Lunch: A True Story

Today is gorgeous here in Dallas. I mean, off the charts gorgeous. Sunny, 75 degrees or so. I'm wearing these nice white pants (yes, a week before Memorial Day...lay off me!) and just feel spring is in the air.

A pal of mine who called me earlier to rub in the fact that he was at the Byron Nelson and not, in fact at work, suggested that for lunch I take a stroll through downtown.

Excellent idea.

Off I go by myself to lunch. Now, I really don't mind eating lunch by myself. I obviously prefer to hang with my friends but today I was solo. I picked up a newspaper and was ready to settle in for lunch.

I find a restaurant that serves my all time favorite--the crab cake sandwich. I'm sitting outside, crab cake sandwich is coming, wind is blowing softly, all is well.

Crab cake arrives. Crab cake comes with steak fries. Steak fries need ketchup. Can you guess where this is headed?

So, I grab the ketchup, turn it over and WHAM! Ketchup pours everywhere. All over my plate, all over my new cellphone and that's right, all over my nice white pants.

Suddenly, I noticed that EVERYONE was staring. People in the restaurant, the giant group of people walking back to their offices on the street. It was as if someone knew this was going to happen and said, "Hey everyone! This is gonna be GOOOD!!!"

Suddenly, I felt completely aware that I was utterly alone. If I had friends with me, I would have laughed so hard I would pee. Alone? I wanted to just crawl under the table.

The song in my head went from my happy "I'm Eating a Crab Cake" song to "All by myseeeeelf, don't wanna be..."

Oh, did I mention that I still had to make the five block trek back to the office in my ketchup pants?

Yeah me!