The Commercial

So, today was the big day for the commercial. Jack woke up bright and early and was PSYCHED! So, was I, to be honest. We were going to have a fun day.

Yesterday, I had gotten a call from one of the assistant directors that our call time was 9am since we were super special and they wanted Jack for a different role.

Off we went to the fields. We got there and they pulled us outside right away. They had one child Chris and put him in a different shirt.

Meanwhile, another assistant director came up to me and said, "would you mind being in the commercial? We need you to push your "daughter" on a swing. Would that be ok? I love your green shirt."

So, one of the other Moms took care of Jack and I went off to the swingset with my new 10-year old daughter, Logan.

I get back and then they said, ok, that's it! Turns out that they wanted Jack as a BACK UP if they did not like the kid that they were hoping for! BUMMER! So, Jack just ended up being in the group ad. Mom, however? In the main ad.

Then, they brought in the other 50 kids and for the next four hours, they ran Jack back and forth. I can't believe that he made it!

In the commercial were: Hines Ward, of the Pittsburg Steelers, Antonio Gates of the San Diego Chargers and AJ Hawk of the Green Bay Packers.

So, if you are watching football this season and see a group of kids running around in a United Way ad, see if you can spot Jack! And if you see someone chasing another kid around in a field, look off into the distance and you'll see Goodnight Mom and her daugther, happily swinging.

Here are some shots. Me with my "daughter" Logan

Jack lives United


Here's your Where's Waldo moment. Can you see Jack??

Jack after about three hours.

Jack and his new friend, Hines Ward.

Quick Hits

Ok, some quick hits.

Last week, I received an email from our CEO that they were having try outs for 5-12 year old "regular kids" for a nationally televised NFL/United Way commercial that was shooting in Dallas.

So, I thought it could be fun to take my "regular kid" to see if he could make the list!

Yesterday, I heard that he did!

So, not only will he be in the group commerical, today, they called to ask if he was available to be featured in a different commercial! AND they are going to pay him $100!

I told Jack that he was getting paid for this and his response was, "Mommy, they can't pay me $100, I'm only a kid not an adult!"

Anyway, more on this tomorrow when we finish!

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Went to Boston this weekend to see my BFF Jana. She's been going through a bit of a tough time recently and I just wanted to head up there for some girl time.

We had such a great time. Here we are outside of Fenway (woot woot!) where we went to go pick up some updated Sox gear for the kids.

Can I just say not only was it heaven to see my dearest, being in Boston in the middle of summer in Dallas is like being in God's air conditioner. I kept asking Jana to go outside. Last night, I slept with all the windows open...under a heavy blanket....ahhhhhhh.

Arrived home today to 104 degrees Dallas. BAM! Back to reality!

You Better Watch Out!

Does this ad scare anyone else as much as it does me??

He's watching......

A Father's Day Story

First, a very happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there in cyberland. I hope you are having a wonderful day.

Here's our Father's Day story:

Last night, Jon and I decided to take advantage of a little YMCA (who invented Father's Day, by the way!) membership perk, Parents Night Out. This is a deal and a half for us. Our kids get to spend the night out playing with other kids, it is SUPER cheap for us!

So, we decided to take the kids to the Y and go see The Hangover (hilarious, by the way, in a raunchy, oh this is just wrong kinda way). We were feeling pretty good, I must say.

Babysitter: $10
Movie, popcorn, and drink: Free (I had reward points)
Time alone on a cheap date: Priceless

Here's the flip side. We knew we would be paying for our wonderful date today. We did not pick up the kids until 10:30pm. Jack was half asleep, Eva was wide awake and bubbly.

Payment came due.

This morning, kids woke up bright and early. Since Sunday is my day to wake up with the kids anyway, I was up bright and early. Jack is fine. Eva wakes up and, boy, is she a treat.

A sample interaction:
Me: "Eva. Here's your cereal."
The charmer: "NOOOOOO! I WANT THE BLUE TURTLE BOWL!!!" This is followed by newspaper, napkins and whatever is near being chucked to the floor.

My usual response to this is to carry her little bottom to her room and when the devil has decided to exorcise himself from her, sweet Eva comes out.

Multiply this conversation by about 6 and that's how the morning went. Happy Freakin' Father's Day!!!

Jon wakes up, (I'm sure the screaming and head-spinning-walking backwards on the ceiling Eva didn't help), and decides to have us celebrate his big day by going to the Dallas World Aquarium and to lunch. I'm thinking this is a pretty good thing.

Get to the aquarium, Eva is a dream. She's laughing, having fun, holy cow, the Eva we know and love is there. I can get the priest off of speed dial.

Here are the kids with our good friend Ricardo, who does a Mayan dance routine every weekend at the Aquarium. See how happy they look?


Then lunch.

We order our food. Eva decides that she wants to butter her own bread. I tell her that she can do the next piece.

That was all she wrote.

I tried to reason with her. This was to no avail. Toast got thrown. Shoes got thrown. Jon took her outside to let her "scream it out". Nothing. Eva was OUT OF CONTROL. Oh, did I mention that she also bit me? HARD! Yea me!

So, in an effort to salvage Jon's Father's Day, I took Eva home for a nap.

Jon decided to stay at the place we ordered lunch and I picked him up after Eva's nap. Jon's lunch spot? The pub, where he was for three and a half hours. No wife, no kids, and a credit card.
Happy Father's Day, Jon!

A little update:
Eva finally woke up. She was an angel. Happy, happy, happy! When we were in the car on our way to get Jon, she was in the back seat singing this song: "Eva is the sweetest girl, sweetest girl, sweetest girl. Eva is the sweetest girl..." Oh, yeah. She's sweet alright!

Ice Castles

Today, we had a birthday party for some classmates of Jack's. They had a party at the ice rink here in Dallas. I told the Mom of the party that I was pretty sure she did this to humiliate the parents. She told me that it was just an added bonus. :)

Now, I have always loved going ice skating. I've never been necessarily skilled in ice skating but have always found it very fun.

Jon played ice hockey in high school and often says that he married me so that we would have tall children so they could play ice hockey. Not sure how that's working out for Jon but whatever.

So, back to the party. We all four get skates. I had thought that Jack would be a bit hesitant at first but then really take to it once he figured it out. Eva, on the other hand, is a bit picky on things she likes to do. She does things on her own time. Also, she often wants to be carried around most of the time rather than walk. So, I thought that this would not interest her in the slightest. Not so, Grasshopper.

We get out on the ice. Jon has Eva, I have Jack. I told Jack that he had to wait on the side for just a minute so I could skate one time around by myself. I mean, it's been YEARS and I needed to get my bearings!

As I made my way around, I skated at a snail's pace past Eva and Jon. I think I was blinded by the gigantic smile on Eva's face. She just kept saying over and over, "Mommy, this is fuuuun!"

I made it back to Jack who was terrified. But, we made it once around together and he did great. I then decided that if I was with him, he would not learn. So, I had him go by himself by hanging on the side. By the end of the session, Jack was a pro!

Eva? Well, not surprisingly, she decided after five minutes that she could absolutely do this on her own. She would not let us hold her for anything! We finally convinced her to let us hold her hand while she held on to the side. That seemed to appease her. When we left, Eva was sobbing. She kept saying, Eva skate! Eva skate!

All in all, we laughed and laughed and had so much fun as a family. Who knew ice skating the middle of Texas summer would be so great. Yes, Eva it was fuuuuuun!

Confession Tuesday

Happy Tuesday!
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As I write this, my husband has turned on Citizen Kane on TCM. Jon does not like old movies unless they are war movies (ugh) so it is a rare treat for me to get to watch a movie in black and white that we both like!
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I know that I write about this a lot but I do love old movies. I could spend all weekend long on AMC, TCM and FMC. Oh, and it if it is a musical, look out! I'm one happy gal.
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Jack and Eva play doctor a lot. Tonight, Eva was giving me a physical while wearing her doctor coat. She checked my blood pressure, took my temperature, checked my ears and then pulled down my shirt to "access my port". Then, Jack diagnosed me as having an ear infection with the treatment of chemotherapy. The good news, of course, as he told me, was that I would not lose my hair. He mixed a special formula of chemotherapy with medicine that makes my hair grow. Now, why has no one thought of that before???
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I often wonder about the long-term effects of the last 15 months on the kids. Honestly, maybe it will be that they both just turn out as doctors. I can't imagine that practice, Dr. Jack and Dr. Eva. Both fighting to maintain control. Jack taking everything so literally, Dr. Western Medicine, Eva feeling their pain and wanting to practice some Eastern medicine. Oh, to be a fly on the wall there!
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Today, I almost got into a wreck on my way to a meeting. My lane ended and I was attempting to merge with another driver. She would not move. She was right at my passenger rear door. I could not slow down to merge because I was sure to hit her from the back side. So, I hit a couple cones as I tried to avoid her car. As I gave her some "signals" that said, hello there, madame, this is a merge lane, her signal to me was to "bring it on". I think if I had the chance, I might have punched her in the freaking face. Oh, sister, I would "bring it" for sure.
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I'm not exactly what you would call a violent person. I'm actually pretty even keeled. Mostly happy, even. I don't know why I wanted to punch her freaking face, to be honest. Make no mistake, however, I would have knocked her lights out. It's a MERGE! MERGE for goodness sakes!
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I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Let me be upfront and say that I just love Facebook. I love reconnecting with old friends. I love that this is a great way for my gigantic family to stay connected. It is so easy for us.

There are a couple of things, however, that have been bothering me recently:

1) I hate hate hate hate the new home page. It's not that I hate the format, it's fine. I just hate seeing all the crap that all my friends are doing, no offense to my friends. I love seeing your pictures that you post. I love seeing your status updates. I love seeing your notes. It's just those "do you know me quiz" answers, mafia wars (??), so and so sent such and such a drink, etc. Why do I have to see all that stuff? It takes me 25 minutes just to check out what my friends are doing. Isn't that the purpose of this thing?? You post your thoughts and people comment on it? Why muck it all up with all that other jazz? I just don't get it.

2) Facebook even changed the "Friends" page. Even with the new formatted home page, you used to be able to sneak through the friends page to see just the status update. Alas, no more.

3) Can I have a bit of a moment of "Facebook Etiquette?" This is a small thing but I just have one request. If you are mad at someone, please do not use their "wall" or your status update to voice your grievances. This comes up on my home page. It is just depressing for me to log on to see what you're up to only to find that someone, like two high school friends, are mad at each other.

This rule especially applies if you are a member of my family. Trust me when I tell you that this brings into action an immediate Goodnight Mom family phone tree. It's not pretty, I tell you. It's hours and hours of intra-familial discussion.

I know this is a bit strange coming from a blogger who often talks about my personal feelings. However, when I rant, I don't usually rant about people that you actually know in person. This is unless you happen to be related to Dr. Senior Moment Lady or perhaps that person in the car earlier today. If you are, well, then I'm sorry. Truly, I am. See how sincere I am?
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One of my co-workers suggested that I take a look at this website called www.findyourspot.com It is basically one of those sites where you put in lots of information and it tells you what city/town in the US best suits your needs. I answered this completely honestly last Friday night. I did not restrict myself to any part of the US. I selected both medium and large towns. Just thought I would see where this site thinks I should live.

Want to know the #1 suggested place? Norfolk, VA, my hometown. No kidding. It was hilarious! Guess I just loves me some hometown!

Good thing is that Norfolk ended up in the top 3 for Jon so if I have to move back home, at least I can take my husband with me...whew!
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When I came home from work today, Jack was standing on a 7 foot ladder with a hammer, assisting our contractor with replacing some 2 x4's on the roof. I nearly had a heart attack. He was undaunted and when I was leaping over our grill and brick wall to catch to him before he fell, he very calmly came down. He then grabbed a piece of wood to measure it. He took a pencil from our contractor's pocket, grabbed measuring tape and wrote on the piece of wood the exact measurements of it. Then, he took the measuring tape, put it in his back pocket and put the pencil behind his ear before taking the wood to the contractor's truck. He looked 25 years old. I just stood there and watched my life pass before my eyes. My baby's all growd up.
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On the flip side, tonight at dinner, Eva grabbed her hot dog, rubbed it on her lips and said, "Hot dog makeup, Daddy!" I don't know why we just thought that was so hilarious. Maybe that would be a good fragrance for a new line of child lip gloss. Hot dog, cheeseburger, chicken tender...all their favorites. Hmmm, maybe I'm on to something!
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Goodnight Mom, needs your help! My hub and I are looking for a getaway for July 4 weekend. We have arranged for a sitter. Jon works for an airline so we fly for free. However, we have some financial constraints on where we stay. So, my question is, where should we go? Anyone have any good suggestions?

I would love to go to a place we've never been before, which pretty much excludes most everything east of the Mississippi. Not all, so if you've got a good suggestion...I'll take it!

That's it for me. I hope you all have a great week and if you see someone trying to merge, please, please, please let them in.

Andrew Hubbard

This post is a week or so late. As I mentioned, I've been a bit lazy on the writing front recently.

Last Wednesday, I was walking into our Board of Directors monthly meeting and got a phone call from my sister, Angela.

She was in labor and off to the hospital.

I went to my meeting and then raced to the airport to try to get there in time. You see, this is my sister's fourth child. We weren't sure exactly how long she would be in labor. I kept envisioning the scene from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life where the Mum is washing dishes and has the baby. "Get that, would you dearie?"

Anyway, missed the first flight, sadly, no room. Got on the next one and ended up in Pinehurst at 1:30am.

At 6:00am, my darling little Andrew Hubbard made his appearance. He gave us quite a scare at first coming out in a lovely shade of blue but Angela's doctor was quite masterful and he was pink within seconds.

Andrew is a name they like but Hubbard is Dyda's and my father's middle name. That little fella has a lot to live up to!

Andrew was 8 lbs 11 oz (I won the pool, by the way, I said 8lbs 12oz). Quite a chunky fella.

Now, my sister has two girls and two boys. The perfect little family. Angela was quite the trooper, as her blood counts did not allow her to have any drugs. I don't know how she did it. She looks amazing here!

As for me, I was back at my desk on Friday morning. 36 hours from departure. Took me about four days to recover but totally worth it.

Aunt Binky + Andrew = TLA

Welcome to our family, little fella!!!

A Port in the Storm

Well, I'm home from the hospital.

It was a bit of a crazy morning. Jon and I were trying to distract Eva from wanting something to eat and drink by showing her television, an unheard of treat for a weekday morning!

Eva went to get dressed this morning and demanded that she wear her favorite shirt, her signed Imagination Movers shirt. Guess what? It's filthy. FILTHY. I mean, she wears that thing nearly every single day. But, there was no talking her out of it today. How do you reason with someone who says, "Eva go to hospital get port out? Eva wear Movers shirt!" Dirty shirt, it is.

As I mentioned yesterday, I have been a blubbering idiot for the past 48 hours or so. Thought that maybe I would be better today. As we got into the car, you can guess (or "Imagine" as it were) that Eva demanded that we listen to the Movers. The good news is that they have a new cd out that has some pretty rockin' songs on it so that mixes up our collection somewhat.

Anyway, back to my blubbering. Was in the car listening and singing along to the Movers when just as we were pulling up to the hospital, the song they wrote about Mothers came on. Eva and Jack love this song and it reduces me to tears each time they sing it to me, anyway. Today? WAY WORSE. Eva screamed as it came on, "Mommy, this is your song!!!" Then, she was in the back seat, "I love my moooom, I love my moooom."

Waterworks.

After I stopped sobbing, we pulled in. We were told to be at the hospital by 8am for her 10am surgery. So, we got there, got checked in, saw all our nurse friends and Dr. Lenarsky in the hall and then went to the playroom.

Eva went into surgery to have her port removed at 10am. About 30 min later, the doctor came out and told us he was finished! VERY fast.

A funny Jack note. Yesterday, he got it in his head that he wanted to see the port. I told him that I was not sure it was possible. So, last night, he asked me 15 times to at least ask the doctor. This morning, it was my only instruction. "Do not forget to ask Dr. Kadesky if I can have the port." Of course, the doctor was happy to do it. So, he came bringing us the port in a sealed bag. To say Jack was thrilled is an understatement. He immediately wanted to insert it into some of Eva's dolls. We've either got a budding surgeon or a serial killer on our hands. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the surgeon.

After surgery, Eva took some time in recovery but came out of anesthesia very cheerful. We got in the car and she demanded that I give her ice cream and crank up the bass of the Movers cd. She'll be just fine.

That is a good day. The hard part is, of course, preventing her from leaping off of furniture and dive-bombing into stuff. At least today, anyway!

Here are some shots at the hospital. First is of Eva and me. Second is Daddy teaching Eva some skills she can use to put herself through college.

It's a good day here. I'll keep my sobbing to a minimum.

Confession Tuesday

On a Wednesday!
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Had tried to hop in the confessional last night but a certain hubby of mine hijacked my computer. I went to bed WELL before he was finished.
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Lots going on here in Goodnight Mom Land. We've been very busy over here. Have not been posting at all. Don't know why, really. Just tired, I guess. I hate when I go for long periods of time between posts. Strange thing is that I think of things to post all day long. Like, hey, maybe I should write about this or that. Then, I get home, watch TV and crash. I'm so lame.
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Jack finishes up his pre-K school year tomorrow. My little boy will be in Kindergarten next year. I took Jack to school today because I won't be able to tomorrow. I went to thank his teachers and burst into tears. Then, I went to talk to the school administrator and burst into tears, again. Got into my car and sobbed the whole way into work.

The thing is, we have had a LONG year with Eva. It started out with chemo and Jack in constant trouble. Those folks at the kid's school are absolutely amazing. I don't know where we would have been without their infinite patience and support.

You know, I happened to have found that school on a whim. I was looking for a place for Jack to go when I was pregnant with Eva so that when she arrived, I would not have Jack sitting at home just staring at her all day. Most mother's day out programs were 9-12p. Too short. OR very expensive. Not an option.

I was heading to the library one afternoon and passed this sign for a mom's day out program. I turned the car around and popped in. I signed Jack up before I left that day. We fell in love with the school immediately. We found a home for our kids when we weren't really looking.

Then, during Eva's diagnosis and subsequent treatments, the family support we received was amazing. We hardly knew any of the families who brought us food. It was overwhelming. I don't know how we would have done it without that help.

Jack had a rough start to the year. With Eva in and out of the hospital, losing her hair, my grandfather dying, it was a tough fall for a four-year old. His teachers were incredible. The difference in Jack over the year, well, I don't think I have enough words to say how grateful I am to them.

I just hope they are ready for Eva five days a week next year! Look out!!
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I'm also sad that several of the families we have become friends with are leaving the school. I know this is the case every year for folks but Jack is in Montessori so the kids are aged 3-6 in one class. Jack has the same teacher for three school years.

At the end of each school year, kids leave kindergarten for first grade. Many folks at the school put them in public school at this point. The thing is that you have so many of the same parents in your classroom for several years. So, your kids become friends, you become friends, etc. It is just hard at the end of the year.

As my Texan co-worker said so eloquently today, " 'come-a-flood!" (That means "bring on the waterworks" to the rest of us)
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A huge part of the reason I'm so emotional today is that Eva is getting her port taken out tomorrow morning. (YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I'm on the hospital Family Advisory Board and we had a meeting last night. I was chatting with one of the mom's there and she said that although Eva was having a minor surgery, it was monumental in meaning.

She was absolutely right. I, of course, since I seem to have no control over my emotions these days (no, I'm not pregnant), burst into tears.

This is monumental. It means that the doctors feel that she does not have a high risk of growth right now. I'm so hopeful that it is forever but for now, I'm just so happy.
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I tried to tell my co-workers the story of going to Jack's school and the port discussion today over lunch. However, I burst into tears and could not finish.

Dude, I need to get it together...bad.
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We had a couple of layoffs at work this week. A dear colleague of mine was let go. It was so hard to see her walk out the door and there is a hole in our small group without her. I know it was entirely a business decision but it really has been tough. We sure miss her.
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Gosh, I really sound depressed, don't I? I'm really not. Just an emotionally swinging week.

Oh, here's something fun. We had a birthday party on Saturday morning at Pump It Up. For those not in the Big D, that is a place that has rooms of inflatables.

The mom of the child brought extra socks so that parents could jump around with their kids and play, too.

Guess which Mom was first in line? Yep! Yours truly. Jack and I laughed and laughed and jumped and raced each other on the obstacle course. I'm not quite sure which one of us had more fun!

Here's the real confession. My elbows are RAW from where I was sliding down the slide over and over. I was laughing so hard that I did not notice my skin ripping away. So, each elbow has a scab that still hurts, by the way! Jack? He's just fine.
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I also had a friend turn 60 (or 30 x 2, as she put it) on Sunday. She had her party at the Czech club. Jon became obsessed with us joining. The only criteria is that you have to be Catholic. Check for one of us! Anyway, Jon wants me to join so that we could be the first ones with a Jewish last name to join the KJT. Well, that and the non-stop polka music and cheap beer. We might. Since we are a "mutt" couple, it would be fun to just adopt the Czechs as our own (or maybe have them adopt us! Please??)

Eva was hilarious at the party, as usual. When the polka music starts, Eva hits the dance floor. She demands that each one of you get up from the table and dance along with her. I was trying to catch up with some old friends and had to keep dancing!
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Off to bed. I'll post tomorrow the results of the surgery. We go in at 10a so if you happen to be thinking of Eva, please say a quick prayer for her.

Chic-Fil-A

Oh, how I love thee....

Lunch: A True Story

Today is gorgeous here in Dallas. I mean, off the charts gorgeous. Sunny, 75 degrees or so. I'm wearing these nice white pants (yes, a week before Memorial Day...lay off me!) and just feel spring is in the air.

A pal of mine who called me earlier to rub in the fact that he was at the Byron Nelson and not, in fact at work, suggested that for lunch I take a stroll through downtown.

Excellent idea.

Off I go by myself to lunch. Now, I really don't mind eating lunch by myself. I obviously prefer to hang with my friends but today I was solo. I picked up a newspaper and was ready to settle in for lunch.

I find a restaurant that serves my all time favorite--the crab cake sandwich. I'm sitting outside, crab cake sandwich is coming, wind is blowing softly, all is well.

Crab cake arrives. Crab cake comes with steak fries. Steak fries need ketchup. Can you guess where this is headed?

So, I grab the ketchup, turn it over and WHAM! Ketchup pours everywhere. All over my plate, all over my new cellphone and that's right, all over my nice white pants.

Suddenly, I noticed that EVERYONE was staring. People in the restaurant, the giant group of people walking back to their offices on the street. It was as if someone knew this was going to happen and said, "Hey everyone! This is gonna be GOOOD!!!"

Suddenly, I felt completely aware that I was utterly alone. If I had friends with me, I would have laughed so hard I would pee. Alone? I wanted to just crawl under the table.

The song in my head went from my happy "I'm Eating a Crab Cake" song to "All by myseeeeelf, don't wanna be..."

Oh, did I mention that I still had to make the five block trek back to the office in my ketchup pants?

Yeah me!

I, Robot

Confession Tuesday on a Wednesday! I was on the phone very late last night and just was too tired to write. So, here I am tonight!
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Hello all! I can't believe what a week it was last week! It seems like such a blur. When the nurse called to give me the news, I was in a state of shock.

It went something like this:

Nurse: "Kristi, Eva's tumor is stable. That means no growth which is great news since we are so far out of treatment and we have not seen any growth at all since round 2 of chemo!"

Me: completely monotone. "I see. Ok. Well, what are our next steps? Do we just have her port removed? When do we need to be seen again?"

Nurse: Silence. Then, "Um. Let me check"

Nurse: "Doctor says yes, take the port out"

Me: Silence.

Nurse: "Kristi?"

Me: Sobbing full throttle. No words coming.

Nurse: "Are you ok? Are you happy?"

Me: Still sobbing.

This goes on for a few minutes. Finally, I apologized for my inability to communicate. Hung up the phone and had a similar conversation with Jon.

My awesome co-workers came out of the restaurant where we were having lunch. I could not stop crying long enough to even tell them what was going on. I was just in shock.
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The fact is, I absolutely felt with 100% certainty we were not going to get that news. I knew that no matter how much I hoped and prayed that Eva for SURE had a return of her cancer.

It is strange. I NEVER talk like that. But, the fact is that Eva had been having those random otherwise benign symptoms for several months. Combine that with the slightly rising cathecolemines and I knew we were in for trouble. I just could not believe the news.
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I was completely mortified when I came to my senses that anyone other than Jon saw me cry. I don't know why I'm such a freak when it comes to that but I AM! I have said this before but I absolutely cannot stand PDE (public displays of emotion). My job is to be happy all the time. That is my comfort zone. Happiness.
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When I interviewed for my current position, they asked me to take this online personality test, basically. You have to rank these random things and somehow it tells you what kind of person you are. My test could not have been more accurate if I had filled it out, myself.

What is interesting about it? It talks a lot about my focus on being unemotional and incredibly focused on my work. How it can tell that by my choosing between a taco and a baby panda is beyond me.

My pal and I were comparing ours the other day and we just decided that I was basically a robot with no feelings.
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The weird part of it all is that nothing makes me happier than to cry in a movie. I don't care WHO hears me! Jon tells a hilarious story (well, it's hilarious when he tells it) about me watching Whale Rider. Holy crap. That's the mother load of sobbing movies. I just could not control myself. It felt great. Maybe that's my problem. I hide behind fiction and not reality for my emotional release. Hmmm, time for therapy!
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Between having a bit of a tough week at the office (nothing major, just tough) and the Eva worry, I was a complete zombie on Friday afternoon. A friend of mine would say that it looked as if someone tripped on my cord and I just became unplugged from the wall. (hmm, more robot references??)

Earlier in the week, my awesome pal, Rhonda, offered to take care of the kids on Friday night so Jon and I could go out. Post-Eva news/tough week, I was absolutely dead and just wanted to sit on the couch and stare at the wall. But, since my awesome pal, Rhonda, offered to take care of the kids and Jon really wanted to go out, I knew I had to rally.

To the rescue? My also awesome co-workers who took me across the street for a quick celebratory shot of tequila. That will fire you up for the night!
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On Friday night, Jon and I went to Neighborhood Services. This place is terrific. Not only is the food good but they make a drink at the bar called a Slazenger 1. Let me tell you, it is so good, it will make you slap yo mamma!

SLAZENGER 1: Pimms Number One 9/Square One organic cucumber vodka/basil/ cucumber/ red grapefruit/hand charged seltzer

Three of those later, I was really fired up and ready for the night!
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Spent most of the rest of the weekend sleeping (not hungover, actually, just sleeping). It rained all day on Saturday so it was the perfect day for me to just sleep and sleep. I was so grateful to Jon for keeping the kids away so I could rest my brain.
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That's about it. I'm having a good week at work this week, though! All is brighter. I think that for once, I will allow myself to feel good about where Eva is. At least for now, it's time to celebrate and enjoy the summer. We'll deal with the next MRI news in September.
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One final note of the night and it has only to deal with my television watching.
1) Very sad Gilles did not win Dancing with the Stars. Shawn was fine but Gilles really deserved it.
2) I'm so very beyond words excited about The Bachelorette's return. I love me some Jillian! I just hope these guys aren't the tools they appear to be. Who are we kidding? Of COURSE they are! If you watch the show, you have to check out Lincee's blog. She writes a recap of the show each week and has for many seasons. She is hilarious!!!
3) Rescue Me and My Boys are having the greatest seasons this year. Laugh out loud funny. Both of them. If you are not watching these shows and have a rather bawdy and off-color sense of humor and are not easily offended, well, you've come home to your shows. If you are easily offended, please let me formally apologize for anything and everything that comes out of my mouth/hand.
4) I don't watch Idol. But, I do usually watch the last couple of episodes to see who won. Having absolutely no emotional ties to either contestant tonight, I firmly believe that the other guy (Adam, maybe?) should have won. He was a far superior singer.

Robot Mom, signing out.

Maybe it WAS the Cheez-its!!!

Just heard from the doctor! Eva's tumor is STABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That means that there is no new growth and that tiny little smaller than a thumbnail tumor might not ever grow again! YIPPEE!

Here's what it means overall:

Our doctor appointments are now every other month. We scan again in four months.

Next week, I'll schedule Eva's port removal.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

No more Cheez-its!

Tomorrow

Good evening all!

Just a quick post tonight. Eva has her MRI at 7am tomorrow.

I'm, of course, in panic mode.

You know, I am a very positive person. I always just think good thoughts about everything. But the fact is, when your child is sick, you just have to hope and pray all is well and prepare yourself for bad news.

Eva, of course, is just fine. Running around like a maniac. You would never know this child has ever been ill.

Her mom? Well, every time Eva sweats at night, I think it is cancer. Every time Eva has a diaper rash, I think it is cancer. Every time Eva has a slight fever, I think it is cancer.

I'm really ready for some good news tomorrow so that I can just go back to being the apathetic-non-reactive-stop your whining and suck it up- parent I once was.

I miss her.

Confession Tuesday

Well, I'm stepping into the confessional for the first time in a while.
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I'm writing this while watching the semi-finals of Dancing with the Stars. Gosh, I'll miss that show when it goes off next week. What will I do on Monday and Tuesday nights??

Show is over. Sad to see Ty go home. He gave me some great soundbites, that's for sure!
*******
I just ate my last two Girl Scout Cookies. I have been saving those treasures in the freezer for a while. So, I guess that it will be next year before I get my hands on those Samoas again. Goodbye, delicious caramel, coconut and chocolate on a crisp butter cookie. I shall dream of you until we meet again....
*******
Speaking of dreams, I was having one the other night. I was dreaming that Jon and I were on a bed that was on a conveyor belt. Jon in his sleep was about to roll off the conveyor belt. So, I grabbed him to save him from certain death.

Well...turns out that in reality, Jon was sound asleep in our bed (not on a conveyor belt) and I pounced on him in the middle of the night to "save" him. He told me the next day that after I grabbed him, I just shot up out of bed and stared at him before he coaxed me back to sleep.

It's been a while since I had middle of the night antics but I'm sure they keep Jon on his toes.
*******
My middle of the night antics are almost always stress related. I can't imagine what I have to be stressed about.
*******
I love my son. I mean, honestly just adore him. Just when he drives you to insanity with his neediness and energy, he pulls something like this.

He told me that he was "King of All Butterflies" just before I took this picture.

*******

Oh, man, do I miss New Orleans. I have to say I was pretty depressed as we left the Fairgrounds on the last Sunday. I look so forward to this vacation every single year and when it is over, it just makes me sad.

*******

I saw some awesome music. What is amazing about Fest is how you can plan to go to one stage but pass three incredible stages along the way. It is the surprise music that makes this so fun.

For example, several years ago, I remember passing the Jazz Tent and hearing this amazing kid play a trombone. I stayed, danced, and had a great time. Well, several years later, that "kid", Trombone Shorty, was on the poster for Fest. If you ever have a chance to see him, I highly recommend it.

*******

Let's see. Let me cover the food I ate: conchon de lait (pulled pork sandwich--to die for!), shrimp bun (a fairly new Vietnamese noodle dish that is soooo great), spring rolls from same Vietnamese vendor, crawfish sack, oyster patty, crawfish beignets, crawfish bread and, of course, crawfish monica, a JazzFest staple. I would have covered more territory but did not get to spend as much time eating as I would have liked.

*******
Oh, man, for a brief moment, I was reunited with my boyfriend, Jon Bon Jovi. It was heaven. Yes, I'm wearing my Bon Jovi hat that I purchased at the concert. On the back, it says, "New Jersey". Awesome.

Happy Mother's Day

Hello all, in Cyberland!

I've been on radio silence for a bit because I took a wonderful vacation with my family. We went to the JazzFestival in New Orleans, as I have done for the past 19 years. When I came back, I had a pretty tough week at work so I was pretty drained each night when I came home. Nothing dramatic, just a tough week.

As for the kids and the vacation, well, the kids had a blast.

I have lots of stories to tell and lots of pictures. For now, I'll just give you a brief update on what we've been doing.

Jon and the kids went to New Orleans and Miss for 10 days. Since I had my conference here in Dallas, I met them on Wed night. We stayed until Monday morning when we drove on back to Dallas.

The very second we walked in, Jon trotted off to the potty and to get a shower. I was a little miffed because I wanted him to clean out the car while we still had daylight. I went in to tell him to move it along when I noticed he was not in the shower. It was the toilet overflowing at a rapid rate. Ugh.

Well, $200 and two visits from a plumber later, we discovered that those "flushable" toddler wipes were not so flushable. Something about a "dam" effect (not a "damn" effect as I would say!)
*******
Also breaking this week, our television! We knew it was coming, to be honest. For the last couple of weeks, when you turned it on, it would make a loud "doing" sound. Not good for a tv.

As you can imagine, Jon and I are hardly early adopters when it comes to technology. We got a DVR less than a year ago, before that, we were using vcr tapes. I bought Jon an ipod about 18 months ago and he let it sit in the box for two months before I took it and started loading in music (he loves it now, by the way). In fact, we only have one television and it was over 10 years old AND it was a gift from a friend for our wedding.

So, yesterday, I went to Best Buy just to begin the search. I am a repeat customer there, having bought my previous television from them about 15 years ago. I was like, "so, this plasma thing vs lcd? What gives?" " Um, any of these televisions going to last me 10 years because that's about my threshold."

Jon is off at the store making the final decision on our purchase. We were down to two and I'm not sure which one he decided to go with. Not that I really care, honestly, as long as it works and does not break within the next seven years, I'll be just fine.
*******
Um, let's see, what else. Eva has her MRI scheduled for this Friday. I'm not thinking about it.
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Oh, some good news! Star Trek was awesome! If you have some time, definitely check it out.
*******
Finally, Happy Mother's Day to all my mother pals out there. I've had a great day so far. Jon let me sleep in and then made me a delish breakfast. We went out on our TV search and now, I'm just relaxing a bit while Eva sleeps and Jack attempts to not bother me. Yea, Mother's Day!

I do want to say a special Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. While I struggle to juggle two children and their activities, personality quirks/drama, and energy, somehow, my mother managed to raise eight children. I am exhausted to even think about how that is possible.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!!

A Plumbing Problem

I might have mentioned this a time or seven but it seems as if every time Jon goes out of town, something crazy with the house happens and I have to take care of it. You might recall the story of the storm and the tree falling on the carport, or perhaps the "monster in the hamper" incident when a possum some how crawled into my house and into my laundry basket.

Well, here we are, again. Freaky emergency.

Tonight, I had to pack for my big trip to meet my family in New Orleans. I got in all my shows (Dancing with the Stars, My Boys and Rescue Me) and was feeling pretty good about going to bed at 11pm.

Fast forward to 1:30am.

I'm dead asleep. Then, I hear it, gurgle gurgle gurgle water rushing gurgle water rushing, coming from the bathroom.

I leap out of bed and immediately see that the tub and the toilet have water and it is rising. I grab a plunger. No help. I try to use it on the bathtub. No help. I start to run through the house. No liquid plumber. Can't find the snake. UGH! Gurgle gurgle water rushing....

Call Jon. No answer. Call Jon again. No answer. Water rushing gurgle gurgle water rushing.

Stop.

Wha? It suddenly stopped. Water starts to drain from bathtub and from toilet. Ok, bad dream. Go back to bed. Call plumber in the morning.

15 minutes later. Gurgle gurgle gurgle water rushing water rushing. Call Jon. No answer. Darnit Jon where is your phone??? Find the snake. Try to snake the bathtub. No luck. Where is the water cut off? Call Jon. No answer. Must make horrible call to Jon's mother's house phone at 2am. Oh, God. "Um, Phyllis? I'm so sorry to bother you, there's a plumbing emergency. May I speak to Jon?"

Jon gets on the phone. No answers to my problem. No idea where the cut off is. GREAT. Must take trip to CVS at 2am to get liquid plumber. Jon says to call him on his cell when I get back home.

Get back home, liquid plumber goes in. All water gone.

Call Jon. No answer.

Sleep well, honey. I've got it all under control over here.

JazzFest Weekend

Ok, lots to post today.

Jon and the kids are in New Orleans at the JazzFest. I had a conference here this weekend in Dallas so I stayed behind to work.

Now, before you all think I've lost my mind and missed my FIRST JAZZFEST IN 19 YEARS, not to worry. I'm heading out there on Wednesday. Oh, have I mentioned that Jon Bon Jovi is playing there on Saturday?? YES! BON JOVI IS AT JAZZFEST! Wahoo!!!

Anyhoo, thought I would post a couple of pics that Jon sent to me of the kids. They, of course, went to see the Imagination Movers on Saturday. They loves them some Movers!! Oh, and for those Mom's out there, recognize the gal with the kids?? It's Nina!

Hand and Foot

Sometimes bad days can just be very well-timed.

Four weeks ago, we had scheduled a gathering with some friends to play Hand and Foot tonight.

For those not in "the know", hand and foot is an awesome card game very simliar to canasta. It is the main source of entertainment for my family when we gather together.

A couple of weeks ago, I taught some friends at our girls weekend away to play. We sat down and played for 7 straight hours. It was so much fun.

As we all sat down to play tonight, I felt very "Desperate Housewives-y" as my girlfriends gathered to gossip, drink wine and play some cards.

Since I had left the office depressed and since I'm at home all by myself (Jon and the kids are in New Orleans at the JazzFest), this diversion really helped pull me out of the funk.

It's so great to have girlfriends. I'm so blessed.

Maybe It Was the Cheez-its

Well, talked to the doctor today. Turns out that Eva's HVA counts are up. Actually, a pretty big jump from last month . Her VMA counts were down just a bit.

So, what does that mean for those non-NB pals of mine? Well, these are tumor markers. Eva shows whether or not there is cancer present in her body based on these levels. The higher the levels, the more likely there is for tumors.

Good news is that the doctor is not pushing the panic button for now, as the counts are still within normal level. The last time we went through this in June, the counts stayed in "normal" for several months, slowly increasing towards abnormal.

The next step is to have an MRI, which we already scheduled for early May.

Another piece of good news is that it may be nothing. These tests can react to food that you eat. It is not likely that they will jump so high as a result of food, but hey, at this point, I'm going to hold on to anything.

Keeping Eva away from those Cheez-its.

Another Angel

I'm in NC today with my family for Easter. I sat down this morning to write a post about Easter and all the antics of the kids today.

Before I started writing, I went to check on a neuroblastoma friend Erin only to discover that God has another angel.

I have been following Erin and her amazing story ever since we entered this crazy world a year or so ago.

Erin was gorgeous, brave, hilarious and had the happiest smile you have ever seen.

On this Holiest of days, please keep Erin in your prayers as she makes her way to her new home.
Erin, thank you for gracing those of us who knew you with your wonderful personality. I, for one, will never forget you.

Monsters vs. Aliens

Spent an awesome weekend away with the gals camping in East TX.

When I got home, I had planned to take Jack to see Monsters vs Aliens. Like my BFF, Jana, who also took her kids today, I had reservations about taking Jack to a PG movie at age 5. But, they were really marketing this to a young audience and I had done lots of internet and personal research to see if people thought it was appropriate for Jack's age. Everything I heard said yes. Additionally, it was a movie about Monsters and Aliens, two of Jack's favorite topics.

So, off we went to the 3-D version. I was really excited because I thought that Jack would think the 3-D was incredibly cool. That, he did. I don't know I'll ever forget his excitement when it started and things were just popping out all over the place.

As for the movie, well, it was definitely PG for a reason. Some of the jokes were potty driven and thankfully, Jack did not get them. Some other jokes were definitely aimed at adults and were hilarious. Some of the situations were a bit grown up for Jack, too. For example, at one point, the main character referred to her ex as a "selfish jerk." I groaned.

It was pretty action-packed in 3-D. So, when the giant choppers were trying to kill the main character as she was dangling off the Golden Gate Bridge, Jack had to sit in my lap. In addition, at one point, you thought a character was killed and that was tough for me to explain to Jack.

I will say that although he was pretty scared much of the time, when it was over, he could not stop talking about how much he loved it. We went out to dinner, just the two of us, and he just went on and on about how much he liked it. I asked him his favorite part, he said, "everything."

Bottom line? If you have kids under the age of 6 or so, you might want to see the movie first and decide for yourself if you think your child would like it. It might be just fine for your child. Jack really liked it but in retrospect, I probably would have held off and maybe rented it.

Test Results

Got the word this afternoon that the test results were normal!

For those NB folks who know what this means:
Her HVA count was 15.6 up slightly from last month of 12.8 but still well within range of <22. Her VMA was 5.4 down slightly from last month of 6.6 also still within range of <11.

Of course the HVA increase scared me to death but I'm assured that it can fluctuate like blood work. Now, if we are showing an increase for next month, then, that's a trend we should be worried about.

For now, I'll just be happy that we still "normal."

The plan is that we will do this again April 20. If that is "normal" and not showing an increase, we will stick with the plan to do an MRI in May. If that shows good results, we'll remove the port.

Yippee!!

St. Baldrick's Day

Well, what a day we had yesterday participating in St. Baldrick's Day!

First, I want to thank all the folks who either donated to us, came out to support Jon and sent encouraging notes to Jon. We were overwhelmed by it all!

Secondly, I want to thank the folks at Trinity Hall Irish Pub for hosting this event for the 6th year. As many of you know, we spend lots of time at Trinity Hall with the kids. The food is great and it is very family friendly. So, for us to be able to participate in such a great event AND have it at our "home pub", that was just a bonus.

One other thing. In addition to just being a great family place, the wait staff donated ALL their tips from St. Patrick's Day to St. Baldrick's Day event. Can you imagine how much they would make in an Irish Pub on St. Patty's Day? Should tell you alot about what kind of place it is.

On to the event!

We got there. Jon was excited and nervous. It was CROWDED with head shavers and supporters.

Here's something very funny. When Jon was up, they had shaved about 2/3 of his head and I'm not kidding, the power went out. In the WHOLE complex! We had no idea how long it would be out and how long Jon would have this patch on his head! It was hilarious. But, Jon handled it like the champ he is and took it all in stride. I could not stop laughing, of course!

Anyway, here are some of the pics from the day. A special thank you to Will Montgomery who took a bunch of these with his fancy camera and way better photographic eye. His look MUCH better than mine!! Thank you!!!



When we first arrived.

Jon and Eva in the chair.

Here's where we were when the power went out.


Jon gets into his new look!

Some of our friends who came out to support us!

That's it. It was a great day all in all. I managed to not sob openly but did cry just a bit here and there. I'm hoping no one noticed. :) As for my new hot bald hubby, we're going to get Jon some Doc Martens to complete his look. I think the event hit their goal of $150,000 for pediatric cancer research.

One final thing. Tomorrow, we get test results on Eva's montly cathecholemines so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. And, if you have a moment, please give some encouragement to our NB friends, Erin and her mom. Erin is such a light and is having a bit of a rough time. Please do cheer her on.

Eva and Her Hair

I'm going to write about our awesome St. Baldrick's Day a bit later. I just had to post this as I'm on my way out.

I've often said that the one thing that I will be happy with Eva's hair growing out is that people will stop thinking she's a boy. I think that the short hair becomes her and makes her look a bit like a "bad a**" but often people are shocked when they hear she's a girl. I say things like, she's wearing pink shoes? Why would you think she's a boy?

Anyway, back to tonight.

We went out to dinner tonight at one of our favorite german restaurants. I have to say, Eva was a riot. There was an accordian player and Eva demanded that we dance and clap to every song. We were having such a nice time.

As we were starting to leave, I took Eva to the restroom. As I was coming out, this woman was coming in and stopped me.

She said, "How old is he?"

I said, "Oh, she's 2.5yrs"

Woman: "She's a girl?"

Me: "Yes."

Woman with a snarl: "Let her hair grow out!"

Me in shock also with a snarl: "She has cancer. I am letting her hair grow out."

She just stood there. I mean, I have never been so satisified to tell someone that my kid had cancer. Serves her right to tell folks how to cut their children's hair.

The great irony? She had short hair.

Grrrrrrrr.