"If you're not first, you're last" -Ricky Bobby
"And the last shall be first" -The Bible
"Slow and steady wins the race" -I don't know who said this
"No, it doesn't" -me
This morning, bright and early, I packed up my kids for my first 5K race in as many years. In desperate need to lose this weight I have put on, part of my new years resolution was to start participating in races again.
To that end, last week, I purchased a double jogger stroller, signed up for a 5K and off I went.
Here's my diary:
5 min into the race- Jack: "Mommy, why aren't we running? Let's run! We have to run! Why are all these people passing us? We're going slow!" Me: thought (why did I have you?)
1 mile-Oh My God, I'm only at ONE mile? I have three to go! Are there still people behind me? Wait, there is a man just behind me pushing his two-year old in an umbrella stroller, I can hear his squeaky wheel. I can take him.
1.1 mile-Jack: "I have to go potty" Me: "Jack, honey, there are no potties here, do you want to go in this field? You can go potty in one and a half hours when I finally finish this race, if you can hold it" Jack: "I can wait"
1.2 miles-Jack: "Mommy, I have to go potty" Me: "Jack, honey, still no potties. You can still go in this field if you need to." Jack: "I can wait"
1.5 mile turn around-Are you kidding me? There is no chip timer pad? I could have turned around at mile 1 and no one would have known????
1.6 miles-Jack: "Mommy, I'm hungry" Me fiddling in the basket looking for food while trying to keep 15 min mile pace: "Here's a candy bar (actually a Cliff bar but I doubt he'll notice)"
1.62 miles-Jack "Mommy, this candy bar tastes bad"
2 miles-Wait, I'm almost finished! Squeaky Wheels is still behind me! Besides him, I turn around and there are still four other people behind me out of 100 racers!
2.5 miles-Jack: "Mommy, I have to go potty" Me: "Jack, if you can hold it, there are special potties at the end of the race. I think they have toys in them!" Jack: "I can wait"
3 miles- 1/10 of a mile to go. Squeaky takes off running! Wait, Squeaky, we had a deal! You finish BEHIND me! I guess a random chubby chic pushing two children beating him was too much for his fragile ego. He finishes ahead of me.
3.1 miles-THE FINISH! 49 minutes! Not bad considering the fact that I'm pushing 65 lbs of children and it's my first race in as long as I can remember!
Me: "Ok, Jack, you can go potty" Jack: "No, I don't have to go now. Can I still have a toy at the special potties, though?"
So, there you have it. I finished my race AND in the top 96%. I'm well on my way. Notes for the future. Put Jack in pull ups before I leave the house.