Goodnight, Mom

Scanxiety and the Result

2009-11-10T06:43:00.002-06:00

Today was a long day. It started at 5am with a trip to Medical City for Eva's scans.

Today's scans were her one-year post-chemo scans. Your chance of recurrence is greatest within the first two years, however, the first year scan is a biggie. In the 20 months we've had this, we have never had clean scans.

Back when we found the gigantic tumor, we had it removed in March 2008. However, it had pressed right on her spine so there was some residual tumor left. In June 2008, we found out that the residual tumor piece decided to grow so we had to start chemo. Post chemo, all the remaining tumor had gone away except for one small piece close to her lower belly. It was in a weird location so after meeting with our oncologist and our surgeon, we decided to leave it there and watch it. All the scans throughout this year have been clear except for that little piece of tumor, which was not growing.

Leading up to the past two weeks, I've been a bit preoccupied with thoughts of the scan. Eva says her tummy hurts, is it cancer? Is it the flu? Is she just being a dramatic 3-year old? Who knows?? Everything seemed to take me to cancer. Eva has black circles under her eyes, a sore tummy, she's not eating, her body aches, she's running a small fever, her breathing is labored. What are these all symptoms of? Cancer. Oh, and a really bad cold.

Prior to February 2008, I was probably the most apathetic Mom when it came to these things. I'm like the news, if it bleeds, it leads. Beyond that, I was pretty calm. But, once cancer enters your house, your ability think rationally changes completely.

So, here we were to today at the hospital.

Pretty normal stuff. Eva came out with flying colors thanks to the World's Greatest Anesthesiologist, Dr. Davis.

One thing that sort of bothered me a bit, however, is that he had her back for over an hour. Usually, she's only in for about 40 minutes. Not to panic, just sort of wondering.

8am-Called the doctor's office, just to leave my mobile number for the results.

10am-Got back to the office. The timer had started. Usually, I hear back from them around lunch time. Ok, I can wait two hours. I pick up my cellphone and literally carry it with me everywhere in the office. Tick tock tick tock.

Lunch-What did I have for lunch? I don't have a clue. My stomach was in knots and I just had one thing on my mind. I start talking to my phone "Ring!!! Ring!!!"

1pm-I've now called two times. "This is Kristi, again, just checking in on Eva's results..."

2pm-Starting to panic. Strange that they have not called yet. I've now called three times "Hi there, don't mean to bother you but, this is Kristi, just checking on Eva's results..."

2:30pm-I'm starting to freak out. What is the delay? Why have they not called???

3pm- Welcome to Crazy Town, Population 1. What is the deal? Why no call??? Are they waiting to hear back from Sloan Kettering because they had to call in someone?? Has the cancer spread so much that they are trying to just figure out how to tell me???? Are they off for an afternoon of golf?? I DON'T KNOW!!!! Ring, damnit, ring!!!! I can't sit down, I can't think about anything.

3:20pm-Phone rings. It's the nurse. She says that the scans are not yet read. She told me that they have been checking on them all day but were still waiting on the results. I'm completely calm, "Oh, no problem, just sitting here waiting for the results. I'll just wait a bit longer."

4:30pm-Sitting in Jack's Parent Teacher conference with Jack's teacher and the head of the school (yep, it's been one of those years with Jack). Phone rings.

The Result:
For the first time since February 2008, Eva has No Evidence of Disease (NED).

The tumor that was there in her belly was completely gone. No sign of any tumors anywhere.

What does that mean for us?

We meet with the doctor at the end of the month. As far as I know now, we'll still closely scan her for the next year, as per the regimen. After two years, we get to scan every six months. Then, we'll go on from there.

As for us, we celebrated HARD last night. Bought a cake that Jack picked out, had champagne for us and "champagne" for the kids. We toasted and cheered and laughed and had a great time.

Let the wild rumpus begin.

No Evidence of Disease!!!!!

2009-11-10T06:39:00.002-06:00

A Letter to the President

2009-09-30T23:12:00.003-05:00

When Jack came home from school today, he informed me that he needed to write a letter on behalf of his friend Conor and himself to President Obama. I was asked to write it so he could mail it.

It was told to me as follows:

Dear President Obama,

We are going to tear down the playground and rebuild it with I-beams, bricks and wood. We would like for you to take off from work early and fly from Washington, DC to Dallas to come to our school to help us build the playground. We want you to come so that our Moms and Dads can stay at work and get their stuff done. Thank you.

From,
Jack and Conor

Confession Tuesday

2009-09-08T23:19:00.004-05:00

Hello there, all!

I hope you are well on this fine Tuesday. For most of my Virginia pals, today is the first day of school. Welcome back, y'all!

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Gosh, so much to talk about. We're all well over here. Kids are back in school (see previous post) and doing very well.

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Jon has agreed to coach Jack's soccer team this fall. This is hilarious on so many levels. Neither one of us could be described as any sort of "athlete" and the thought that we are somehow in charge of training kids is hilarious. So, Jon and I have been researching soccer drills, etc and gearing up for the big first practice tomorrow night.

I'm sure I'll keep you posted on the season. Go Jaguars!

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This weekend, we spent Sunday doing what we love to do on Labor Day, at WestFest, a polka festival in West, TX. Gosh, we have such a great time! The kids run and play and dance. I get to see my good friend, Sandy and polka with her and her family. It is just a blast.

I was telling my friend earlier today that my favorite part of the festival is watching the group of about 35 fifty-year olds in matching tie dye shirts jumping up and down and laughing so hard they can hardly stand while doing the "Hokey Pokey". That's what it's all about, my friends.

Here's two shots of us. One of us doing the "Hokey Pokey" and the other of us with the Czech Festival Ambassador, Rosie. You have to just love her.

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Jack has been on a tear recently with these imaginative stories.

First, he came home from school the other day and told me that he and his friend Cash were going to build a theatre in our front yard. When I say he told me this, I mean, he told me in GREAT detail.

First, Mom, we're going to use the left over wood that our contractor left behind. Then, we're going to go to the Home Depot and get "several" pieces of extra wood. The theatre is going to have one big room that we are going to paint black. Then, there will be an extra room in case someone else is using the big room and we need to do a play... on and on. The play would be about Indians but they would not use real arrows, he assured me. He even drew up plans for me.

He has also referenced the theatre about every other day since then. When can we build it, Mommy? Oh, I'm sure the neighbors would LOVE that!

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Today, I came home and Jack leapt into my arms and told me a story about the day. Apparently, he saw Eva on the playground today shortly before she took off on the jet-ski at 100mph that happened to be nearby. She also gave rides to all her teachers and fellow students. He said that his friends were like, "wow, who is that person on that jet-ski?" and Jack said he told them that it was his baby sister.

This story went on for a SOLID 20 minutes. Jack was so animated and laughing and telling this story, I was just hooked! At one point, Jack gave jet-ski drivers licenses to the head of the school, Eva's teacher AND a raccoon, who happened to be nearby "in the daylight" while wearing a "raccoon jet-ski driver" shirt (how fortuitous for the raccoon, I wonder if it swayed Jack at all in the testing process.)

The sad part to the jet-ski story is that apparently the army came and picked up the jet-ski's when they discovered that they were supposed to be used for snow skiing and not for zipping around the school at 100mph. Jack assured me that the "army" was not mad at them for having the jet-ski's and that he was not arrested today. Whew!

I'm not quite sure where Jack's going with these stories but they sure are getting grander and more interesting. For now, I'll just enjoy them and look out for raccoons zipping by the house.

First Day of School 2009

2009-09-08T22:29:00.006-05:00

Well, this post is a couple of weeks late. I did not post immediately because I needed to have my photos doctored a bit to take off the name of the kids school from Jack's shirt, our house address, etc. I know, I know. I'm paranoid. Most of the folks reading this know EXACTLY where the kids go and EXACTLY where I live but since this is my blog, you can never be too sure!

So, here they are on the first day of school. Jack and Eva now both go five days per week. My big boy, Jack is an actual Kindergartner. I can't even believe it. The very cool thing about a Montessori school is that ages 3-6 are in the same classroom. So, Jack is year three and that comes with lots of responsibility towards the younger kids. I'm really hoping it does wonders for him this year.

Eva has taken to her school like you can't believe. I love that I get these notes from her teacher telling me stories about the things she is doing. I got a note the other day from her teacher that Eva had advanced so much in the class in one week, they created a "big kid shelf" in honor of her with work that they usually don't pull out until later in the year. You go, Eva!!!

Anyway, here they are in the doctored photos. I told my awesome co-worker (who did these for me in like two days, I was just too lazy to actually post) that if she was going ahead and doctoring them, maybe she could make me like 60lbs lighter. That would really help me in my Weight Watchers. Alas, she didn't. Too bad she does not work for Vogue.

Not Sure How I Feel About This But.....

2009-08-22T17:34:00.003-05:00

Last night, we were in Target waiting to get her hair cut and Eva just burst into song. It cracked me up so much!!

So, today, I recorded her singing two versions. The first was what I heard last night. After we recorded it, Eva said, "Eva do it, again!" and I taped the second version. It made me laugh so hard!!

We hardly let the kids watch any television so I'm not sure where she learned it but she did!

Jack's Barber Shop

2009-08-22T17:14:00.005-05:00

So, we've had an interesting week this week. I came home from work on Monday to find that Jack had completely chopped his bangs off of his head.

To make matters worse, as I was cleaning up his room, I found this in an empty bucket that I had just purchased.

Anyway, Jon and I were VERY unhappy and on Wednesday, I took him off to the barber to get his hair evened out. I mean, school starts on MONDAY! First day of school pics are MONDAY! grrr.

Fast forward to Friday. I come home from work and I take a look at Eva and I'm like, what is wrong with her hair? It looks so strange. Hold it. Eva's bangs have a huge chunk taken out of them. Off to SuperCuts AGAIN!!!

Poor girl. I mean, it took her two years to get any hair at all. As soon as some was growing in, she started chemotherapy and lost it all. THEN, when it was finally growing in...bam! Barber Jack.

I was really unhappy. Here she is now. You can see the post below to check out her 'do last week.

So, tried to think of an effective punishment for Jack. Finally came up with two. One, he had to miss the two birthday parties for his three close friends today (a punishment for me, too, because I missed seeing the other Moms!) and two, he had to take out of the commercial money that he received for his NFL ad that he was saving to buy a camera and pay for the two haircuts.

The truth is, I felt horrible about the punishment. Jack has been an angel today and I really wanted him to go off with his friends. But, had to do what I had to do. I just have to take a look at Eva to get over it.

A friend of mine recommended that I sleep with one eye open since Jack might be in search of a new "client". Good advice, indeed!

File this Under the Things You Always Say You'll Never Do as a Parent but You Do Anyway

2009-08-17T20:50:00.005-05:00

My time with my kids at Camp Grandma ended on Thursday with my arrival in NC. We had decided to take the kids to Myrtle Beach for a couple of days since my kids had not been to the beach all summer.

So, off we go as a family. Six kids under the age of 8 and four adults. We had a blast. The kids played and played.

Eva especially loved being pulled around on a boogie board in the tidal pool. Jack, he was Mr. Sandcastle. I also taught Jack when to jump over waves and when to dive into them. He had a ball.

After we left the beach, we went to dinner in a part of town called Barefoot Landing. Off in the distance, Jack saw a bungee jump. Now, let me just say I am completely against this kind of thing. Call me crazy but the thought of my child landing on his head just scares me to death. BUT, I'm not sure what got into me, Jack asked to do it and I said yes before I thought better.

That said, Jack LOVED it! Check him out!!!

50 Bands

2009-08-11T21:50:00.002-05:00

My best friend, Alex, and another girlfriend, Nicole, tagged me recently in their facebook posts that lists 50 Bands/Acts that they have seen in their years. Ordinarily, I don't participate in these things but this one was really fun.

Since I go to so many music festivals and I can name 50 bands I saw this past April at Jazzfest, I tried to limit myself to those concerts that I actually paid money to see individually.

No judgement, please.

Ok, you can judge.

1. U2
2. Jack Wagner
3. INXS
4. Ziggy Marley
5. Peter Gabriel
6. Janet Jackson
7. Prince
8. Sting
9. Live
10. Crowded House
11. Buddy Guy
12. Ruthie Foster
13. Eric Clapton
14. Marcia Ball
15. Eddie from Ohio
16. Lyle Lovett
17. Robert Earl Keen
18. Los Lobos
19. BB King
20. Blues Traveler
21. The Imagination Movers
22. The Wiggles
23. The Police
24. Dave Matthews Band
25. John Mayer
26. B 52's
27. Violent Femmes
28. KC and the Sunshine Band
29. Robert Randolph and the Family Band
30. The Go Go's
31. Harry Connick, Jr.
32. Buckwheat Zydeco
33. Adam Ant
34. Bruce Springsteen
35. Paul Simon
36. The Gap Band
37. Amy Grant
38. Neil Finn
39. Air Supply
40. Cowboy Mouth
41. Alison Krauss
42. Diana Krall
43. My Morning Jacket
44. Barry Manilow
45. Indigo Girls
46. UB40
47. REM
48. Robert Plant
49. Hootie and the Blowfish
50. And of course, Bon Jovi

The Last Supper

2009-08-07T23:21:00.008-05:00

So, today, I was cleaning out my wallet and found this receipt.

Check out who my waiter was at this meal.

Actually, did have lots of fish tacos and some water. Coincidence?

Confession Tuesday

2009-08-04T20:38:00.002-05:00

Good Evening Folks!

I hope you're having a fine Tuesday. For me, it is LEAPS and BOUNDS better than yesterday. Yesterday, I woke up the same as I had for the past week or so in a panic over Eva's test results. Today, I was able to wake up with the knowledge that all was well, at least for now! It is a great feeling, I tell ya.
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Today is a special day for many reasons. It turns out that today is my dear friend, Whitney's 40th birthday, my dear friend Kathryn's birthday, our "honeymoon buddies", the Wilson's, 8th anniversary, and my niece Ella's 4th birthday. Quite a special day.
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Jon is up in Boston right now on a business trip but spending the evening with Ella on her special day! Happy Birthday baby girl!
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I'm holding down the fort here in the Big D. Things are cooking around here. First, we are doing some remodeling. FINALLY getting our new windows that we have been wanting for months. I swear, it looks like a new house! AND our electric and gas bill will go down significantly, now that we don't have windows that will not close all the way.

You know, when you do minor repairs like painting and windows, it makes your house seem so new! Next stop, having all ceilings painted inside the house, painting Jack's room and getting a new coat of paint in our den. WAHOO! New Goodnight Mom house!!
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Jack and Eva are heading to "Camp Grandma" in North Carolina on Saturday. They cannot wait. Jon and I are flying out to meet them on Thursday but that will give us five whole days in Dallas by ourselves! It is so sad but we're mostly excited about working late and getting home projects done without the kids. I'm sure there will be some late nights, knowing us, but still, it's a new day when all we want to do is work late. Sad...
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Ok, here's the thing. The fact is that our nanny goes home at 5:30 and it is SUCH a stress that I have to make sure I leave the office no later than 5:00pm EVERY SINGLE day! Does not matter that I'm in the middle of something or that I have a meeting. I have to race out the door. It is so hard!

I know, I'm a bad parent and I should be thrilled to spend every minute with my kids. I am thrilled. It is just the "have to" that gets me. I try to work at night after the kids go to bed but sometimes, I'm just on a roll and I want to stay an extra 30 min so I can turn it off when I get home. Alas...
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BUT not next week! Jon and I have so much planned! Wahoo! AND our 8th anniversary is coming up two weeks from today. Since Jon will be out on a business trip, we're going to celebrate a bit early when the kids are gone.
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So, I asked Jack what he was looking most forward to seeing in North Carolina. He told me that he was most excited about the "b-e-a-c-h". He cracks me up when he spells things.

The kids have been on a roll recently. I was so sad that Jon missed the antics at dinner last night.

Jack informed me that when he was going to NC, he was going to call an "emergency meeting of the boy's club". Hmm. Ok, Jack, who's in that club? "Me (5), Davis (3), James (8 mos) and Andrew (3mos). " Wow. That will be quite a meeting, Jack. What will you discuss? "Well, the first thing is that we have to find a new director. I think that Andrew should direct the meetings." THAT is something I'd like to see! Jack, what about your sister and your BFF cousin, Claire? "Well, since they are girls, they can come to the emergency meeting of the boy's club BUT they cannot direct the meetings. Only boys can direct the meetings." Jack, you were born in the wrong era, my friend, if you think that will fly with those strong-headed gals!

It was hilarious. He just went on and on. The funny thing is that I could not discover why there needed to be an "emergency" meeting in the first place. What did they have to urgently discuss? I told my sister that she needed to attend to take some notes. That will be very important to make sure they cover all their agenda items.
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Also last night, Jack was going on and on about something. Eva turned to him and said, "Jack, stop being such a cwy baby." I fell out of my chair.
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There is one word in our family that reduces the children to hysterical laughter no matter what they are doing. That word is "spaghetti". Eva can be throwing the biggest hissy fit and you look at her and say the magic word, she bursts out laughing. It is the answer to all knock knock jokes. (example: knock knock, who's there? Spaghetti---nothing else needs to be said. Hysterical laughter ensues.) What makes that word so funny? I don't know. I just keep it in my arsenal.
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Ok, here's a real confession. Tonight, I was in the restroom. The phone rings. Eva runs over to the phone and answers it.

I hear her say, "Nope. She can't. She's going poop. Good bye."

Hang up.

I sure hope it was a telemarketer.

Good Scans

2009-08-03T21:41:00.003-05:00

Today, Eva had an MRI. Right now, we're having her scanned every three months.

We ran into our doctor in the elevator on the way back and he said he would call us as soon as he had any word.

A couple of hours later, we got the word that the scans were good!!! The small tumor that was left behind is, "hardly noticeable." That's movement in the right direction!

Hooray!!!!

What does that mean, well, we go to the doctor next month and then scan again in November.

I won't go on and on about my emotions with this news. I will say that I have a bit of a delayed celebration. You just get so prepared for the bad news that it takes some time to get your head wrapped around the good news. It is such an emotional roller coaster. Feeling better now.

Of course, I have Eva asleep in my bed waiting for me to snuggle.

Never gonna let that gal go.

King Tut!

2009-07-22T20:58:00.004-05:00

We got some great news with Eva today! Her cathecolemines were the lowest they have been EVER since we started this process! WAHOO!!!

That is such wonderful news! We are doing an MRI next month and we'll have more to report then!

As for Eva, I'm attaching a little video of Eva's antics tonight. Her "monster" impression reduces me to hysterical laughter each and every time. As for the other part, well, maybe we spent too much time at the museum and on You Tube this past year. My kids love them some Steve Martin!

Yeah us!

Odds and Ends

2009-07-16T20:43:00.006-05:00

Well, it has certainly been a while for me since I have written. Lazy summer nights, combined with a bout of strep throat. Just exhausted. This will be a bit of a hodge podge of confessions and updates.
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We're all here enjoying all the heat and fun that summer in Texas brings. More heat than fun, but hey, it's all good.

Here are some shots my niece took of the kids on the slip and slide in the front yard. God bless whoever invented that thing.

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Well, for July 4, Jon and I ended up going to Napa Valley to visit some friends, again this year. Our wonderful friends, The Stulls, were so kind to host us, yet again. We had a relaxing three days filled with friends and wine. I won't go into the drama of non-revving (airplane employee-speak) on a holiday weekend. I'll just focus on our time there and say it was perfect. AND I got yet another break from the Dallas heat! Wahoo!

Two shots from the trip. One of my hot husband at our friend's house and one of the two of us.

I'd like to send a special thank you to Jon's parents for agreeing to keep the kids! THANK YOU!

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We got back from our vacation and our niece Limor came in to town. Limor lives in Israel and we don't see her very often. As a matter of fact, it had been nearly 2 years since I had laid eyes on that girl. Way too long! We had such a nice time with her!!

My two gorgeous gals!

Jack and Limor decide to bake a cake!

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Whenever Limor comes to town, we watch High School Musicals. It is our thing. I can now officially say that I have seen all three. The Trilogy, if you will. Admittedly, no one loves a good musical more than I and I'm especially a sucker for a good high school story.

My review? Of the three, I have to say that the first one is the best, followed by the second and the third. There were some good songs, though, but none as catchy as "We're All in this Together".

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By the way, I have used that song TWICE this week at work as an example of how a group of folks can work together.

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Speaking of work, I'm playing on the office softball team. We have an intra-Y employee tournament next Saturday. I'm the coach/organizer of the team from the Association Office. This is hilarious on so many levels.

My first practice, I grabbed Jon's lefty glove on the way out the door. So, I had to attempt to catch the ball with the wrong hand. I did great until I tried to catch a screamer hit by one of our guys and I ended up catching it with my wrist. It immediately swelled up and turned purple. REALLY purple.

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When I told my father what I was doing, he told me that at my age, the only thing I should be running on the softball field is the concession stand.

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I played regularly on a work softball team when I lived in Atlanta in my 20's. To say I was terrible does not even come close. But, they needed a girl and I would show up and play catcher. Yeah, a 5'11" catcher. I could actually catch the ball and that was the place that I did the least amount of damage to the team.

Anyway, it was the final game of season 2. My dad happened to be in town and came to support me. I got up to the plate and hit a double! My team went wild, screaming with excitement!!! My father was there and said, that he was very proud of me but did not understand the excessive celebrating done by my teammates.

What he did not realize was that was the first time in two seasons that I had been on base.
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The other night, I stayed up for hours and hours watching Square Pegs on Hulu.com. (see confession above about high school stories) I just love that Sarah Jessica Parker in her awkward younger years. Gosh, that was a great show.

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As for the kids this summer, well, it's just been a bit challenging, to be honest. Not having them in school, they are just running wild and Jon and I are struggling to keep them in line. They are having a great summer, though. They are both at camps and are having a blast.

A quick update on each:

Eva is getting so big and so articulate (for better or for worse). For better in that we can understand much more of what she is saying. For worse, her opinions about EVERYTHING are getting stronger. Jack never cared which bowl he was given or what clothes he wore to bed. He as just happy to get anything. Eva, not so much. She wants the pink spoon and the blue cup and the Sponge Bob pj's. Such a difference!

Her spanish is also getting better and she is starting to distinguish between the two languages in which person speaks which language. Jack picked this up MUCH earlier than she but it is great she is coming around. She still does not speak in spanish as much as I would hope. If you talk to her in spanish, though, she'll answer you correctly. Just in english. Soon, I hope!

The best thing I can say about Eva is how she greets you when you enter the door. When I turn down my street, my smile just widens because I know what is coming. I see that little girl open the door and come running out and JUMPS in my arms...MOMMY'S HOME!!! Man, it is awesome. The cool thing is that you don't have to be gone all day to get that reception. I went to the store to return a movie the other day. I returned about 7 minutes later to the same greeting. Sometimes, it makes me want to just go drive around the block just so I can come home.

As for Jack, he's spent the summer on many projects. We're having our house painted so he likes to assist the folks doing that. Jack is a helper. He wants to help with everything from cooking to cleaning to baking to packing for a trip. Jack is my little helper.

This summer, he has focused on his reading every single night and is starting level 2 reading books at age 5. I'm right proud of him. He needs some work on his motor skills with his writing, as that is about an age 3 or so but he'll get there!

He is also suddenly interested in building things with recycled materials. The other day, he told me that I could not throw away the old cereal box because he was going to build a puppet theatre with it. Ok, Jack! Looking very forward to seeing that! It's good, though. He is far more conscientious about the environment than I was at 5 or 25, for that matter.

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Took Eva to both the pediatrician and the oncologist this week. I am happy to report she is perfectly proportioned in height, weight and head size. 50-75%. Good job, Nubbin!

We'll have the results of the catecholomines in a week or so. Then, an MRI in August.

That's about it for us. I'll end with a shot that I took a month or so ago. We were on our way to a Cancer Survivor's picnic. Eva did this entirely on her own and turned to look at me just as I snapped this shot. It is one of my favorites of the kids.

The Commercial

2009-06-29T14:41:00.006-05:00

So, today was the big day for the commercial. Jack woke up bright and early and was PSYCHED! So, was I, to be honest. We were going to have a fun day.

Yesterday, I had gotten a call from one of the assistant directors that our call time was 9am since we were super special and they wanted Jack for a different role.

Off we went to the fields. We got there and they pulled us outside right away. They had one child Chris and put him in a different shirt.

Meanwhile, another assistant director came up to me and said, "would you mind being in the commercial? We need you to push your "daughter" on a swing. Would that be ok? I love your green shirt."

So, one of the other Moms took care of Jack and I went off to the swingset with my new 10-year old daughter, Logan.

I get back and then they said, ok, that's it! Turns out that they wanted Jack as a BACK UP if they did not like the kid that they were hoping for! BUMMER! So, Jack just ended up being in the group ad. Mom, however? In the main ad.

Then, they brought in the other 50 kids and for the next four hours, they ran Jack back and forth. I can't believe that he made it!

In the commercial were: Hines Ward, of the Pittsburg Steelers, Antonio Gates of the San Diego Chargers and AJ Hawk of the Green Bay Packers.

So, if you are watching football this season and see a group of kids running around in a United Way ad, see if you can spot Jack! And if you see someone chasing another kid around in a field, look off into the distance and you'll see Goodnight Mom and her daugther, happily swinging.

Here are some shots. Me with my "daughter" Logan

Jack lives United

Here's your Where's Waldo moment. Can you see Jack??

Jack after about three hours.

Jack and his new friend, Hines Ward.

Quick Hits

2009-06-28T17:50:00.003-05:00

Ok, some quick hits.

Last week, I received an email from our CEO that they were having try outs for 5-12 year old "regular kids" for a nationally televised NFL/United Way commercial that was shooting in Dallas.

So, I thought it could be fun to take my "regular kid" to see if he could make the list!

Yesterday, I heard that he did!

So, not only will he be in the group commerical, today, they called to ask if he was available to be featured in a different commercial! AND they are going to pay him $100!

I told Jack that he was getting paid for this and his response was, "Mommy, they can't pay me $100, I'm only a kid not an adult!"

Anyway, more on this tomorrow when we finish!

*******

Went to Boston this weekend to see my BFF Jana. She's been going through a bit of a tough time recently and I just wanted to head up there for some girl time.

We had such a great time. Here we are outside of Fenway (woot woot!) where we went to go pick up some updated Sox gear for the kids.

Can I just say not only was it heaven to see my dearest, being in Boston in the middle of summer in Dallas is like being in God's air conditioner. I kept asking Jana to go outside. Last night, I slept with all the windows open...under a heavy blanket....ahhhhhhh.

Arrived home today to 104 degrees Dallas. BAM! Back to reality!

You Better Watch Out!

2009-06-23T14:26:00.002-05:00

Does this ad scare anyone else as much as it does me??

He's watching......

A Father's Day Story

2009-06-21T15:43:00.008-05:00

First, a very happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there in cyberland. I hope you are having a wonderful day.

Here's our Father's Day story:

Last night, Jon and I decided to take advantage of a little YMCA (who invented Father's Day, by the way!) membership perk, Parents Night Out. This is a deal and a half for us. Our kids get to spend the night out playing with other kids, it is SUPER cheap for us!

So, we decided to take the kids to the Y and go see The Hangover (hilarious, by the way, in a raunchy, oh this is just wrong kinda way). We were feeling pretty good, I must say.

Babysitter: $10
Movie, popcorn, and drink: Free (I had reward points)
Time alone on a cheap date: Priceless

Here's the flip side. We knew we would be paying for our wonderful date today. We did not pick up the kids until 10:30pm. Jack was half asleep, Eva was wide awake and bubbly.

Payment came due.

This morning, kids woke up bright and early. Since Sunday is my day to wake up with the kids anyway, I was up bright and early. Jack is fine. Eva wakes up and, boy, is she a treat.

A sample interaction:
Me: "Eva. Here's your cereal."
The charmer: "NOOOOOO! I WANT THE BLUE TURTLE BOWL!!!" This is followed by newspaper, napkins and whatever is near being chucked to the floor.

My usual response to this is to carry her little bottom to her room and when the devil has decided to exorcise himself from her, sweet Eva comes out.

Multiply this conversation by about 6 and that's how the morning went. Happy Freakin' Father's Day!!!

Jon wakes up, (I'm sure the screaming and head-spinning-walking backwards on the ceiling Eva didn't help), and decides to have us celebrate his big day by going to the Dallas World Aquarium and to lunch. I'm thinking this is a pretty good thing.

Get to the aquarium, Eva is a dream. She's laughing, having fun, holy cow, the Eva we know and love is there. I can get the priest off of speed dial.

Here are the kids with our good friend Ricardo, who does a Mayan dance routine every weekend at the Aquarium. See how happy they look?

Then lunch.

We order our food. Eva decides that she wants to butter her own bread. I tell her that she can do the next piece.

That was all she wrote.

I tried to reason with her. This was to no avail. Toast got thrown. Shoes got thrown. Jon took her outside to let her "scream it out". Nothing. Eva was OUT OF CONTROL. Oh, did I mention that she also bit me? HARD! Yea me!

So, in an effort to salvage Jon's Father's Day, I took Eva home for a nap.

Jon decided to stay at the place we ordered lunch and I picked him up after Eva's nap. Jon's lunch spot? The pub, where he was for three and a half hours. No wife, no kids, and a credit card.
Happy Father's Day, Jon!

A little update:
Eva finally woke up. She was an angel. Happy, happy, happy! When we were in the car on our way to get Jon, she was in the back seat singing this song: "Eva is the sweetest girl, sweetest girl, sweetest girl. Eva is the sweetest girl..." Oh, yeah. She's sweet alright!

Ice Castles

2009-06-20T17:19:00.003-05:00

Today, we had a birthday party for some classmates of Jack's. They had a party at the ice rink here in Dallas. I told the Mom of the party that I was pretty sure she did this to humiliate the parents. She told me that it was just an added bonus. :)

Now, I have always loved going ice skating. I've never been necessarily skilled in ice skating but have always found it very fun.

Jon played ice hockey in high school and often says that he married me so that we would have tall children so they could play ice hockey. Not sure how that's working out for Jon but whatever.

So, back to the party. We all four get skates. I had thought that Jack would be a bit hesitant at first but then really take to it once he figured it out. Eva, on the other hand, is a bit picky on things she likes to do. She does things on her own time. Also, she often wants to be carried around most of the time rather than walk. So, I thought that this would not interest her in the slightest. Not so, Grasshopper.

We get out on the ice. Jon has Eva, I have Jack. I told Jack that he had to wait on the side for just a minute so I could skate one time around by myself. I mean, it's been YEARS and I needed to get my bearings!

As I made my way around, I skated at a snail's pace past Eva and Jon. I think I was blinded by the gigantic smile on Eva's face. She just kept saying over and over, "Mommy, this is fuuuun!"

I made it back to Jack who was terrified. But, we made it once around together and he did great. I then decided that if I was with him, he would not learn. So, I had him go by himself by hanging on the side. By the end of the session, Jack was a pro!

Eva? Well, not surprisingly, she decided after five minutes that she could absolutely do this on her own. She would not let us hold her for anything! We finally convinced her to let us hold her hand while she held on to the side. That seemed to appease her. When we left, Eva was sobbing. She kept saying, Eva skate! Eva skate!

All in all, we laughed and laughed and had so much fun as a family. Who knew ice skating the middle of Texas summer would be so great. Yes, Eva it was fuuuuuun!

Confession Tuesday

2009-06-16T20:42:00.002-05:00

Happy Tuesday!
*******
As I write this, my husband has turned on Citizen Kane on TCM. Jon does not like old movies unless they are war movies (ugh) so it is a rare treat for me to get to watch a movie in black and white that we both like!
*******
I know that I write about this a lot but I do love old movies. I could spend all weekend long on AMC, TCM and FMC. Oh, and it if it is a musical, look out! I'm one happy gal.
*******
Jack and Eva play doctor a lot. Tonight, Eva was giving me a physical while wearing her doctor coat. She checked my blood pressure, took my temperature, checked my ears and then pulled down my shirt to "access my port". Then, Jack diagnosed me as having an ear infection with the treatment of chemotherapy. The good news, of course, as he told me, was that I would not lose my hair. He mixed a special formula of chemotherapy with medicine that makes my hair grow. Now, why has no one thought of that before???
*******
I often wonder about the long-term effects of the last 15 months on the kids. Honestly, maybe it will be that they both just turn out as doctors. I can't imagine that practice, Dr. Jack and Dr. Eva. Both fighting to maintain control. Jack taking everything so literally, Dr. Western Medicine, Eva feeling their pain and wanting to practice some Eastern medicine. Oh, to be a fly on the wall there!
*******
Today, I almost got into a wreck on my way to a meeting. My lane ended and I was attempting to merge with another driver. She would not move. She was right at my passenger rear door. I could not slow down to merge because I was sure to hit her from the back side. So, I hit a couple cones as I tried to avoid her car. As I gave her some "signals" that said, hello there, madame, this is a merge lane, her signal to me was to "bring it on". I think if I had the chance, I might have punched her in the freaking face. Oh, sister, I would "bring it" for sure.
*******
I'm not exactly what you would call a violent person. I'm actually pretty even keeled. Mostly happy, even. I don't know why I wanted to punch her freaking face, to be honest. Make no mistake, however, I would have knocked her lights out. It's a MERGE! MERGE for goodness sakes!
*******
I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Let me be upfront and say that I just love Facebook. I love reconnecting with old friends. I love that this is a great way for my gigantic family to stay connected. It is so easy for us.

There are a couple of things, however, that have been bothering me recently:

1) I hate hate hate hate the new home page. It's not that I hate the format, it's fine. I just hate seeing all the crap that all my friends are doing, no offense to my friends. I love seeing your pictures that you post. I love seeing your status updates. I love seeing your notes. It's just those "do you know me quiz" answers, mafia wars (??), so and so sent such and such a drink, etc. Why do I have to see all that stuff? It takes me 25 minutes just to check out what my friends are doing. Isn't that the purpose of this thing?? You post your thoughts and people comment on it? Why muck it all up with all that other jazz? I just don't get it.

2) Facebook even changed the "Friends" page. Even with the new formatted home page, you used to be able to sneak through the friends page to see just the status update. Alas, no more.

3) Can I have a bit of a moment of "Facebook Etiquette?" This is a small thing but I just have one request. If you are mad at someone, please do not use their "wall" or your status update to voice your grievances. This comes up on my home page. It is just depressing for me to log on to see what you're up to only to find that someone, like two high school friends, are mad at each other.

This rule especially applies if you are a member of my family. Trust me when I tell you that this brings into action an immediate Goodnight Mom family phone tree. It's not pretty, I tell you. It's hours and hours of intra-familial discussion.

I know this is a bit strange coming from a blogger who often talks about my personal feelings. However, when I rant, I don't usually rant about people that you actually know in person. This is unless you happen to be related to Dr. Senior Moment Lady or perhaps that person in the car earlier today. If you are, well, then I'm sorry. Truly, I am. See how sincere I am?
*******
One of my co-workers suggested that I take a look at this website called www.findyourspot.com It is basically one of those sites where you put in lots of information and it tells you what city/town in the US best suits your needs. I answered this completely honestly last Friday night. I did not restrict myself to any part of the US. I selected both medium and large towns. Just thought I would see where this site thinks I should live.

Want to know the #1 suggested place? Norfolk, VA, my hometown. No kidding. It was hilarious! Guess I just loves me some hometown!

Good thing is that Norfolk ended up in the top 3 for Jon so if I have to move back home, at least I can take my husband with me...whew!
*******
When I came home from work today, Jack was standing on a 7 foot ladder with a hammer, assisting our contractor with replacing some 2 x4's on the roof. I nearly had a heart attack. He was undaunted and when I was leaping over our grill and brick wall to catch to him before he fell, he very calmly came down. He then grabbed a piece of wood to measure it. He took a pencil from our contractor's pocket, grabbed measuring tape and wrote on the piece of wood the exact measurements of it. Then, he took the measuring tape, put it in his back pocket and put the pencil behind his ear before taking the wood to the contractor's truck. He looked 25 years old. I just stood there and watched my life pass before my eyes. My baby's all growd up.
*******
On the flip side, tonight at dinner, Eva grabbed her hot dog, rubbed it on her lips and said, "Hot dog makeup, Daddy!" I don't know why we just thought that was so hilarious. Maybe that would be a good fragrance for a new line of child lip gloss. Hot dog, cheeseburger, chicken tender...all their favorites. Hmmm, maybe I'm on to something!
*******
Goodnight Mom, needs your help! My hub and I are looking for a getaway for July 4 weekend. We have arranged for a sitter. Jon works for an airline so we fly for free. However, we have some financial constraints on where we stay. So, my question is, where should we go? Anyone have any good suggestions?

I would love to go to a place we've never been before, which pretty much excludes most everything east of the Mississippi. Not all, so if you've got a good suggestion...I'll take it!

That's it for me. I hope you all have a great week and if you see someone trying to merge, please, please, please let them in.

Andrew Hubbard

2009-06-06T14:51:00.006-05:00

This post is a week or so late. As I mentioned, I've been a bit lazy on the writing front recently.

Last Wednesday, I was walking into our Board of Directors monthly meeting and got a phone call from my sister, Angela.

She was in labor and off to the hospital.

I went to my meeting and then raced to the airport to try to get there in time. You see, this is my sister's fourth child. We weren't sure exactly how long she would be in labor. I kept envisioning the scene from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life where the Mum is washing dishes and has the baby. "Get that, would you dearie?"

Anyway, missed the first flight, sadly, no room. Got on the next one and ended up in Pinehurst at 1:30am.

At 6:00am, my darling little Andrew Hubbard made his appearance. He gave us quite a scare at first coming out in a lovely shade of blue but Angela's doctor was quite masterful and he was pink within seconds.

Andrew is a name they like but Hubbard is Dyda's and my father's middle name. That little fella has a lot to live up to!

Andrew was 8 lbs 11 oz (I won the pool, by the way, I said 8lbs 12oz). Quite a chunky fella.

Now, my sister has two girls and two boys. The perfect little family. Angela was quite the trooper, as her blood counts did not allow her to have any drugs. I don't know how she did it. She looks amazing here!

As for me, I was back at my desk on Friday morning. 36 hours from departure. Took me about four days to recover but totally worth it.

Aunt Binky + Andrew = TLA

Welcome to our family, little fella!!!

A Port in the Storm

2009-06-04T15:05:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm home from the hospital.

It was a bit of a crazy morning. Jon and I were trying to distract Eva from wanting something to eat and drink by showing her television, an unheard of treat for a weekday morning!

Eva went to get dressed this morning and demanded that she wear her favorite shirt, her signed Imagination Movers shirt. Guess what? It's filthy. FILTHY. I mean, she wears that thing nearly every single day. But, there was no talking her out of it today. How do you reason with someone who says, "Eva go to hospital get port out? Eva wear Movers shirt!" Dirty shirt, it is.

As I mentioned yesterday, I have been a blubbering idiot for the past 48 hours or so. Thought that maybe I would be better today. As we got into the car, you can guess (or "Imagine" as it were) that Eva demanded that we listen to the Movers. The good news is that they have a new cd out that has some pretty rockin' songs on it so that mixes up our collection somewhat.

Anyway, back to my blubbering. Was in the car listening and singing along to the Movers when just as we were pulling up to the hospital, the song they wrote about Mothers came on. Eva and Jack love this song and it reduces me to tears each time they sing it to me, anyway. Today? WAY WORSE. Eva screamed as it came on, "Mommy, this is your song!!!" Then, she was in the back seat, "I love my moooom, I love my moooom."

Waterworks.

After I stopped sobbing, we pulled in. We were told to be at the hospital by 8am for her 10am surgery. So, we got there, got checked in, saw all our nurse friends and Dr. Lenarsky in the hall and then went to the playroom.

Eva went into surgery to have her port removed at 10am. About 30 min later, the doctor came out and told us he was finished! VERY fast.

A funny Jack note. Yesterday, he got it in his head that he wanted to see the port. I told him that I was not sure it was possible. So, last night, he asked me 15 times to at least ask the doctor. This morning, it was my only instruction. "Do not forget to ask Dr. Kadesky if I can have the port." Of course, the doctor was happy to do it. So, he came bringing us the port in a sealed bag. To say Jack was thrilled is an understatement. He immediately wanted to insert it into some of Eva's dolls. We've either got a budding surgeon or a serial killer on our hands. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the surgeon.

After surgery, Eva took some time in recovery but came out of anesthesia very cheerful. We got in the car and she demanded that I give her ice cream and crank up the bass of the Movers cd. She'll be just fine.

That is a good day. The hard part is, of course, preventing her from leaping off of furniture and dive-bombing into stuff. At least today, anyway!

Here are some shots at the hospital. First is of Eva and me. Second is Daddy teaching Eva some skills she can use to put herself through college.

It's a good day here. I'll keep my sobbing to a minimum.

Confession Tuesday

2009-06-03T22:42:00.002-05:00

On a Wednesday!
*******
Had tried to hop in the confessional last night but a certain hubby of mine hijacked my computer. I went to bed WELL before he was finished.
*******
Lots going on here in Goodnight Mom Land. We've been very busy over here. Have not been posting at all. Don't know why, really. Just tired, I guess. I hate when I go for long periods of time between posts. Strange thing is that I think of things to post all day long. Like, hey, maybe I should write about this or that. Then, I get home, watch TV and crash. I'm so lame.
*******
Jack finishes up his pre-K school year tomorrow. My little boy will be in Kindergarten next year. I took Jack to school today because I won't be able to tomorrow. I went to thank his teachers and burst into tears. Then, I went to talk to the school administrator and burst into tears, again. Got into my car and sobbed the whole way into work.

The thing is, we have had a LONG year with Eva. It started out with chemo and Jack in constant trouble. Those folks at the kid's school are absolutely amazing. I don't know where we would have been without their infinite patience and support.

You know, I happened to have found that school on a whim. I was looking for a place for Jack to go when I was pregnant with Eva so that when she arrived, I would not have Jack sitting at home just staring at her all day. Most mother's day out programs were 9-12p. Too short. OR very expensive. Not an option.

I was heading to the library one afternoon and passed this sign for a mom's day out program. I turned the car around and popped in. I signed Jack up before I left that day. We fell in love with the school immediately. We found a home for our kids when we weren't really looking.

Then, during Eva's diagnosis and subsequent treatments, the family support we received was amazing. We hardly knew any of the families who brought us food. It was overwhelming. I don't know how we would have done it without that help.

Jack had a rough start to the year. With Eva in and out of the hospital, losing her hair, my grandfather dying, it was a tough fall for a four-year old. His teachers were incredible. The difference in Jack over the year, well, I don't think I have enough words to say how grateful I am to them.

I just hope they are ready for Eva five days a week next year! Look out!!
*******
I'm also sad that several of the families we have become friends with are leaving the school. I know this is the case every year for folks but Jack is in Montessori so the kids are aged 3-6 in one class. Jack has the same teacher for three school years.

At the end of each school year, kids leave kindergarten for first grade. Many folks at the school put them in public school at this point. The thing is that you have so many of the same parents in your classroom for several years. So, your kids become friends, you become friends, etc. It is just hard at the end of the year.

As my Texan co-worker said so eloquently today, " 'come-a-flood!" (That means "bring on the waterworks" to the rest of us)
*******
A huge part of the reason I'm so emotional today is that Eva is getting her port taken out tomorrow morning. (YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I'm on the hospital Family Advisory Board and we had a meeting last night. I was chatting with one of the mom's there and she said that although Eva was having a minor surgery, it was monumental in meaning.

She was absolutely right. I, of course, since I seem to have no control over my emotions these days (no, I'm not pregnant), burst into tears.

This is monumental. It means that the doctors feel that she does not have a high risk of growth right now. I'm so hopeful that it is forever but for now, I'm just so happy.
*******
I tried to tell my co-workers the story of going to Jack's school and the port discussion today over lunch. However, I burst into tears and could not finish.

Dude, I need to get it together...bad.
*******
We had a couple of layoffs at work this week. A dear colleague of mine was let go. It was so hard to see her walk out the door and there is a hole in our small group without her. I know it was entirely a business decision but it really has been tough. We sure miss her.
*******
Gosh, I really sound depressed, don't I? I'm really not. Just an emotionally swinging week.

Oh, here's something fun. We had a birthday party on Saturday morning at Pump It Up. For those not in the Big D, that is a place that has rooms of inflatables.

The mom of the child brought extra socks so that parents could jump around with their kids and play, too.

Guess which Mom was first in line? Yep! Yours truly. Jack and I laughed and laughed and jumped and raced each other on the obstacle course. I'm not quite sure which one of us had more fun!

Here's the real confession. My elbows are RAW from where I was sliding down the slide over and over. I was laughing so hard that I did not notice my skin ripping away. So, each elbow has a scab that still hurts, by the way! Jack? He's just fine.
*******
I also had a friend turn 60 (or 30 x 2, as she put it) on Sunday. She had her party at the Czech club. Jon became obsessed with us joining. The only criteria is that you have to be Catholic. Check for one of us! Anyway, Jon wants me to join so that we could be the first ones with a Jewish last name to join the KJT. Well, that and the non-stop polka music and cheap beer. We might. Since we are a "mutt" couple, it would be fun to just adopt the Czechs as our own (or maybe have them adopt us! Please??)

Eva was hilarious at the party, as usual. When the polka music starts, Eva hits the dance floor. She demands that each one of you get up from the table and dance along with her. I was trying to catch up with some old friends and had to keep dancing!
*******
Off to bed. I'll post tomorrow the results of the surgery. We go in at 10a so if you happen to be thinking of Eva, please say a quick prayer for her.

Chic-Fil-A

2009-05-22T18:17:00.001-05:00

Oh, how I love thee....

Lunch: A True Story

2009-05-21T15:46:00.005-05:00

Today is gorgeous here in Dallas. I mean, off the charts gorgeous. Sunny, 75 degrees or so. I'm wearing these nice white pants (yes, a week before Memorial Day...lay off me!) and just feel spring is in the air.

A pal of mine who called me earlier to rub in the fact that he was at the Byron Nelson and not, in fact at work, suggested that for lunch I take a stroll through downtown.

Excellent idea.

Off I go by myself to lunch. Now, I really don't mind eating lunch by myself. I obviously prefer to hang with my friends but today I was solo. I picked up a newspaper and was ready to settle in for lunch.

I find a restaurant that serves my all time favorite--the crab cake sandwich. I'm sitting outside, crab cake sandwich is coming, wind is blowing softly, all is well.

Crab cake arrives. Crab cake comes with steak fries. Steak fries need ketchup. Can you guess where this is headed?

So, I grab the ketchup, turn it over and WHAM! Ketchup pours everywhere. All over my plate, all over my new cellphone and that's right, all over my nice white pants.

Suddenly, I noticed that EVERYONE was staring. People in the restaurant, the giant group of people walking back to their offices on the street. It was as if someone knew this was going to happen and said, "Hey everyone! This is gonna be GOOOD!!!"

Suddenly, I felt completely aware that I was utterly alone. If I had friends with me, I would have laughed so hard I would pee. Alone? I wanted to just crawl under the table.

The song in my head went from my happy "I'm Eating a Crab Cake" song to "All by myseeeeelf, don't wanna be..."

Oh, did I mention that I still had to make the five block trek back to the office in my ketchup pants?

Yeah me!

I, Robot

2009-05-20T21:13:00.007-05:00

Confession Tuesday on a Wednesday! I was on the phone very late last night and just was too tired to write. So, here I am tonight!
*******
Hello all! I can't believe what a week it was last week! It seems like such a blur. When the nurse called to give me the news, I was in a state of shock.

It went something like this:

Nurse: "Kristi, Eva's tumor is stable. That means no growth which is great news since we are so far out of treatment and we have not seen any growth at all since round 2 of chemo!"

Me: completely monotone. "I see. Ok. Well, what are our next steps? Do we just have her port removed? When do we need to be seen again?"

Nurse: Silence. Then, "Um. Let me check"

Nurse: "Doctor says yes, take the port out"

Me: Silence.

Nurse: "Kristi?"

Me: Sobbing full throttle. No words coming.

Nurse: "Are you ok? Are you happy?"

Me: Still sobbing.

This goes on for a few minutes. Finally, I apologized for my inability to communicate. Hung up the phone and had a similar conversation with Jon.

My awesome co-workers came out of the restaurant where we were having lunch. I could not stop crying long enough to even tell them what was going on. I was just in shock.
*******
The fact is, I absolutely felt with 100% certainty we were not going to get that news. I knew that no matter how much I hoped and prayed that Eva for SURE had a return of her cancer.

It is strange. I NEVER talk like that. But, the fact is that Eva had been having those random otherwise benign symptoms for several months. Combine that with the slightly rising cathecolemines and I knew we were in for trouble. I just could not believe the news.
*******
I was completely mortified when I came to my senses that anyone other than Jon saw me cry. I don't know why I'm such a freak when it comes to that but I AM! I have said this before but I absolutely cannot stand PDE (public displays of emotion). My job is to be happy all the time. That is my comfort zone. Happiness.
*******
When I interviewed for my current position, they asked me to take this online personality test, basically. You have to rank these random things and somehow it tells you what kind of person you are. My test could not have been more accurate if I had filled it out, myself.

What is interesting about it? It talks a lot about my focus on being unemotional and incredibly focused on my work. How it can tell that by my choosing between a taco and a baby panda is beyond me.

My pal and I were comparing ours the other day and we just decided that I was basically a robot with no feelings.
*******
The weird part of it all is that nothing makes me happier than to cry in a movie. I don't care WHO hears me! Jon tells a hilarious story (well, it's hilarious when he tells it) about me watching Whale Rider. Holy crap. That's the mother load of sobbing movies. I just could not control myself. It felt great. Maybe that's my problem. I hide behind fiction and not reality for my emotional release. Hmmm, time for therapy!
*******
Between having a bit of a tough week at the office (nothing major, just tough) and the Eva worry, I was a complete zombie on Friday afternoon. A friend of mine would say that it looked as if someone tripped on my cord and I just became unplugged from the wall. (hmm, more robot references??)

Earlier in the week, my awesome pal, Rhonda, offered to take care of the kids on Friday night so Jon and I could go out. Post-Eva news/tough week, I was absolutely dead and just wanted to sit on the couch and stare at the wall. But, since my awesome pal, Rhonda, offered to take care of the kids and Jon really wanted to go out, I knew I had to rally.

To the rescue? My also awesome co-workers who took me across the street for a quick celebratory shot of tequila. That will fire you up for the night!
*******
On Friday night, Jon and I went to Neighborhood Services. This place is terrific. Not only is the food good but they make a drink at the bar called a Slazenger 1. Let me tell you, it is so good, it will make you slap yo mamma!

SLAZENGER 1: Pimms Number One 9/Square One organic cucumber vodka/basil/ cucumber/ red grapefruit/hand charged seltzer

Three of those later, I was really fired up and ready for the night!
*******
Spent most of the rest of the weekend sleeping (not hungover, actually, just sleeping). It rained all day on Saturday so it was the perfect day for me to just sleep and sleep. I was so grateful to Jon for keeping the kids away so I could rest my brain.
*******
That's about it. I'm having a good week at work this week, though! All is brighter. I think that for once, I will allow myself to feel good about where Eva is. At least for now, it's time to celebrate and enjoy the summer. We'll deal with the next MRI news in September.
*******
One final note of the night and it has only to deal with my television watching.
1) Very sad Gilles did not win Dancing with the Stars. Shawn was fine but Gilles really deserved it.
2) I'm so very beyond words excited about The Bachelorette's return. I love me some Jillian! I just hope these guys aren't the tools they appear to be. Who are we kidding? Of COURSE they are! If you watch the show, you have to check out Lincee's blog. She writes a recap of the show each week and has for many seasons. She is hilarious!!!
3) Rescue Me and My Boys are having the greatest seasons this year. Laugh out loud funny. Both of them. If you are not watching these shows and have a rather bawdy and off-color sense of humor and are not easily offended, well, you've come home to your shows. If you are easily offended, please let me formally apologize for anything and everything that comes out of my mouth/hand.
4) I don't watch Idol. But, I do usually watch the last couple of episodes to see who won. Having absolutely no emotional ties to either contestant tonight, I firmly believe that the other guy (Adam, maybe?) should have won. He was a far superior singer.

Robot Mom, signing out.

Maybe it WAS the Cheez-its!!!

2009-05-15T14:13:00.003-05:00

Just heard from the doctor! Eva's tumor is STABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That means that there is no new growth and that tiny little smaller than a thumbnail tumor might not ever grow again! YIPPEE!

Here's what it means overall:

Our doctor appointments are now every other month. We scan again in four months.

Next week, I'll schedule Eva's port removal.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

No more Cheez-its!

Tomorrow

2009-05-14T19:58:00.003-05:00

Good evening all!

Just a quick post tonight. Eva has her MRI at 7am tomorrow.

I'm, of course, in panic mode.

You know, I am a very positive person. I always just think good thoughts about everything. But the fact is, when your child is sick, you just have to hope and pray all is well and prepare yourself for bad news.

Eva, of course, is just fine. Running around like a maniac. You would never know this child has ever been ill.

Her mom? Well, every time Eva sweats at night, I think it is cancer. Every time Eva has a diaper rash, I think it is cancer. Every time Eva has a slight fever, I think it is cancer.

I'm really ready for some good news tomorrow so that I can just go back to being the apathetic-non-reactive-stop your whining and suck it up- parent I once was.

I miss her.

Confession Tuesday

2009-05-12T20:20:00.005-05:00

Well, I'm stepping into the confessional for the first time in a while.
*******
I'm writing this while watching the semi-finals of Dancing with the Stars. Gosh, I'll miss that show when it goes off next week. What will I do on Monday and Tuesday nights??

Show is over. Sad to see Ty go home. He gave me some great soundbites, that's for sure!
*******
I just ate my last two Girl Scout Cookies. I have been saving those treasures in the freezer for a while. So, I guess that it will be next year before I get my hands on those Samoas again. Goodbye, delicious caramel, coconut and chocolate on a crisp butter cookie. I shall dream of you until we meet again....
*******
Speaking of dreams, I was having one the other night. I was dreaming that Jon and I were on a bed that was on a conveyor belt. Jon in his sleep was about to roll off the conveyor belt. So, I grabbed him to save him from certain death.

Well...turns out that in reality, Jon was sound asleep in our bed (not on a conveyor belt) and I pounced on him in the middle of the night to "save" him. He told me the next day that after I grabbed him, I just shot up out of bed and stared at him before he coaxed me back to sleep.

It's been a while since I had middle of the night antics but I'm sure they keep Jon on his toes.
*******
My middle of the night antics are almost always stress related. I can't imagine what I have to be stressed about.
*******
I love my son. I mean, honestly just adore him. Just when he drives you to insanity with his neediness and energy, he pulls something like this.

He told me that he was "King of All Butterflies" just before I took this picture.

*******

Oh, man, do I miss New Orleans. I have to say I was pretty depressed as we left the Fairgrounds on the last Sunday. I look so forward to this vacation every single year and when it is over, it just makes me sad.

*******

I saw some awesome music. What is amazing about Fest is how you can plan to go to one stage but pass three incredible stages along the way. It is the surprise music that makes this so fun.

For example, several years ago, I remember passing the Jazz Tent and hearing this amazing kid play a trombone. I stayed, danced, and had a great time. Well, several years later, that "kid", Trombone Shorty, was on the poster for Fest. If you ever have a chance to see him, I highly recommend it.

*******

Let's see. Let me cover the food I ate: conchon de lait (pulled pork sandwich--to die for!), shrimp bun (a fairly new Vietnamese noodle dish that is soooo great), spring rolls from same Vietnamese vendor, crawfish sack, oyster patty, crawfish beignets, crawfish bread and, of course, crawfish monica, a JazzFest staple. I would have covered more territory but did not get to spend as much time eating as I would have liked.

*******
Oh, man, for a brief moment, I was reunited with my boyfriend, Jon Bon Jovi. It was heaven. Yes, I'm wearing my Bon Jovi hat that I purchased at the concert. On the back, it says, "New Jersey". Awesome.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T15:05:00.002-05:00

Hello all, in Cyberland!

I've been on radio silence for a bit because I took a wonderful vacation with my family. We went to the JazzFestival in New Orleans, as I have done for the past 19 years. When I came back, I had a pretty tough week at work so I was pretty drained each night when I came home. Nothing dramatic, just a tough week.

As for the kids and the vacation, well, the kids had a blast.

I have lots of stories to tell and lots of pictures. For now, I'll just give you a brief update on what we've been doing.

Jon and the kids went to New Orleans and Miss for 10 days. Since I had my conference here in Dallas, I met them on Wed night. We stayed until Monday morning when we drove on back to Dallas.

The very second we walked in, Jon trotted off to the potty and to get a shower. I was a little miffed because I wanted him to clean out the car while we still had daylight. I went in to tell him to move it along when I noticed he was not in the shower. It was the toilet overflowing at a rapid rate. Ugh.

Well, $200 and two visits from a plumber later, we discovered that those "flushable" toddler wipes were not so flushable. Something about a "dam" effect (not a "damn" effect as I would say!)
*******
Also breaking this week, our television! We knew it was coming, to be honest. For the last couple of weeks, when you turned it on, it would make a loud "doing" sound. Not good for a tv.

As you can imagine, Jon and I are hardly early adopters when it comes to technology. We got a DVR less than a year ago, before that, we were using vcr tapes. I bought Jon an ipod about 18 months ago and he let it sit in the box for two months before I took it and started loading in music (he loves it now, by the way). In fact, we only have one television and it was over 10 years old AND it was a gift from a friend for our wedding.

So, yesterday, I went to Best Buy just to begin the search. I am a repeat customer there, having bought my previous television from them about 15 years ago. I was like, "so, this plasma thing vs lcd? What gives?" " Um, any of these televisions going to last me 10 years because that's about my threshold."

Jon is off at the store making the final decision on our purchase. We were down to two and I'm not sure which one he decided to go with. Not that I really care, honestly, as long as it works and does not break within the next seven years, I'll be just fine.
*******
Um, let's see, what else. Eva has her MRI scheduled for this Friday. I'm not thinking about it.
*******
Oh, some good news! Star Trek was awesome! If you have some time, definitely check it out.
*******
Finally, Happy Mother's Day to all my mother pals out there. I've had a great day so far. Jon let me sleep in and then made me a delish breakfast. We went out on our TV search and now, I'm just relaxing a bit while Eva sleeps and Jack attempts to not bother me. Yea, Mother's Day!

I do want to say a special Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. While I struggle to juggle two children and their activities, personality quirks/drama, and energy, somehow, my mother managed to raise eight children. I am exhausted to even think about how that is possible.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!

A Plumbing Problem

2009-04-29T02:21:00.004-05:00

I might have mentioned this a time or seven but it seems as if every time Jon goes out of town, something crazy with the house happens and I have to take care of it. You might recall the story of the storm and the tree falling on the carport, or perhaps the "monster in the hamper" incident when a possum some how crawled into my house and into my laundry basket.

Well, here we are, again. Freaky emergency.

Tonight, I had to pack for my big trip to meet my family in New Orleans. I got in all my shows (Dancing with the Stars, My Boys and Rescue Me) and was feeling pretty good about going to bed at 11pm.

Fast forward to 1:30am.

I'm dead asleep. Then, I hear it, gurgle gurgle gurgle water rushing gurgle water rushing, coming from the bathroom.

I leap out of bed and immediately see that the tub and the toilet have water and it is rising. I grab a plunger. No help. I try to use it on the bathtub. No help. I start to run through the house. No liquid plumber. Can't find the snake. UGH! Gurgle gurgle water rushing....

Call Jon. No answer. Call Jon again. No answer. Water rushing gurgle gurgle water rushing.

Stop.

Wha? It suddenly stopped. Water starts to drain from bathtub and from toilet. Ok, bad dream. Go back to bed. Call plumber in the morning.

15 minutes later. Gurgle gurgle gurgle water rushing water rushing. Call Jon. No answer. Darnit Jon where is your phone??? Find the snake. Try to snake the bathtub. No luck. Where is the water cut off? Call Jon. No answer. Must make horrible call to Jon's mother's house phone at 2am. Oh, God. "Um, Phyllis? I'm so sorry to bother you, there's a plumbing emergency. May I speak to Jon?"

Jon gets on the phone. No answers to my problem. No idea where the cut off is. GREAT. Must take trip to CVS at 2am to get liquid plumber. Jon says to call him on his cell when I get back home.

Get back home, liquid plumber goes in. All water gone.

Call Jon. No answer.

Sleep well, honey. I've got it all under control over here.

JazzFest Weekend

2009-04-27T23:38:00.003-05:00

Ok, lots to post today.

Jon and the kids are in New Orleans at the JazzFest. I had a conference here this weekend in Dallas so I stayed behind to work.

Now, before you all think I've lost my mind and missed my FIRST JAZZFEST IN 19 YEARS, not to worry. I'm heading out there on Wednesday. Oh, have I mentioned that Jon Bon Jovi is playing there on Saturday?? YES! BON JOVI IS AT JAZZFEST! Wahoo!!!

Anyhoo, thought I would post a couple of pics that Jon sent to me of the kids. They, of course, went to see the Imagination Movers on Saturday. They loves them some Movers!! Oh, and for those Mom's out there, recognize the gal with the kids?? It's Nina!

Hand and Foot

2009-04-27T23:26:00.006-05:00

Sometimes bad days can just be very well-timed.

Four weeks ago, we had scheduled a gathering with some friends to play Hand and Foot tonight.

For those not in "the know", hand and foot is an awesome card game very simliar to canasta. It is the main source of entertainment for my family when we gather together.

A couple of weeks ago, I taught some friends at our girls weekend away to play. We sat down and played for 7 straight hours. It was so much fun.

As we all sat down to play tonight, I felt very "Desperate Housewives-y" as my girlfriends gathered to gossip, drink wine and play some cards.

Since I had left the office depressed and since I'm at home all by myself (Jon and the kids are in New Orleans at the JazzFest), this diversion really helped pull me out of the funk.

It's so great to have girlfriends. I'm so blessed.

Maybe It Was the Cheez-its

2009-04-27T16:57:00.003-05:00

Well, talked to the doctor today. Turns out that Eva's HVA counts are up. Actually, a pretty big jump from last month . Her VMA counts were down just a bit.

So, what does that mean for those non-NB pals of mine? Well, these are tumor markers. Eva shows whether or not there is cancer present in her body based on these levels. The higher the levels, the more likely there is for tumors.

Good news is that the doctor is not pushing the panic button for now, as the counts are still within normal level. The last time we went through this in June, the counts stayed in "normal" for several months, slowly increasing towards abnormal.

The next step is to have an MRI, which we already scheduled for early May.

Another piece of good news is that it may be nothing. These tests can react to food that you eat. It is not likely that they will jump so high as a result of food, but hey, at this point, I'm going to hold on to anything.

Keeping Eva away from those Cheez-its.

Another Angel

2009-04-12T09:34:00.004-05:00

I'm in NC today with my family for Easter. I sat down this morning to write a post about Easter and all the antics of the kids today.

Before I started writing, I went to check on a neuroblastoma friend Erin only to discover that God has another angel.

I have been following Erin and her amazing story ever since we entered this crazy world a year or so ago.

Erin was gorgeous, brave, hilarious and had the happiest smile you have ever seen.

On this Holiest of days, please keep Erin in your prayers as she makes her way to her new home.
Erin, thank you for gracing those of us who knew you with your wonderful personality. I, for one, will never forget you.

Monsters vs. Aliens

2009-04-05T22:03:00.005-05:00

Spent an awesome weekend away with the gals camping in East TX.

When I got home, I had planned to take Jack to see Monsters vs Aliens. Like my BFF, Jana, who also took her kids today, I had reservations about taking Jack to a PG movie at age 5. But, they were really marketing this to a young audience and I had done lots of internet and personal research to see if people thought it was appropriate for Jack's age. Everything I heard said yes. Additionally, it was a movie about Monsters and Aliens, two of Jack's favorite topics.

So, off we went to the 3-D version. I was really excited because I thought that Jack would think the 3-D was incredibly cool. That, he did. I don't know I'll ever forget his excitement when it started and things were just popping out all over the place.

As for the movie, well, it was definitely PG for a reason. Some of the jokes were potty driven and thankfully, Jack did not get them. Some other jokes were definitely aimed at adults and were hilarious. Some of the situations were a bit grown up for Jack, too. For example, at one point, the main character referred to her ex as a "selfish jerk." I groaned.

It was pretty action-packed in 3-D. So, when the giant choppers were trying to kill the main character as she was dangling off the Golden Gate Bridge, Jack had to sit in my lap. In addition, at one point, you thought a character was killed and that was tough for me to explain to Jack.

I will say that although he was pretty scared much of the time, when it was over, he could not stop talking about how much he loved it. We went out to dinner, just the two of us, and he just went on and on about how much he liked it. I asked him his favorite part, he said, "everything."

Bottom line? If you have kids under the age of 6 or so, you might want to see the movie first and decide for yourself if you think your child would like it. It might be just fine for your child. Jack really liked it but in retrospect, I probably would have held off and maybe rented it.

Test Results

2009-03-30T16:33:00.003-05:00

Got the word this afternoon that the test results were normal!

For those NB folks who know what this means:
Her HVA count was 15.6 up slightly from last month of 12.8 but still well within range of <22. Her VMA was 5.4 down slightly from last month of 6.6 also still within range of <11.

Of course the HVA increase scared me to death but I'm assured that it can fluctuate like blood work. Now, if we are showing an increase for next month, then, that's a trend we should be worried about.

For now, I'll just be happy that we still "normal."

The plan is that we will do this again April 20. If that is "normal" and not showing an increase, we will stick with the plan to do an MRI in May. If that shows good results, we'll remove the port.

Yippee!!

St. Baldrick's Day

2009-03-29T13:31:00.006-05:00

Well, what a day we had yesterday participating in St. Baldrick's Day!

First, I want to thank all the folks who either donated to us, came out to support Jon and sent encouraging notes to Jon. We were overwhelmed by it all!

Secondly, I want to thank the folks at Trinity Hall Irish Pub for hosting this event for the 6th year. As many of you know, we spend lots of time at Trinity Hall with the kids. The food is great and it is very family friendly. So, for us to be able to participate in such a great event AND have it at our "home pub", that was just a bonus.

One other thing. In addition to just being a great family place, the wait staff donated ALL their tips from St. Patrick's Day to St. Baldrick's Day event. Can you imagine how much they would make in an Irish Pub on St. Patty's Day? Should tell you alot about what kind of place it is.

On to the event!

We got there. Jon was excited and nervous. It was CROWDED with head shavers and supporters.

Here's something very funny. When Jon was up, they had shaved about 2/3 of his head and I'm not kidding, the power went out. In the WHOLE complex! We had no idea how long it would be out and how long Jon would have this patch on his head! It was hilarious. But, Jon handled it like the champ he is and took it all in stride. I could not stop laughing, of course!

Anyway, here are some of the pics from the day. A special thank you to Will Montgomery who took a bunch of these with his fancy camera and way better photographic eye. His look MUCH better than mine!! Thank you!!!

When we first arrived.

Jon and Eva in the chair.

Here's where we were when the power went out.

Jon gets into his new look!

Some of our friends who came out to support us!

That's it. It was a great day all in all. I managed to not sob openly but did cry just a bit here and there. I'm hoping no one noticed. :) As for my new hot bald hubby, we're going to get Jon some Doc Martens to complete his look. I think the event hit their goal of $150,000 for pediatric cancer research.

One final thing. Tomorrow, we get test results on Eva's montly cathecholemines so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. And, if you have a moment, please give some encouragement to our NB friends, Erin and her mom. Erin is such a light and is having a bit of a rough time. Please do cheer her on.

Eva and Her Hair

2009-03-28T20:32:00.002-05:00

I'm going to write about our awesome St. Baldrick's Day a bit later. I just had to post this as I'm on my way out.

I've often said that the one thing that I will be happy with Eva's hair growing out is that people will stop thinking she's a boy. I think that the short hair becomes her and makes her look a bit like a "bad a**" but often people are shocked when they hear she's a girl. I say things like, she's wearing pink shoes? Why would you think she's a boy?

Anyway, back to tonight.

We went out to dinner tonight at one of our favorite german restaurants. I have to say, Eva was a riot. There was an accordian player and Eva demanded that we dance and clap to every song. We were having such a nice time.

As we were starting to leave, I took Eva to the restroom. As I was coming out, this woman was coming in and stopped me.

She said, "How old is he?"

I said, "Oh, she's 2.5yrs"

Woman: "She's a girl?"

Me: "Yes."

Woman with a snarl: "Let her hair grow out!"

Me in shock also with a snarl: "She has cancer. I am letting her hair grow out."

She just stood there. I mean, I have never been so satisified to tell someone that my kid had cancer. Serves her right to tell folks how to cut their children's hair.

The great irony? She had short hair.

Grrrrrrrr.

Two Bald Men and a Fuzz Girl

2009-03-25T20:13:00.002-05:00

Jack is obsessed with the fact that Jon is shaving his head on Saturday. It is all he wants to talk about.

Yesterday, he would not let go the fact that he wanted to shave his head, too, on Saturday. After spending lots of energy trying to talk him out of it, I just finally said, fine, Jack. Of course, I know full well that as soon as Saturday rolls around, he will have forgotten it.

Jack then just follows me around the house talking about how excited he is that he will shave his head.

Finally, he comes running up to me and we had this exchange:

Jack: "Mommy! Mommy! We have to go to dinner on Friday night!!!"

Me: "Why?"

Jack: "No one will let us in a restaurant on Saturday night!!"

Me: "Why not, honey?"

Jack: "Because we'll be two bald men and a fuzz girl!! Who will let us eat in their restaurant??"

For some reason, that struck me as a funny name for a new sitcom. Anyone work for NBC?

Why Jon is Awesome

2009-03-22T11:57:00.002-05:00

Last night, long before we had flaming cocktails at Trader Vic's to celebrate my birthday, Jon agreed to have his head shaved for St. Baldrick's Day.

For those not familiar, St. Baldrick's Day is a day where folks shave their heads and raise money in honor of a child with cancer.

Since we have one of those in our house, Jon thought he would participate.

If you are around next Saturday, please join us at Trinity Hall Irish Pub around 11:00. We'll be there to cheer Jon on and have some lunch before Jack's soccer game at 1pm. If you can't make it and would like to donate, you may do so here.

Thank you, all, for your support.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-03-20T08:13:00.003-05:00

Dearest Me,

I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday today.

Me, you bring such joy to my heart and I'm so thankful that you are around. Oh, I think I'm going to tear up from the happiness that you bring. I mean, everyone says it all the time, you are the best!

I mean, me, where would I be without you? I shell of a human being, that's who!

A very happy birthday, dear me. I hope that you have a wonderful day.

Love,
Me

Confession Tuesday

2009-03-17T22:02:00.008-05:00

Well, a happy St. Patrick's Day to you all! I hope that those who are embracing the green beer are having fun. I'm sure that none of those people are reading this right now. If you are, put the computer away! Do not drink and email! I've done it. It is not pretty!!

*******

Here we are another week down. I had a great week this week because my sister came to town! Wahoo! I took off a half a day on Friday so that we could just hang out together and celebrate our birthdays, which are three days apart. With five kids between us (mostly hers) and one on the way (hers, again), it was so nice to not have to be mommies for about nine hours and just be us. We went to the movies, went to Sephora, walked around and looked purses we could not afford, it was awesome.

*******

On Saturday, we went to the Dallas St. Patrick's Day parade. It was quite interesting, let me say. Overall, we did have a great time and cracked up at the cleverness of some of the floats. One of my best girlfriends was in the parade with her roller derby team which was awesome and very fun to see. Eva and Jack loved to catch those beads. Eva wore every bead that she caught and had quite a collection at the end of it!

*******

Only one slight damper set me over the edge, I must say. On Monday I fired off a letter to the City Councilwoman, Angela Hunt, who is in charge of that district, regarding something that was attached to a set of beads one of the floats threw to my five-year old son and my two-year old daughter. I won't go into it because I might get fired up, again. Let's just say that I was really hoping to put off the "what are those?" discussions with Jack for a bit longer. Councilwoman Hunt kind of blew me off but I'm not finished yet. I've written a letter to the newspaper.

*******

I changed my profile picture for the first time in almost two years. I have a facebook page that I change quite regularly but for some reason, I've kept this same picture here. But, I thought, hey, Eva is almost in college, I should probably update the kids. Maybe someday, I'll have someone draw a really cool picture of me with the kids and I'll just use that forever more. I mean, the Simpsons don't get old, why should my kids?

*******

Jack and Eva are on spring break this week. This has caused many challenges. 1) How do I get Jack out of the house for a couple of hours each day so that my nanny does not quit? 2) How do I get Jack out of the house for a couple of hours each day so that Eva will not be seriously injured? 3) How do I get Jack out of the house for a couple of hours each day and wear him down so that he'll sleep at night? At the last minute, I signed him up for a local swim camp for the week. He loves it and it wears his toushie out. Everybody wins!

*******

I turn 39 on Friday. Now, I know that age is just a number and that I'm very youthful in spirit and I still stay up too late, dance my bottom off, and drink way too much for my age but the other day, when I said it out loud to someone, I could hardly believe it. Where did my 30's go?

It seems like five minutes ago that I threw my own 30th birthday party at Dyda's house. I had so many good friends there. Maybe it is not that I'm struggling with the actual number. Maybe I'm just struggling with the passage of time. I feel great. I'm happy in my life. With the exception of the fact that only my darling hairdresser really knows the extent of my grey (it's a lot), I think I look pretty young. I just can't believe all that happened in my 30's.

Here's a brief recap:

-Started dating my husband

-Got engaged five months later in Paris

-Traveled to India, Australia, Japan and Korea all by myself with meeting various friends/family members along the way

-Moved to Texas (cannot still believe I live so far from the coast!)

-Got married

-Did a bunch of more traveling (love those AA bene's!!!)

-Had Jack

-Did more traveling

-Had Eva

-Stopped traveling

-Eva got sick

-Eva got better

-Turned 39

That's quite a decade! Well, I guess I'll just embrace it. Come on 39! That only gives me one year to plan the 40th birthday blow out!! Time is ticking away and heaven only knows, it sure does go fast!!

Happy Birthday Sis!

2009-03-17T19:01:00.003-05:00

Elmo and Ricky Gervais???

2009-03-12T23:09:00.000-05:00

Why does this make me laugh so hard???

Calm Within a Storm

2009-03-11T19:19:00.002-05:00

I'm so happy to have my house back after the great plumbing debacle.

This weekend, it was 80 degrees and sunny. Today? Not so much. I got up for work today at 0-dark-thirty. I could hear it was raining outside but because it is still so dark with the time change, I had no idea how hard it was coming down. I found out pretty quick.

A bit ago, Jon and I removed our gutters from the back of the house. We noticed that the wood was rotting and we wanted to hire someone to replace all the wood and hang new gutters. That work is set to begin next week. With no gutters, the rain just pours off the roof and on to my head. Good morning, Goodnight Mom!

So, back to the home repairs.

The past 10 days reminds me of a song....
We called a man to fix the house, what oh what a house, why would you grouse? We pumped out the water so we could kill spiders, who wiggled and jiggled inside her, we killed the spiders to fix the pipes, I don't know why, she swallowed a fly....perhaps she'll die.....

It is never good when you are at your desk at work and your father sends a text message that reads: "How do you know that you will need a second mortgage to pay your plumbing bill? Answer: You have three trucks and five plumbers." Crap.

I called the guy and he said in all of his 20 years, he had never seen such rotted pipes. ALL PIPES IN THE HOUSE! Rotted out. Now, we have had plumbers over to the house MANY times. No one once said that our pipes were rotted out. We knew there was a problem, we kept smelling things. So, we would call American Home Shield, (the worst investment ever, by the way!) but they just kept telling us the smell was dead animals down there. The animal story made sense because we often see critters running about. But, when this plumber that we hired ourselves NOT from AHS showed me the photographs, you cannot imagine what I saw.

The problem with this whole thing, other than the money we had to shell out unexpectedly, is that this took away our kitchen sink and washing machine for 10 days. Oh, and I had 80 people attending Jack's birthday party with no sink! Oh, and my parents were coming to stay! Somehow I managed to make the cupcakes and my folks only had to go to the laundromat once, but still, my house was a wreck.

The bottom line is that we now have all new pipes under the house AND as an added bonus, my house does not stink! YIPPEE!

Our new favorite plumber did have some news for us. Our duct work has fallen apart and needs to be replaced. Oh, and we need a kitchen sink. Oh, and our dryer isn't installed to code. Oh, and don't forget those gutters!! Cha-Ching!!!

That's ok. I'm not burning down the house just yet (but thank you for the suggestion, dear reader!)

I'm just relaxing this week. Jack's party is over. I have my house back for a bit until phase 2 of the repairs begins next week. My sister heads to Dallas tomorrow afternoon for a restful babymoon (hers--baby #4 on the way!)

Tonight, I'll relax, go to bed and listen to the rain pour off the side of the house....ahhhhhh.

Jack's Birthday Party

2009-03-08T22:21:00.005-05:00

I'm so tired, I can hardly type. I have been working late nights forever to plan Jack's birthday party today.

It was supposed to be a party in the park. Unfortunately, all week long and even up until Thursday, the weather called for storms. I called my pal at the White Rock YMCA and asked if we could have the party there. He was so generous to let us do it.

Well, as it turned out, it was 80 degrees and sunny, of course. Since we had already made the decision to move it, we stuck with it.

We had over 80 people RSVP! The theme of the party was robots. By the way, if I had any ability to design any party ware, it would be of robots. No one makes anything. This sadly meant that I had to do my own design work. As you faithful readers know, this can either be great or hilariously bad. Mostly hilariously bad. You can decide for yourself. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

I had this harebrained idea that I would make "robot" cupcakes using cake cones. I was up until 2am making these bad boys.

Here are some shots of the party. I had several stations set up. The kids could make robot costumes from paper bags and some alien spaceships.

and have their picture taken in an adorable robot box that one of my co-workers painted for me.

As party favors, I made t-shirts for the kids. My girlfriend's kids were kind enough to model them for me!

All in all, it was a good day. We had so many kids running about. Jack got some amazing presents, too! We're so fortunate to have so many folks who care about him!

I really hope that Jack had a good weekend. Between the Imagination Movers on Saturday and this great party today, I think that he did. Now, Mommy can rest for a bit. I've got my birthday on the horizon!

Why I (Heart) the Imagination Movers

2009-03-07T19:07:00.003-06:00

Today, we went to see the Imagination Movers in concert. I sent them a note asking them if they would give a shout out to Jack for his birthday. They wrote back and told me that they wanted us to come to the meet and greet! I was so excited as I knew it would be so special for the kids.

Anyway, today went great. The concert was fantastic. We went with my parents and our dear friends the Sara and William.

After the show, the kids were blown away by the surprise! We got to visit with them for a few minutes and they were so kind to the kids.

Eva hugged Mover Scott so many times. She loved him. When we left, she turned back to them and yelled, "I LOVE YOU MOVERS!!" It was so great.

Happy 5th Birthday Jack!

2009-03-04T07:28:00.004-06:00

Today, my little one turns 5!

The teacher sent home this note to ask us to write just two memories for each year of Jack's life for her to read to the class today. Here's what we said:

Birth to one year

Jack was born one week early at 12:48pm. He was 8lb and 12 oz and 20 inches long. He got his first passport at four weeks and went to France, Germany, and England, as well as New Orleans and North Carolina all before he was 3 months old! Jack did not like to crawl so he started walking at 10 months!

One year to two years

Jack spoke more spanish than english when he started talking. Jack talked a lot and very early. Whenever he said the word, "Baa", that meant that he wanted to watch The Wiggles.

Two years to three years

Jack saw his first movie in the theatre. It was "Cars". Jack loved to do somersaults on the balance beam at the Little Gym. Jack became a big brother to Eva.

Three years to four years

Jack joined the Grasshoppers, his first soccer team and played two seasons. Jack went to Philadelphia and saw Constitution Hall and the Liberty Bell (which Jack called the Delivery Bell).

Four years to five years

Jack celebrated his fourth birthday at DisneyWorld. Goofy danced around the restaurant with his cake. He also got to fight Darth Vader with a light sabre. Jack is a very funny person and is a great joke teller. He makes us laugh all the time.

I could go on all day about how great Jack is and how lucky I am to be his Mommy. I'll just say, a very Happy Birthday to my little Baby Duck!!!! I love you so much!!!!

Confession Tuesday

2009-03-03T22:19:00.002-06:00

Good evening!

Well, I'm finally sitting down for the evening. What a day! Tonight, I came home and had to hit the laundromat. What, you say? Yep, we're back on the laundromat trail.

Here's what happened. Our house started splitting. I mean cracks became VERY wide. So, we called a foundation person. They came out and said that our problem was not the foundation but the standing water that we had. So, we called a plumber. Plumber said, yep, standing water. Apparently, our sink and our washing machine basically just dump under the house, thus the movement. The plumber said that he could not fix our problem because as he said we have "Indiana Jones" spiders under the house. Spiders?? So, I called our exterminator to come. He said that he could not come until the standing water was gone because of the compound that he uses. The plumber had to come pump out the water and now we're waiting to dry. For one week, we have not had a kitchen sink or a washing machine. You don't even want to know what we're doing over here!

Scary part? We're all walking on top of a colony of spiders...creepy!
*******
Tomorrow, my baby boy turns 5. I don't know what to say about that because every time I think of it, I start crying. Five just seems like a big boy. You know? Not a little one but a 5 year old! Uh, oh. Waterworks.
*******
Even though I believe that he is really happy, I'm still mad at The Bachelor.
*******
Jack told me yesterday that he wished that I had a beard. I'm just thankful that I don't (yet).
*******
I'm having a HUGE birthday party for Jack at a local park. We've rented a covered park area. Just found out that it is supposed to rain on Sunday. Crap.
*******
Speaking of Jack's birthday, I have such an amazing surprise for him. We've got tickets to the Imagination Movers on Saturday for him. I wrote them to ask them if they would give Jack a shout-out for his birthday. They told me that they wanted for us to come backstage for the meet and greet! Jack will be so excited! Oh, and Eva, I just don't know what she will do! She will love it! I'm so happy that we can do this for them!
*******
My parents are coming! My parents are coming! My parents are coming!
*******
I saw The Women (the new one) on Sunday. First, let me say that The Women (the original) is one of my all time favorite movies. While I often hate remakes, I was willing to give this one a try. I mean, it had a decent cast. Oh my goodness, was that painful. PAINFUL! I'm so sorry if you loved this movie, but I could barely get through it. For those The Women lovers, please rent the original 1939 version. Rosalind Russell is a classic.
*******
That's it. Nothing really exciting here. Just a bunch of water and spiders.

An Interview with Jack, age (almost) 5

2009-03-01T08:09:00.004-06:00

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
I love you

2. What makes mommy happy?
When I give you kisses

3. What makes mommy sad?
When I disobey you

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
By tickling me

5. What was your mommy like as a child?
A sister

6. How old is your mommy?
38

7. How tall is your mommy?
3 inches taller than daddy

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Hang out with me

9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Mop the floors (Ok, I do this once per month and I put a floor shine on. I always send the kids away with Jon to do this. Today happened to be the day)

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Getting people around you

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Cooking (ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!)

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Doing art (Boy, is he right on that one!)

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Work at the YMCA

14. What is your mommy's favorite food?
Matzo ball soup (What? I only eat this when I’m sick!)

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
You’re a good hugger

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Princess Lea from Star Wars (Jack made me write that she was from Star Wars)

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Play

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We’re both Catholic

19. How are you and your mommy different?
I’m a boy and you’re a girl

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Because you give me hugs all the time

21. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
In the room right here with me

What a Year, Holy Crap!!

2009-02-28T11:45:00.005-06:00

I'm sitting here in the house as Jon took the kids over to his sister's house for breakfast (hmm, it's nearly noon, already?)

Anyway, I stayed behind because I wanted to polish our floors. As I was putting down coat #3 of the worlds greatest floor product, Holloway House Quick Shine. I was thinking about the day and what we were going to do with the rest of it.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Today is February 28. It was one year ago today that Eva had her seizure in the doctor's office that sent us into a dizzying array of the world that we know now. I cannot even believe that it has been a year.

I remember it so well. Eva felt warm when I went to work. We had a staff meeting and I mentioned that I had to take her to the doctor later that afternoon because I did not want her to have the flu for a second time that month.

I had no idea the direction that I was heading that afternoon.

It's strange, when I was in the hospital with Eva the other day, most of the staff who were there, were there either the night that Eva came in the first time or the afternoon when Jack came in two days later. They all came in to talk to me about it. I told them that I could not believe that they remembered us from a year ago. The doctor told me that there are some families that they do not forget and we were one of them. They had gathered around and recounted that night and the subsequent Saturday from their perspective.

They mentioned seeing Eva toddling around (she was 16 mos at the time). Someone mentioned that she had on her Elmo dress (she did). Then, they told me that they all knew before the doctor told me. They had all seen the x-rays with the giant tumor but wanted to remain positive before they took us back for the CT to verify exactly what it was. One of the nurses told me that in all of his days, he'll never forget hearing me sob and hyperventilate from that room (funny, I won't forget that either!)

Another nurse and our doctor were the ones who were there when Jack came in. They, of course, jumped in with stories about that day and how in shock we all seemed to be.

I guess when we look back at it, we have to focus on all the blessings of the year. I mean, I have the most amazing memories of the past 366 days (LY was a leap year, remember?) :

All the outpouring of support from this blog and from my friends and colleagues
All the new friends I have made in this tiny circle of NB
Having such an amazing husband and son who just move along with every change
Having such a wonderful family who just pitched in at every turn to help us

The thing I am most blessed for, I would have to say, is watching my little Eva weather this storm with such strength and determination. I ordered a shirt for her that I'm hoping will come in in the next couple of days. I saw it when we were in Disney World last year but did not get it. It has much more meaning now. It is a picture of Yoda with a light saber and it says, "Judge me by my size, do you?" The world has to look out for this little one, trust.

Thank you all so much for your support for us over the past year. I don't know how I would have made it without you.

Confession Tuesday

2009-02-24T14:30:00.003-06:00

It's Mardi Gras!

Well, I won't do like I did last year with the themed confessional. Even THOUGH I actually attended Mardi Gras for the first time last weekend! But, it's time for the confessional!
*******
I did not win the Oscars contest this year. I did not lose, that award goes to Jana. Joseph had this uncanny way of picking all the "small" categories like documentary, animated short, live action short, etc. Does Joseph work for PWC and we don't know it???

JoJo, I'll be sending you your trophy. Don't you worry.
*******
Hotmail has allowed us to change our backgrounds for our email. I picked the robots.
*******
MY NANNY IS BACK! MY NANNY IS BACK! After a two week absence for a family emergency, she's back! I'm so happy I don't know what to do. You know what makes me the most happy (well, besides having to not scramble for childcare!)? I won't have to do things like send Jack to school with dirty underwear turned inside out because after working 14 hour days, I had not managed to get the laundry done. WAHOO!
*******
I'm going to give up Diet Coke as my lenten sacrifice. For those who know me personally, this is a major, I mean, major sacrifice. AND my wonderful hubby just purchased a 24 pack that will just sit there taunting me for the next 40 days. Maybe I'll chug a bunch of it tonight. That should not keep me up and wired AT ALL. Beloved Diet Coke, I shall miss thee...
*******
Speaking of awake and wired, last night, Eva would not go to sleep. I let her squirm in her bed (I mean, try to fall asleep) until 9pm or so (aka the end of the Women Tell All episode of The Bachelor). Although, she had eaten a huge dinner, she told me that she was hungry (when is she not? she eats like a teenage boy, no kidding). So, I brought her in the den where Jon and I were watching Sunday's Amazing Race. Don't know if you saw this episode but at one point, there was a challenge to throw cream cakes in the partner's faces until you found the cherry filling. I swear, Eva thought this was the funniest thing she had EVER seen. I got more enjoyment from watching her laugh at this than I can ever say. She was literally rolling on the floor laughing in her usual unintelligible babbling. It was like this, "babble babble babble CAKE!!!! ha ha ha!!!!! Mommy! Mommy! Babble babble babble CAKE!!!!" I'm so scared to see what will happen the next time we have cake at dinner.
*******
Happy Mardi Gras!!!

The Oscars--Again!

2009-02-22T15:05:00.006-06:00

Well, it's Oscars night, again!

I'm terribly excited, as usual. Not only because I will lose my last place trophy to another competitor (Jana, JoJo and Al, you're going down!) but that I might actually EARN the top prize which I forgot to mail to Jana last year!

Good news, Jana, you won't have to mail it to me! I've got it right her in its rightful place on my mantle. Same as last year!

The Best Laid Plans...

2009-02-21T13:10:00.003-06:00

This weekend, I had great plans to go visit my new nephew, James. I have not met him and was soooo excited.

Alas, someone had other plans.

I got home from work and Jack had FIVE days of smiley faces from school (for the first time--woop woop!) I had promised him that the first time we got five days of smiley faces I would buy him a present.

So, Jack and I go off to get his celebratory present. Jon calls. Eva has a fever. Crap.

We called the doctor. I was pretty sure that this was not a port infection that it was probably something like the flu. But, since she has the port, all fevers require a trip to the ER.

Turns out that Eva has pneumonia. Not the really bad kind that lands you in the hospital for a week, thankfully, but the kind that makes you go home and take breathing treatments for several days.

Today, she's back to her normal self. She's a bit tired because we were at the ER until 12:30am but beyond that, she's fine. I'm counting my blessings!

Now, to figure out a time to get my hands on that baby!!!!

Confession Tuesday

2009-02-17T20:08:00.006-06:00

Hi all!

Well, thought I would post a couple of quick thoughts for the day.
*******
I'm still coming down off of the news that we got for Eva. I have to say, I was FULLY expecting to hear that the tumor was growing. I can pray and hope all day long that it goes well but honestly, the way things had been going, I was just prepared for some bad news. Then, it came. the good news. The tumor is shrinking all on its own! I still can't believe my ears. What fantastic and happy news!!!!

The plan is to rescan her in May but to check her cathecolemines in a couple of weeks. If the test is normal, we'll stick with the May plan. If we have to scan her before then, well, we'll just make do.

As I've mentioned, tumors grow so quickly. So, we'll know pretty fast if one is growing. Here's to hoping.

For now, I'm floating for sure.
*******
Well, we've been sooo busy around here. First of all, let me start by saying this is my busiest time at work. We are in the middle of our annual campaign (my entire reason for having employment) and I'm swamped. It's going very well, though and we're more than halfway there. I'm just putting in tons of hours. Last week, I worked fourteen hours a day for three days. Ugh.
*******
In addition, I have been sick off and on for a couple of weeks. Jon has been awesome supporting me for the past couple of weeks while I was sick. I don't know what I would have done without him to be there to help!
*******
Speaking of Jon, we had a great time at the school auction. As you might have read, I had some "issues" with my hair! So, I did the best thing I could think of, I bought a hat! Here we are on the way to the auction.

*******
We had a great time. I'm not kidding. We had a great table filled with FUN people. As a matter of fact, we closed the gala down and then went out with our very FUN table. We got some great stuff including a rocking chair decorated by Eva's teacher with all the songs that Eva sings at school. I love it so much. Eva likes to sit in it and rocks back and forth singing her little songs. That was worth it right there!
*******
The other day, I was riding behind a truck. The name of the company was "Amen Gutters". Their tag? "Gutters that last until Jesus comes back." That's SOME guarantee! I mean, really, how much are you going to need those gutters, anyway, after Jesus comes?
*******
I thought it was really important to make sure that Jack knew my cell number.

Here's the problem. Jack calls me nonstop. The messages usually go something like this, "Hi Mom, I miss you. I love you. You're the best. BOOTY BUTT! POOPY HEAD!!" and then some rather foul noises. This is followed by hysterical laughter and then a hang up.

What do I do with that???
******
I had a great Valentine's Day. Usually, Jon and I do not really do much for that holiday. Usually, for me, it's just JANA'S BIRTHDAY!!!! more than anything. But, my hubby called his BFF Neil and we headed to their house in New Orleans for the weekend kids in tow to celebrate early Mardi Gras.

I have to say first, that we BARELY made the flight. I got home from work and went to grab the kids to throw them in the car to head to the airport. Then, I saw it. All the clothes that I had carefully packed were thrown all over the house. Jack had decided to repack the bag with only pajama tops and his lizard/alligator costume.

Now, I had exactly fifteen minutes to find everything and repack before the flight left. I cannot even still believe that we made it and I did as well as I did.

Here's the list of things that I did miss:

-Each of us only had one pair of shoes, the ones we had on when we boarded the plane.
-I forgot the camera and had to rely on my friends to take pics.
-I brought only one shirt, the one I had on when I boarded the airplane.
-I did not have any pull ups for Jack to wear at night.

Thank heaven God made Walmart. Bought the kids some fake crocs, me some shirts, Jack some pull ups and we were off.

I deserve some major organization awards for that!
*******
We had SUCH a blast! I mean, SUCH A BLAST!

Now, let me just dispel anything you might think about Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Ok, maybe Mardi Gras weekend is exactly what you think it might be. Jon told me that the weekend before Mardi Gras was super kid friendly and that they would love it. I was skeptical, having never been there and thinking I was going to have to grab my children and run from shirt-lifting-vomiting-co-eds. Not so.

Apparently, uptown IS very family friendly. I tell you, those New Orleanians have it right. They make it fun for everyone. You want drunk? Go to the French Quarter. You want your kids to have a blast? Stay uptown. And, stay uptown, we did.

They caught beads. They caught stuffed animals. They caught cups. They caught doubloons. They yelled at the horses, danced with the bands and screamed, "Throw me something, Mister!!!" Like nobody's business.

I thought that Eva would just think it was ok. You know, I always underestimate her and her fun factor. The music from the marching bands start, Eva just jumps up and down and dances. Eva had so many beads on her, she could barely walk but she would not allow you to take off ONE strand.

Here are a couple of pics of the weekend. I let Jack keep his lizard/alligator costume.

Shrinking is the Opposite of Growing

2009-02-13T14:57:00.000-06:00

So, I've heard! Yes, got Eva's MRI results today. Eva's tumor is shrinking!!!!!!

WAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

AND NO NEW GROWTH!!!!!

More to come!

Today's MRI

2009-02-13T05:38:00.003-06:00

I'm off this morning to take Eva for her MRI. I heard last night from the GOOD anesthesiologist (yeah) that he was going to do her procedure.

I'm going in very hopeful that all is well. We got news yesterday that her catecholemine test (that urine test that detects cancer markers) was normal. It could still be normal and we could see growth of that tumor but for now, I'm hoping that is just the case.

Just an aside, as I only have a moment this morning. I've been meaning to write all week. I have lots of photos from the auction, which I will post this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, my wonderful hubby has arranged for a Valentine's Day spectacular! We're heading to New Orleans to Mardi Gras this evening. WAHOO! I can't wait!

That's just a bit of random notes. More later.

The Pin Curl

2009-02-07T16:35:00.003-06:00

Tonight, we are going to a party for my children's school. The theme is 1940's. So, I get this dress, I'm all set for tonight. One final touch, the hair.

Last night, Jon went out to a concert. I decided to invite my girlfriend over after we put our kids to bed to come, drink some wine and work on our hair.

We go online and all we see? Pin curls. Everywhere. Step by step pin curls. Oh, this is easy we say, as we drink more wine and roll our hair. According to the photos and instructions, when you take the pins out, with the twist of a wrist, you get this gorgeous wavy well constructed hair.

So, I went to bed with a head full of bobby pins and tied up in a do-rag. This morning, I woke up so excited! A twist of the wrist and this is what I had!

I giant afro!!!

Thank god I live in 2009!

The Ugh, and The Double Ugh.

2009-02-05T22:27:00.007-06:00

The Ugh
Hi everyone! Well on Sunday, I had this great post written about the weekend and all the fun activites the kids had been doing. I was beat after the Super Bowl, so I thought I would just write it on Monday when I got home from work.

Well, the best laid plans as they say...

Was sitting at lunch for my boss' birthday on Monday. Suddenly, I felt freezing. I asked everyone at the table if they, too, were cold. They looked at me like I had four heads. Then, the achiness started. That's when I knew I was toast.

By 3:30, I had the chills and my legs suddenly weighed 500 lbs each.

For the next two days, my fever ranged anywhere from 100.8-102.4. I was freezing. I was sweating. I hurt everywhere.

I went to the doctor and found out that I did not have the flu but rather a bacterial infection. I begged him to make me better faster. So, rather than taking 10 days worth of antibiotics, he gave me a shot and a zpack.

Today, I am back to normal. Just in time for Eva's MRI tomorrow.

The Double Ugh
The doctor wanted to do an MRI on Eva six weeks post-chemo. That was actually last week but since we could not get an appointment, we got the "sweet" appointment of 7:ooam tomorrow.

The thing is when you have these MRI's, you get assigned an anesthesiologist and you don't find out who that person is until the night before.

So, tonight, guess who calls me? SENIOR MOMENT LADY! You all might remeber she's the one that one time delayed us three hours and Eva came out with emersion dementia. Then, we unluckily had her again and guess what? Five hour delay and 45 minutes of screaming Eva hell (aka emersion dementia part 2).

I just blew a gasket. I called and tried to find out if someone else could take her tomorrow and they cannot. So, we have to cancel and reschedule for next week.

I am so upset. I have been worried sick on the edge of my seat for weeks worried about Eva's tumor growth. Now, we have to wait until next week and just hope that we don't get assigned the same person! This is just miserable!

Anyway, we're all fine here beyond that. I'm just really bummed tonight so not such a happy bouncy post. I'll have more of those this weekend, I'm sure.

Quickie

2009-01-29T07:27:00.003-06:00

Good morning!

Well, I had planned this big post since I had not written much in a week or so. HOWEVER, I completely passed out last night at 9:30. Just sitting in a chair. Out like a light.

So, here's my morning post!

Went to the doctor yesterday. Our course of treatment says that we do an MRI every three months. He did not want to wait that long, given this tumor that is sitting there that we can't remove. So, we're doing one next week.

I'll be on pins and needles, of course, until then but I just have to hope that all will be well.

The Inauguration

2009-01-20T21:58:00.004-06:00

As I'm sitting in my writing chair in my den, I just can't sum up what today means for me and our country. I have just turned off the Inauguration that I watched for the second time today.

Let me begin by saying that this post is not about politics. The fact is that I don't talk much about politics here or in person as I believe, just as I believe about religion, that it is a personal choice.

This afternoon, my colleagues and I gathered in a conference room to watch the Inauguration. We were together, all from different backgrounds, races, religions, political beliefs, socio-economic status, but unified in our captivation of what we were witnessing today. What a great day for our country!

Seeing the passion in the eyes of those fortunate enough to witness it in person, feeling so much pride in my country, I was overwhelmed with emotion.

I was watching all the hoopla leading up to the swearing in. All the references to Lincoln, all the shots of the Lincoln Memorial and for a moment, my mind wandered a bit. It went back in time to 1989.

I was 19 years old and getting ready to move to Georgia from Virginia away from the only home I had ever known. My father had accepted a new job in Savannah and off we were all going. Away from my friends and extended family. On to a new life.

As a bit of a send-off, my two best friends and I went to Washington, DC for the day as we had done many times before. These two folks had become my sister and brother in the years we had known each other. We were an inseparable trio having met at work as teens and then gone to college together. Our other friends often referred to us as The Triad. These two people knew all my secrets.

That trip, we went to DC to shop at Tysons Corner, walk around The Mall and see the Smithsonian's. That evening, because we were too poor to get a hotel room (and had spent all our money on shopping and eating!), we had planned to head back to Norfolk when it got dark.

We went for a walk that night to the Lincoln Memorial and sat down to chat. We talked about life and where we thought it would take us. We laughed about the memories we had together and cried knowing that life would not be the same after I moved away.

We talked about how fortunate we were as friends to be living in that time and how thankful we were for those like Lincoln who went before us. As it was, even as recent as 20 years earlier, the time we were born, it would have been difficult, if not impossible, for us to have been friends. We are a white woman, a black woman and an asian man. My sister and brother.

Hours and hours passed. We talked until the sun came up and we knew we had to return home. It was time for me to pack for my big move. Time for me to move on to my new life.

For the rest of my life, I will never forget that special night. I hold it as one of the most precious nights of my life. We were young, naive and full of hope. We had so many dreams and so many things we were going to accomplish. We did not know much about what our future held but we knew that whatever happened, we would be together.

Now, 20 years later, my "sister" and "brother" are still two of my best friends. We've changed, moved several times, fought, made up, hoped (and still hope) that our kids marry each other, been there for each other through illness, sadness and happiness. We've even added a fourth to our Triad over the years. One thing remains the same, we're still counting our blessings for each other and thanking those tireless people who made it possible for us to be friends.

God Bless you, Mr. President. I wish you well on your journey.

Ricardo Montalban

2009-01-14T20:35:00.003-06:00

Here's something that might surprise you, if you don't know me personally.

I'm a Star Trek fan.

There, I said it.

I'm not the "convention/recite every episode" type but do admit that I get giddy at the thought of Star Trek. When we were in our 20's, Jana and I once went to the Air and Space museum in DC because they were having a Star Trek exhibit. One of my favorite pictures is the two of us getting "beamed" up. It was full-on geeky. It was awesome.

My all-time favorite Star Trek film is the Wrath of Khan. Khan was a bad dude. Ricardo Montalban played Khan with such perfection. I probably saw this movie eight times in the theatre. When I was in the hospital with leukemia, a friend brought me a tape of this movie. I watched it EVERY day for months. The nurses used to make fun of me because I just kept re-winding it over and over again. I mean, it's Khan! Khaaaaaaan! Khaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Rest in peace, Ricardo.

Confession Tuesday

2009-01-13T21:49:00.002-06:00

Hi Everyone and Happy Tuesday!
*******
NEWS ALERT! Talked to the surgeon yesterday. He visited with Dr. Goldman. From the results we received over Christmas, we believe that the tumor is a matured tumor or a benign tumor. If it never grows, it will not harm her in anyway and might go away on its own. The reason they would like to do surgery is to 1-remove the tumor and 2-biopsy it to be sure what it is made of.

Now, on to the conversation with the surgeon. Bottom line is that this tumor is in a terrible location for surgery. It's right on the spine and in order to remove it, they will have to move around Eva's diaphragm, adrenal glands, and kidneys during surgery. That sounds like a terrible thing to happen to a 2-year old.

What's the plan? They want to leave it in there and watch it for another month. Pediatric tumors grow very quickly so we should know something very soon if it is going to grow. So, we're in holding pattern #47 for a bit.
*******
Ok, let me just get this out of the way. I'M LEAVING FOR MEXICO IN TWO DAYS!!!!! WAHOO!!! It's my BFF, Shug's, 40th birthday and there are 6 of us heading down for some R&R. I'm working on my gin hand because my girlfriend has been talking trash for a couple of weeks and I need to take her DOWN! It's you and me, sista, on the thatched-roofed balcony over looking the ocean. You know the one!
*******
I'm 100% certain that my co-workers are THRILLED that this trip will finally be over. I've done nothing but jump up and down and talk about it for weeks. As it is getting closer, I jump higher and talk more frequently.
*******
I have canceled so many things for this trip to save money. I've had my eyes on the prize for six months.
*******
Ok, enough about that. Can I get a WAHOO for the return of the Bachelor??? I loves me some Jason. If you're a fan and watch the show, check out some recaps. This one has been a favorite of mine for several years. Chris Harrison also blogs on ew.com and is hilarious!
*******
Oh, those Golden Globes were great. I'm filing away my picks for the big Oscar tournament coming soon. Anyone have any early favorites to discuss?
*******
Took Jack to an open house today for a public Montessori school. First of all, we LOVE our school and plan to keep Jack there but to save $8,000 per year, it was worth a look, especially when everyone keeps telling us what a great school it is! There were hundreds of parents there for the open house. I could not believe it. I heard from one parent that some folks camp out the night before to make sure that they are among the first to get their child's application in. That is certainly not for me!
*******
Jack will NOT get into this school and not because I refuse to sleep in a sleeping bag in 30 degree weather. The very kind teacher leading the class told us some of the basic requirements for an upcoming KINDERGARTNER (a child aged 4, now). They include: being able to write your full name (first, middle and last), count to 100, reading, and "basic math" such as addition and subtraction of two digit numbers. She also said that some kids can write all their numbers from 1-100...at FOUR!

FOUR?

While I have always known that Jack was very advanced verbally, he's very behind in his writing skills. He can barely draw a straight line, much less write his full name. Alas, guess that's just not for us. Thank heavens because I would hate to feel guilty for not behaving like a crazy parent.
*******
I seem to recall that I learned to read in kindergarten. I also learned to count to 10 in french. Beyond that, I think it was mostly play. I mean, it's kindergarten, for goodness sakes! Why do they have to name the continents by four? (for the record, Jack can.) Maybe it is just me.
******
That's it for the week.

Heeeeey!

2009-01-10T17:16:00.003-06:00

Well, it turns out that someone far more creative than I wrote this tribute to Goodnight Moon called Goodnight Mom. Hmm, maybe I need to copyright my name! Anyway, enjoy!!

Goodnight Mom
(with apologies to Margaret Wise Brown)
By Sarah Jio, Parenting

In the messy green family room

There was a telemarketer ringing the telephone

And a crying toddler

because his brother just popped his red balloon

And a picture of--
The cow jumping over the moon (which someone colored on with permanent marker)

And there was a missing teddy bear,

and a girl with gum in her hair

And one to be scolded

And laundry to be folded

And a very hungry spouse

And something stinky in the house (that no one else seemed to smell)
And a comb and a brush

and a colicky baby who just won't shush

And a frazzled mommy screaming #*%#@

Goodnight messy room

Goodnight scribbled-on moon

Goodnight cow getting out while she can

Goodnight telemarketers and the popped balloon

Goodnight long-gone teddy bear

Goodnight cereal bar smeared all over the dining room chair
Goodnight spitup

And goodnight leaky sippy cup

Goodnight much-too-little house

and goodnight grumpy spouse

Goodnight comb and goodnight brush

And goodnight to a certain 4-year-old who just needs to hush--right now I mean it
Goodnight Elmo

Goodnight toys we'll pick up tomorrow, or the next day

Hello chardonnay and TiVo--

"me" time, finally

Waste of Time

2009-01-09T17:20:00.003-06:00

Well, today's appointment was a complete waste of time. Turns out that despite my asking yesterday if the surgeon had the MRI and was all set to meet with us, he didn't and wasn't.

When I walked in, he was his usual jovial self and said, "so, do you have the MRI for us to review?" I said, uh no. Your staff said you had it.

He had reviewed it back in December but did not have it now. He was pretty upset at his staff for dropping the ball. Ugh.

It was just a waste of my time at a time when I don't have any to waste.

He said that from what he could recall, it's a small piece in a pretty difficult area. Yes, already knew that. He made some quick suggestions of what to do based on what he could remember. No need to publish any of that.

So, bottom line is that he said he would call Dr. Goldman, get the MRI, review it this weekend and call us on Monday with a plan.

The only good news is that it is 80 degrees out and I got home at 4:30. So, Jon and the kids are outside playing football. I'm heading out to join them. I hope you all have a great weekend!

And then there were 13...

2009-01-08T22:01:00.004-06:00

Tonight, James Nathan became my 7th nephew. Add him to my 6 nieces and that totals 13! Is that excessive to have 13 nieces and nephews? How lucky I am!!!

James arrived this evening in North Carolina. I'm told he looks just like my brother, who by the way, looks just like my son. Big ears, big eyes. Just my type. So, I'm sure I'll take a pretty good shine to him.

I can't believe my Nathaniel is a father. Nip (as we call him) is the 6th child of the 8. He was born just 15 months later than his older brother. Nip was scrawny and as I told him looked like a Mickey Mouse lollipop, just a stick with ears. Big ears, big eyes. Just my type.

As he grew, I always felt that it was my job to protect him from the outside world. I was the one to make sure his shoes were tied and shirt tucked in before he left the house. If someone messed with him, I was the one there to make sure that they did not do it again. True story but I once threatened to beat up some kids who were making fun of him at the park. They were 6. I was 20. You didn't mess with my Nip.

Now, at 6ft 5in and 200 some odd lbs, it's my little Nip's turn to take care of a little one. It's his job to beat up the kids.

Don't you worry little James. Your Daddy will take great care of you. If not, your Aunt is right there on the next swing. Don't you worry, I can take them.

Welcome James with your big ears and big eyes! A big kiss from your Aunt.

Surgeon Update

2009-01-07T06:34:00.002-06:00

We meet with the surgeon on Friday afternoon to discuss options for Eva's remaining tumor.

We'll decide then, if surgery is possible or if it is in a location that is just too risky.

More to come.

Confession Tuesday

2009-01-05T23:35:00.005-06:00

Ok, here's my first confession in a LONG while. Let's have at it, shall we?
*******
My house looks awful. It is currently in a state of disarray due to the fact that we moved the kids in together and reorganized the now guest/playroom. We still have lots of work to do but since I've been working on it non-stop since Friday afternoon, I just needed a mental break tonight. So, I cooked dinner, fed the kids, put them to bed and sat down to WATCH THE BACHELOR-- NEW THIS WEEK!!! GO JASON! GO JASON! GO, GO JASON!
*******
Jon says of all the stuff I make him watch, which is PLENTY, mind you, The Bachelor is by far the worst. Maybe so, but when you have the right group of folks on that show, it can be like the world's best chocolate cake you get to eat for 10 weeks.
*******
While staying with my sister over Christmas, I learned to love HGTV. Mostly, Designed to Sell. You always think your house looks ok and then you watch those HGTV shows and realize how your house looks like crap. The good news about that particular show is that they have some pretty simple, short projects that don't look that hard. They also make me want to organize, throw away, organize, replace, repaint, organize. Time to make Jon do some watching.
*******
I'm going to Mexico in less than two weeks. My dear friend, Shug, is turning 40 and we are hitting the beach for four days of R & R. I just had to mention that because it is on my mind given the fact that it was sleeting outside today. I'm sure I'll mention it, again.
*******
Speaking of things on my mind. I can't stop cracking myself up at the thought of my Ikea Depot. You'd walk into this bright blue building, have a handful of these parts and then ask the friendly Sweede, "Where can I find square plastic pegs?" "Oh, but of course, you may find zem near zee round plastic pegs on aisle 5 just past zee meatballs".

I don't know why my Sweede talks with a french accent but it's my fantasy, so deal with it.
*******
Speaking of our trip to Ikea on Saturday night, it was the night that my dearest son, Jack decided to try out his first swear word. He was tired and cranky and turned to me in the store and said, "Mom, let's just go get the damn bed." I think I almost paralyzed myself by snapping my head so fast around to look at him. Now, for the record, if he had said a word that rhymes with spit, I would have known it came from me as that seems to be the only remnant of my former "sailor" ways. HOWEVER, "damn" is all Jon. I blame football (English and American), really. Jon mostly only swears when football is on.

Anyway, I thought he might have learned his lesson on Saturday but guess what? He did not. Tonight, over dinner, Jack said, "Mom, what the hell is this?" (Ok, for the record, that MIGHT have come from me.)

I won't write the punishment I provided to my darling boy so that I don't have any parents writing me mean notes but I have to say, I do believe Jack's mouth might be a bit cleaner from now on. Literally.
*******
Ok, so I've mentioned that my kids are fond of naked. They have naked racing almost every night through the house. I've finally convinced them to at least put on underpants as they run through the house admiring their buttocks in mirrors. I mean, really, honestly. Anyway, Saturday, it was 78 degrees here and we had all the windows and doors open on the house. The kids had made mud pies outside and needed a bath. After the bath, Jack comes sprinting out of the bathroom, jumps on a bed and yells out the front window, "HELLO NEIGHBORS! IT'S PARTY TIME AND I'M NAKED!!!!!"
*******
Ok, off to bed. Happy Tuesday!!!

Random Thoughts at 6 AM

2009-01-05T06:16:00.002-06:00

Good morning. I'm up at 6 to go to work but thought I would take a moment to write a post. I have not written a post since before New Year's so this is sort of a random assortment of the things I've been thinking about for the past couple of weeks. Sort of like an early confessional for the week, if you will.
*******
Happy New Year! Today is January 5. I hope that you and your families have had a wonderful one. For me, this is about the 7th posting I have started in the past 10 days. I just can't seem to write about the New Year because I just can't seem to want to face all the things that happened in the past year. So, without recapping all the drama of the past 12 mos, let's just say, I was pretty happy to see 2009!
*******
We had a great Christmas with the family this year. My sister was so awesome to host us for a full week. My parents were so great to keep the kids for most of the week. It was just so relaxing.
*******
That said, there was a little drama for us getting to NC and home from NC but we made it safely. Some highlights of the travel include, a night at the airport, literally running through the airport, missing a flight, me crying publicly (you all KNOW how much I LOVE that!), awesome people helping us by moving so we could sit together, luggage on the other side of the state from where we landed, 18 hours and two airports on the return trip, five hour flight delay, and a screaming two year old. Good times.
*******
Our New Year's Eve was the same as last years, spent at a dear friend's house. The kids were at their nanny's for the night and we had an adult overnight party that went WAY too late. The good news about that? No one was waking me up at 6am! WAHOO!
*******
On New Year's Day, we went to a friend's open house. The kids had a fantastic time because they had spent the past 24 hours at the Nanny's house, which is like summer camp for them and then went to our friend's house to play for several hours, also like camp. They and we were EXHAUSTED from all the running and playing.
*******
Jon and I went to Ikea on Saturday to get Jack a new bed. We've decided to move both kids in the same room. Our thought is that it might make them sleep better if someone was in the room and maybe we won't have as many midnight visitors. Here's to hoping that's true!
*******
We were up until midnight on Saturday night assembling that stuff AND spent all day on Sunday rearranging. Why does Ikea have so many strange looking parts? I mean, who thinks of these little tiny things with such odd shapes? No runs to the Depot to fix your stuff, that's for sure! Nope, they need an Ikea Depot. Can you imagine what that would be like? The aisles would have headers like, Triangle-Shaped Thingy's, Tiny Wrenches, Pegs, and Plastic Screws. I wonder if I worked there if I could get a discount.
*******
While we have been avoiding the hospital, Eva had been trying to get us to take here there. Today, she goes back to school for the first time since chemo started. She will go with a bruised head from where she ran into a wall, a purple finger from where she shut the car door on herself (for the record, we were going out and I had unlocked the car to put the kids in it. Eva just beat me to the car and managed to damage herself in seconds...ugh), a scabbed nose from where she flipped out of a swing not once but TWICE on New Year's Day, a black eye from where she did not listen and sit down but instead fell and hit her face on Jack's new bed, AND another purple finger from where she had a tape measure close on her hand. I'm not even mentioning the number of times I had to race across the yard of my friend's house on New Year's because Eva was trying to dive bomb down their slide head first. She has the perfect combination of fearlessness, hard-headedness, clumsiness and inability to learn from her mistakes that makes for quite a challenge, that's for sure. I just hope I don't get a friendly visit from CPS by the end of the day!
*******
Ok, off to work! Have a good one!

Good News!

2008-12-26T18:17:00.002-06:00

Got a call today from the doctor. Eva's urine tests were NORMAL! That means that the little piece that is still left inside of her is probably NOT neuroblastoma!

This is terrific news!

So, next week, we call the surgeon to see if we can remove the tumor.

Taking things a day at a time but this was a step in the RIGHT direction!!!

Five Things I Love About Christmas

2008-12-24T09:47:00.003-06:00

My pal Laura, tagged me with the easiest tag I have ever received. Name five things I love about Christmas. Christmas is my favorite time of year. I could go on and on about the things that I love about it. But, since I only can name five, here you go!

As I sit here at my sister's house with children screaming in my ear, I am reminded of #1.

1) Being around my family. I know that many of you have large crazy families. You have to understand how wonderful and stressful and terrific and comforting it is to be around them. My sister and I have children the same age so we have five children between the age of 2 and 8 running around the house nonstop for a week. Some might find this a bit of a beat down, it makes me so happy.

2) The smell of Christmas trees. Can't be beat. Seriously.

3) How happy everyone seems to be this time of year. It is as if people just inject themselves with happiness. I LOVE that!

4) Christmas songs sung by my family. Ok, if you guys had not figured it out yet, we are geeks to the core. I think that my family just wishes that life were a musical because we can be known to burst into song at any time. It only takes one person to sing one note and the whole family joins in. Here's a perfect example. Christmas this year happens to coincide with Hanukkah. So, Jon brought our menorah and we've been celebrating this week here. Well, last night, Jon very quietly lit his menorah. Not to let any tradition slip past us, we all burst into"'Tis the week of Hanukkah", all just for Jon. Yes, nothing makes my husband happier than a room full of Doziers singing songs to him. Bring on the music!

5) Watching the kids open presents on Christmas morning. Awesome.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!!!!

25,000!

2008-12-20T11:03:00.002-06:00

Today, I hit 25,000 visits on my blog! Holy cow! That is amazing to me. It is so amazing that so many folks care about my family.

Now, I know that since Eva got sick, the number of folks reading this went up dramatically. I mean, it's not like 25,000 folks suddenly decided that there was this quirky Mom blathering on about her kids and thought they should read about it. I know the real reason.

I tell you, that little baby is so fortunate to have so many folks who care about her!

While we're on the topic of the site meter, I have to say that I quite regularly take a look at who is looking at my blog. I mean, since I write so much about my kids, I want to make sure that there aren't any crazies downloading pictures of my kids, you know?

I once read from a pal of mine how someone she knew was so excited that so many folks were looking at her blog. Her site meter was going through the roof and she was feeling so confident in her writing! Of course, when she dug deeper, she discovered that people were finding her because they had a thing for women who wore eyeglasses. EWWW!

The reason I mention this is that there are often funny ways people find my blog from Google.

In honor of the 25,000 folks who accidentally or purposefully found me, I thought I would write
the top five google searches to find my blog that I see.

1-The one I see the most is that they are often googling Bon Jovi lyrics (I mean, who wouldn't? he's AWESOME!)

2-I get found because of the 10,000 times I talk about the Imagination Movers.

3-Recently, people have been finding me because of my love letter to my Dyda. Seems like "Love Letter to Mom" is a popular search.

4-Of course, neuroblastoma comes up A LOT.

BUT, by far my favorite, in honor of my friend who shall remain nameless is #5

5-Someone found me recently by googling "Zac Efron fan club."

Gotta love that internet!

More Results

2008-12-19T18:48:00.002-06:00

Met with the doctor this morning. Have a clearer picture of what we've got. Here's the deal. Eva still has a very very small tumor in her, right on her spine on the lower left side. It is slightly smaller than it was when we saw it after round 2.

What does that mean? Lots.

The first thing we have to do is determine if this is immature NB cells. The doctors do not suspect that they are. They suspect that it was a mix of immature (bad) and mature (not bad on the scale) cells. They think that the chemo that we had killed those immature cells and left the mature cells, thus the slightly smaller size.

So, we did the urine test to see if her catacholemines are elevated. They also did lots of blood work to verify this.

If it comes back abnormal, stop. Go to path A, we do more chemo.

If it comes back normal, we go to path B. Path B is we meet with the surgeon to discuss whether or not we remove the tumor. Why would we not? Well, it's in a pretty tricky location, just hugging the spine.

Path B1-Surgery (most likely scenario)--this way we can remove the tumor, look at it and make sure that it was all mature as they suspect.

Path B2-Watchful waiting (the do nothing plan, as we call it)--this will have us getting just an MRI every eight weeks for the next year.

So, we get the results of all the blood work on Monday the 29th.

There is still much to celebrate. They think it is highly unlikely that we will need more chemo so we'll celebrate that. If it changes and we do, we'll deal with that when we come to it.

This is a great Christmas gift, that is for sure.

Results

2008-12-18T20:49:00.004-06:00

Tonight, I raced home from work today to get Jack ready for his big night at the Christmas pagent. I had both kids in the bath when the phone rang. It was Dr. Goldman. My heart stopped.
He thought he would just go ahead and call us about the news with Eva.

It is good.

Here's the deal. Eva's MRI was exactly the same as the last time. After two rounds of chemo. Nothing on the left but there is a one inch something on the left side. What does that mean? Well, it means that the cells that are there are either scar tissue or mature neuroblastoma cells.

So, what's next? Well, after the new year, we'll meet with the surgeon. We'll talk about whether or not to resect that little piece. What the dr. thinks is that we should leave it there and then look at it in eight weeks to see what it is doing. If it is growing, we'll resect it. If not, we'll just leave it.

Anyway, it is just great news and we'll take it. That is the best Christmas present I could ever get.

No more chemo.

Merry Christmas to you.

Tomorrow

2008-12-17T23:49:00.002-06:00

Well, we've had quite a bit of slack time over here in Goodnight Mom Land. Back to reality tomorrow. Jon is taking Eva to have an MRI tomorrow. This will be the real test to see if the chemo worked.

From here, as I've said, we have many decisions to make once we get the results Friday morning.

I can't go because I have a meeting I can't get out of tomorrow. So, Jon is taking her. I'm sure she'll do fine.

More to come!

They're Coming to Dallas!!!

2008-12-13T11:37:00.003-06:00

Well, it was a BANNER day today in the Goodnight Mom household! The Imagination Movers are coming to Dallas! Well, Fort Worth, anyway.

Here's the great news, they are playing on Jack's birthday weekend in March! We told him a couple of days ago that they were coming and that we would be celebrating his birthday with his favorite band!

If you live in this area and have preschool kids, I would highly recommend you pick up some tickets. I won't even go into how much Eva loves the Movers. I talk about it enough here.

This ain't your mama's Wiggles! (Although, truth be told, The Wiggles don't bother me that much.) This is a rockin' dance party for you and your kids.

I won't go into the details of how Jon injured himself at the last Movers concert we attended, BUT feel free to read about it here!

If you want to find out which show we're attending to join us in Jack's birthday celebration, feel free to shoot me an email.

My Secret Santa

2008-12-12T20:22:00.005-06:00

This arrived at my house today. No card, nothing. I am assuming that the florist who sent it (not on the box) probably forgot to include the card. So, I am unable to thank my wonderful friend, whomever it is.

Anyone want to claim it?

THANK YOU! It looks gorgeous on my mantle!!!

AH-OOOOOH Werewolves in London! AH-OOOOO!

2008-12-12T20:18:00.006-06:00

Tonight, my very funny child Jack thought that in honor of the full moon, he would make crazy faces at me. Here's the collection.

The Skirt

2008-12-10T22:40:00.006-06:00

If there is ever a good story about the commercialism of Christmas, it is this one.

I left the office early today to take Eva to the doctor. Late this evening, I realized that I have my Board of Directors Christmas party tomorrow night. I had no idea what the dress code was as I have been at my job for less than a year.

So, I called one of my co-workers who told me that while it was not imperative, most of the women wore skirts. Skirts. Skirts?

It hit the closet immediately to take a look at what I had. Guess what? No skirts. Now, don't get me wrong, I wear summer skirts with flip flops all summer long. Once it becomes too cold to wear open-toed shoes, I run out of skirts. I'm all pants all the time.

Here's why the commercialism of Christmas is sometimes a good thing. I left the house at 10:00pm to hit two stores to find a skirt. Stores are still open on a Wednesday night! More than one store! Wahoo! I came home with a perfectly appropriate winter skirt. Oh, and an ice scraper for my car.

Here's a Quick Note on Eva

2008-12-10T20:49:00.002-06:00

Went to the doctor this afternoon. Eva's counts are back to normal! WBC 9.6 ANC 3.24 Wahoo!!! I stopped the neupogen shots on Saturday so this is an ACTUAL not enhanced by the shots reading! YIPPEE!

So, that said, we have an appointment on Wednesday for an MRI.

As you know, when we started chemo, Eva had a tumor hugging her spine about four inches long and about an inch wide. After two rounds of chemo, we did an MRI and it showed that the tumor had shrunk to one by one inch!

So, it is our hope that after two more rounds, all is clear. That would be the best way to celebrate Christmas. If it is not clear, we look at more chemo, maybe surgery or what the doctors call "watchful waiting" and Jon and I call the "do nothing plan."

We get the results of the MRI on Friday (the 19th) morning. Then, we decide what the next steps will be.

Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree...

2008-12-09T23:13:00.005-06:00

Today I came home from work sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Both kids were up all night long last night and I got no sleep at all. I was exhausted and probably have a sinus infection. I immediately went to bed.

Of course, this is the night that we had already decided to put up the Christmas tree and the kids were NOT going to let me put it off another day. So, I dragged myself out of bed to help put up the tree. The kids were going crazy with excitement. I was running on fumes.

Then, the most amazing thing happened right here in Dallas. While we were putting up the tree, it started snowing outside for the first time this year. It never snows in Dallas and here it was, early December. Snowing outside.

I suddenly felt energized. My fever was gone. The chills were gone. It was Christmas!!!!

The kids and I all went outside danced around the front yard. I got to teach Eva how to catch snowflakes on her tongue. Jack tried to make a snowball off of the five snowflakes that landed on his head. We all laughed and laughed and laughed.

I could see my beautiful new tree glistening in the window.

Ahh, the medicine of Christmas.

The Kissing Place

2008-12-08T23:46:00.006-06:00

Tonight Jon and I went into the attic to pull down all the Christmas gear. Keeping two very curious children out of the boxes proved to be quite a challenge.

What to do? Well, I put them to bed so I could quietly open each box.

I love many things about Christmas. It is, by far, my favorite time of year. One thing that I love more than anything is opening up those boxes and looking at all my family "treasures."

This is the Dozier Family Grand Prize when it comes to Christmas stuff. It is a plastic snowman that has a bit of mistletoe dangling down from it.

I believe that my grandmother, Bama, bought this thing in the 1960's. One thing I know for sure is that this alone brings more memories than anything else that I have in my home.

My grandmother would walk each of us under the mistletoe and kiss us every year on Christmas morning. She kissed my parents, my friends, anyone who happened by to drop off, say, a newspaper. This was the kissing place.

My first Christmas in Texas after I got married, I pulled out my Christmas boxes and hark and behold, here was the Dozier Family Grand Prize. I immediately called Dyda to tell him that I would be shipping it back to him immediately.

He said, "Dahlin', this is for your home now. Make sure you kiss your husband under it for many years."

This is my first Christmas without my Dyda, but I did just that tonight.

What Time Is It in Southeast Asia?

2008-12-07T23:23:00.002-06:00

This is an actual conversation that occurred in the car today as we headed to East Texas to cut down our Christmas tree.

Jack was sound asleep in the back seat.

He pops his head up and says, "Mommy, what time is it in Southeast Asia?"

Jon and I just look at each other.

Jon: "3:15am, buddy"

Jack: "Oh"

End of conversation.

I think that might have been quite possibly the funniest random conversation I have ever been involved in.

Lunch for Life

2008-12-06T22:39:00.006-06:00

Hi everyone! Our good NB friend Erin posted about the Lunch for Life program. This is a program that is a fundraiser for the Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation. The money they raise goes to fund neuroblastmoa research.

Each year, they do a fundraiser where children can sign up to have a virtual tree. You can "give up a lunch" ($5, $10, whatever you would spend) and donate it to help fund research to save a life like Eva's. For every $5 you donate, Eva gets an ornament for her "tree."

Here’s how it works: Eva has her own virtual giving tree, and your donations will decorate those trees with ornaments and (ultimately) presents. Every donation has three effects: 1) Eva's tree receives 1 ornament for every $5 you donate; 2) every donation generates a Giving Code which can get you bonus ornaments when your friends type it in; and 3) each ornament placed on a Eva's tree creates one entry for Eva into our Disney World giveaway.

For example, if I donate $15 to Eva's tree, then that places 3 ornaments on her tree, creates 3 contest entries for Eva, and generates a Giving Code for me to pass along. When a tree is full (500 ornaments), those ornaments transform into a present underneath that tree, and the decoration process begins all over again.

To donate, go to Eva's Lunch for Life website
Our Giving Code is 31557

Here's your shot to eat healthier by bringing lunch from home AND help children like Eva fight.

Thank you all so much for your support.

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!

2008-12-05T22:45:00.005-06:00

When I got home from work this afternoon, Jack and Eva wanted to play "Mommy is a Jungle Gym."

Although I usually end up kicked in the face on multiple occasions, battered and bruised, I'm usually ok with this little game. It makes the kids very happy and since I'm always trying to find ways to get though the 5:30-7:00pm "witching hour", I agreed today.

What does "Mommy is a Jungle Gym" entail? Let's tackle Mom. Let's smack Mom with a pillow. Let's try to hang on to Mom's legs while she tries to walk away. Let's tag team dangling from Mom's appendages.

Anyway, back to the bed. Mommy is a Jungle Gym led to a pretty raucous game of hide and seek. I'm a great hider. The kids are horrible seekers.

Jack found me on the bed and went to jump on top of me. When I leapt to catch him to prevent his 45lb solid body from landing on my head, I landed on the corner of our bed. CRASH!

Broken.

I broke my own bed while playing with the kids today. Not a little bit broken. REALLY broken. Like Jon's sleeping on the couch because he will roll off the bed broken. Like we need a new bed broken.

Bummer.

Oh, Man, My Sister and I Do Have Way Too Much Time

2008-11-30T14:09:00.003-06:00

Here's what my sister visiting + kids napping + cold weather + nothing on TV =

Thoughts on a Saturday...

2008-11-29T09:02:00.002-06:00

Good Morning, friends.

I'm just sitting here on the computer on a cool Saturday morning. Jon has taken the kids to his sister's house for breakfast so that I could sleep in. Sadly, since I go to work at 5 am, 7:40 IS sleeping in. So, I'm up sitting on the computer and catching up on my reading that I have ignored for the past two months.

I can't believe how time has flown by. We would just go week to week with this chemo thing. Week one, chemo in hospital/doctor's office. This was immediately followed by nights of vomiting and waking up every two hours for diaper changes. Week two, Eva crashes. Maybe another hospital stay/transfusion, maybe not. Week three. Normalcy. That week went by fast. Then, back again to chemo and start over.

Meanwhile, trying to maintain my work and Jack. Pretty much all free time was at home with family and in bed by 8. As it should be, I guess.

We made leaf piles, went to the State Fair, baked cupcakes, rode bikes, played hide and seek, had dance parties.... Now that I think about it, maybe it was not so bad, after all. I mean, except for the vomiting, weakness, hair loss, extreme diaper rash and hospitalizations, maybe having a Fall at home was ok.

Back to today. I have nothing planned for today at all. It has been so long since I've been faced with a Saturday with NO plans. No soccer, no birthday parties, nothing. My work email is even down for the next two days due to maintenance. I can't even do that!

As a matter of fact, my biggest decision that I have to make right now is whether or not to eat the awesome stuffing my husband made for Thanksgiving for breakfast cold or hot. Oh, and sweet potatoes, they are like hash browns, right? Anyone want to weigh in?

Happy End of Chemo Day!

2008-11-26T22:10:00.005-06:00

Just some shots of tonight's celebration. Thank you so much to my father-in-law who made the MOST incredible meal! All my favorites: Oyster loaf, BBQ shrimp, gumbo, shrimp and crab salad.... ahh... This was followed by the No More Chemo Celebration!

What Happens When My Sister and I Have Too Much Time on Our Hands

2008-11-26T17:51:00.000-06:00

My Blog Type

2008-11-26T17:28:00.002-06:00

My BFF, Jana, over at PoetMom had this link and I went ahead to check my blog type.

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

I gotta say, just as Jana says, I am my blog. Maybe minus the plan ahead part, two kids, you gotta stay ahead of things. But I sure am exhausted.

No More Medicine!

2008-11-26T17:07:00.007-06:00

Here's a shot of Eva today at the doctor's office. Today was day 3 of Round 4 or THE LAST DAY OF CHEMO!!!!!!

Today, when the nurse de-accessed her port, Eva looked at her and said, "No more medicine?" I said, "NO! NO MORE MEDICINE!!"

Now, I know how these things go. We may be right back here doing chemo again in January but for now, we are finished for the foreseeable future and that is worth celebrating!!!!

Break out the champagne!

Way to go Super Eva!!!

Back from the Great Unknown

2008-11-24T13:15:00.002-06:00

Well, here I am sitting in the doctor's office. Eva is asleep in the crib next to me. We are on Day 1 of our fourth round of chemo. If all goes well, this will be the last round we'll ever need. Obviously, someone up above has his own plans but here's to hoping!

It has been so long since I've updated my blog on a regular basis. To be honest, I'm just exhausted. I go to work at this insane hour, work 11 hr days five days per week, and then go to bed around 8pm every night. I've also had family in town for Eva so when I am home and up late, I'm just with them. Excuses, excuses, I guess. Time to get back on the train.

Also, since my Dyda passed away, I've just not been feeling very creative. I miss him terribly. That week was such a blur with Eva in the hospital with an infected port. I figured out that I slept in seven different beds in 10 days. When I got back from Virginia from the funeral, that first night, I freaked out when Jon came to bed. I thought I was in a hotel room by myself and had no idea why this MAN was climbing into bed!!! YIKES!!!

As Jon wrote last week, Eva is doing great. She is just the funniest and happiest person you can meet. Today, we're here and SAVED by my dear cousins who sent Eva her very own Imagination Movers DVD that they taped from the television. We're all Movers all the time and having 10 episodes at our disposal makes quite the happy child. THANK YOU BROWDERS!

Jack is also fine. Just his usual hyper, hilarious, outgoing self. Nothing really to write about him.

Anyway, that's the quick update on us. I've also finally gotten our house wireless so Jon and I can BOTH work at the same time (YEAH) and not have to work in the kitchen attached to the wall. That alone was a drain on creativity!

I hope you are all well. More to come. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers!

A Note from Jon

2008-11-20T06:19:00.001-06:00

This was sent from my hubby yesterday. Thought it summed things up nicely.

Eva had a “check under the hood” appointment today, and all is well. Her blood counts are excellent, and she’s even gaining weight, hitting 28.2 lbs. We are good to go for Round 4 of chemo starting Monday. It will be 3 days of chemo, then 3 weeks of recovery. In mid-December, we will do an MRI to assess the tumor and our next steps. Options include:

1. More chemo
2. Surgery to remove the tumor
3. Nothing (MRIs every so often to watch and see)

I must say the farther we go, the more I am impressed by how damn tough Eva is becoming. When they stabbed her to take blood today, she didn’t cry, wince, jerk her hand, nothing. Stone cold face, watching intensely as the blood drops went into the vial. Man, maybe others would say, “so what, that’s normal”, but it gets me every time.

Ahhhhh!!!

2008-11-11T19:50:00.002-06:00

I can't believe that a week has gone by since last I posted! I have so much to write but just no time or energy to do it. I promise that tonight, I'll go to bed early and get some rest so that tomorrow night, I can do a proper post.

THAT SAID!

Here's where we are:

Had round 3 of chemo last week. Finally saw the pictures of the MRI. The tumor that was four inches long has been reduced to one inch!!!! The other tumor is GONE! This is just after two rounds of chemo. We have two more!

Got through all the vomiting with this round. All went well. Her counts are up so we're coasting a bit for the next two weeks (hopefully...please God?) and then the final round the week of Thanksgiving.

Ok, have to run, I'm fading FAST. These 5am work days are tough!

Markedly Decreased

2008-11-04T09:31:00.001-06:00

Well, I'm pretty sure that when you see the words "markedly decreased" on an MRI report, it is good news!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Neither the doctor nor we have seen the actual pictures yet. We won't see them until Thursday but the doctor says that he very rarely sees those words on a radiology report.

So, we're proceeding as planned to finish this chemo!!! This is the best possible news that we could have ever hoped for.

Jon and I have one of the child life specialists coming to watch Eva while we go vote for a bit. But we are just flying high....

Round 3

2008-11-03T19:13:00.003-06:00

Greetings, again, from our home away from home, Medical City, also known as the chocolate thunder cake lovefest. We're here for our third round of chemo until Wednesday.

It has been quite a ten days. When I have time tomorrow, I'll write a confession to try to summarize.

The big news for us is that Eva just had an MRI to determine if the chemo is working. If it is, we'll keep plugging along. If not, well, I don't know what we'll do. We'll find out the results tomorrow. I can only hope for the best but to be honest, it is a bit nerve racking to have all the MRI techs look at you with their cocked heads and furrowed brows and say, "Oooh, best of luck to you. She's on our prayer list." That can't be good.

Oh, and in other news, they cultured Eva's port on Friday and it grew something again! She seems perfectly healthy so they think it might be contaminated. Here's to hoping.

Longer post tomorrow when I get back after voting!!!!

We're Home!

2008-10-29T22:35:00.002-05:00

We're all home at last!

Got back from North Carolina on Monday and broke Eva out of the hospital! Wahoo! She's doing just fine! They sent us home with IV antibiotics, which Jon and I I get to administer but still, we're home.

Things are still set for Monday's chemo. We are going to check into the hospital for the night, get an MRI and get chemo on Monday and Tuesday. Then, we go home.

I'm heading to Norfolk tomorrow for Dyda's funeral. Strange, I feel such at peace about it. I think that all the crying was such a release of all the tension I had been carrying for so long. I really feel better. Dyda, thanks, again!

Going to miss Halloween, which saddens me deeply. It is my favorite holiday outside of christmas. I always put on this witch hat and answer the door while Jon takes the kids out trick or treating. I sure love to see all the kids in their costumes! Alas, I will miss it.

That's about it. I'm up because I have to change Eva's medicine but I sure can't wait to go to bed!

A Love Letter

2008-10-23T16:09:00.007-05:00

Dear Dyda,

Well, I always knew someday I would write this letter to you. I had just hoped that it would be a bit longer until I did. Alas, God had other plans.

You see, I have always considered myself one of the luckiest persons ever to be to not only have one incredible father, but two. Bama and you were like the extra set of parents any gal of seven siblings needed. Not only were you MY grandfather, but you managed to adopt just about every friend that I have ever had. Nearly all my friends tell me that they have always considered you THEIR granfather, as well.

All my earliest memories have you in it. Dyda, you I often think of those weekends in Snug Harbor, all the kids running around, you on those mini-bikes and dazzling us all with your ability to water ski. You, Daddy and Uncle Denny shooting off your firework display for the cheering audience each Forth of July remains the highlight of my childhood. You had infinite patience with those rugrats running about climbing on your things, breaking your things, moving your things. Maybe you didn't, really, but it sure felt like you did to us.

As I got older, my relationship with you just blossomed. I cannot remember any situation that I might have found myself in during my teen years that I did not tell you and Bama. As a matter of fact, I remember very clearly driving home late one Friday night when I was in high school. I was pulled over for the first of my many speeding tickets. The police officer said, "Well, Missy, where are you coming from at this late hour?" I said, "My Grandparent's house". He said, "Yeah, right. On a Friday night?" I was like, "Yeah, where else would I be?" He let me off (so thank you for that, by the way).

When life got tough in Atlanta, you opened your home to me so that I could finish school in my mid-twenties. That time, our "roomie" time, means more to me than I can say. You saw me through many boyfriends (most of whom you hated but would NEVER let me know until we broke up!) but we always kept our Thursday night date nights at the Arby's. Why did I need a boyfriend when I had my main squeeze at home?

I also remember our Jeopardy nights when I had to work the night shift. I would take my 15 minute break just at the end of Jeopardy so we could play our little game, Guess the Final Jeopardy Answer Based Only on the Category. Maybe we should have thought of a better title for that game. But, nonetheless, your answer to my answer was always the same. "Oh, no, no, no, that's too obvious!"

I was also in awe of your ablity to fix anything. Anything at all. I would come home with my car "acting funny", a few minutes later, it was fine. I used a hairdryer that you rewired and rigged with duct tape for about 7 years. Even when your sight was failing, you were a marvelous instructor. "See that red line, cut it." "Uh, seriously, Dyda? I'm not a mechanic at all." "Dahlin' cut it!" Ok! All was always well.

As I got married and moved to Dallas, distance separated us, again, but not certainly in my heart. Dyda, seeing you with Bama has always served as my role model for a perfect marriage. You were two people who loved each other desperately, always respectful of each other and had ability to make the other laugh so hard! You two were truly a united front, a force to be reckoned with. Now that I am married, I know that took such hard work but you two made it look so easy.

Dyda, more than anything, I'll miss seeing your wonderful face and hearing those words, "Hi Daaahhhhlin', Hi Sugar Baby!!!!" as I enter the room.

I know you are up there with Bama, Uncle Denny, your Dad, Mom and brother, Alice, and all those whom you have loved. We got you for 93 years, so, I guess it is just their turn.

I love you so much, my handsome fella.

Always,
Your Roomie

Settling in for the Long Haul

2008-10-23T10:01:00.002-05:00

Well, it looks like we're going to be here for a while.

Dr. Goldman came in this morning and told us that she did, indeed, grow staff in the culture. What that means is that we need to give her IV antibiotics to get this under control in order to save her port.

He told us that we were going to be here until the culture came back negative and then seven days after that. So, the earliest we can go home is next Friday. He did say that if her counts were up, we might be able to negotiate going home next Monday with an at home nurse. Maybe. So, that's what we're hoping for.

Good news about being in the hospital? Chocolate Thunder Cake. I mean, really, let's look at the bright side, shall we? What do they put in that little bit of deliciousness? It is a fork full of heaven.