How I Spent Last Night or Why You Should Never Drink a Bottle of Wine by Yourself When Your Husband is Out of Town

One thing I have to say about my kids, they do go to bed really easily. I consider myself very lucky. Last night, it was not the case. For some reason, when Jon is out of town, the kids lose their minds.

Ahead of the game, I put both kids in bed by 7:30p and settled down with a bottle of wine that I had chilled all day and a cheesy movie I won't admit to watching. AND I had the TV all to myself with no eye-rolling from my husband when I wanted to watch said cheesy movie.

In the first 30 min, Jack was up 7 times. 7! Mommy, please tell me a story. Mommy, let's call Daddy. Mommy, why is the sky blue? Eva, on the other hand, I believe is teething and shot up around 8:30 for an hour and a half. Bitter much? Yes, for sure.

Then, at 3a, for some unexplained reason, Jack was back in my bed. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem for a parent BUT Jack likes to move around the entire night, talk in his sleep and kick me in the face. He's not now the cuddle bunny he used to be. That said, I have no abilitiy to put him back in his own bed at that hour. Why the parenting books all insist this is the right thing to do is beyond me. How is someone lucid enough at that hour to march their child back into their bed? I'm weak. I admit it.

Now, back to the wine. Yes, I drank the whole bottle. Did not seem like such a bad idea until Jack was trying to have a conversation with me at 6am on whether or not he could hear crickets outside. Sadly, I had no husband to pawn him off on.

Yes, Jack, there are crickets. Now, help Mommy take the bottle of wine to the recycling bin.

Oh and another thing...

Why am I obsessed with Flight of the Conchords? My god, they are funny. How can you not love lyrics like:

Sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we’ve reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife?

Feel free to watch the first episode on HBO.com/conchords/video

Boy, has it been a while

Well, after much urging from my BFF Jana, I'm finally posting again. I'll try to do this more regularly. Let's see, when I last blogged, I was still with child #2. Well, I'm happy to report that Eva arrived on October 20.

It has been quite an eight months. Dealing with my son, Jack and now this sweet little girl.

All my friends with two children told me it is like going from 0-100 in 20 seconds. They did not have my son. With him, it is like 0-400. He is so busy!

We seem to have good and bad patches. We're in a bad patch. Recently, I asked my husband if my voice sounded at the pitch only dogs could hear because for some reason, Jack just ignores me when I'm talking to him. Jon just walked away from me but my neighbor's dog sounded out, so who knows.

For father's day, we decided to go bowling. Anyone who knows anything about taking a three year-old bowling probably would have talked us out of it. More than once, i had to go diving down the lane of another bowler to retrieve Jack's ball that he insisted he throw himself. We did have fun and Jack loved it. I was just happy that Jack did not try to bowl his baby sister down the lane. I'm sure that he did not do that only because he did not think of it in time.

Jon is off in Miami this week, so I'm at home with the two kids. Tonight, I have a date with a bottle of wine and a bed.