First Day of School

"It's my first day at school, and I'm a little scared, there's a lot to do, but I'm prepared, to brush my teeth and comb my hair, get in my seat, mom takes me there. Gonna wave bye bye, go through the door, learn a little somethin' that I never knew before..." The Imagination Movers, First Day of School

As I dropped both kids off at school today, this song by the Imagination Movers popped in my head. Here I was, dropping my two babies off at school for the first time. Both of them.

Jack was so proud to have his sister there. He took her to his classroom and showed her all around. Then, he introduced her to his teachers and they both shook hands with her. Next, Jack took Eva to her classroom (his old one) and he signed her in. It was too adorable for words.

How did I do? Well, after I literally hid in the bushes for a few minutes watching Jack in the classroom, I went on my way downtown to work...alone.

Sniff, sniff, sob, sob.

I Like to Call Them "Quirks"

My friend, Laura, at Catholic Teacher Musings, tagged me today to discuss "Unspectacular Things" or quirks as a meme. Usually, I'm not so into meme's because I feel like I talk about myself enough on this blog BUT, this one is about quirks and on this subject, I have plenty to say.

The job is to talk about only six of them so I'll have to limit myself.

Here you go:

1) I don't eat mushrooms because I saw a Mr. Rogers episode where he went to a mushroom cave. All the mushrooms were growing directly out of manure and that freaked me out at 6. I have never gotten over it. I'm sure they taste fine. To me, they taste like doo doo.

2) I have a very OCD quality about making sure that things are spaced appropriately. This will apply to my wall hangings, things on my desk, etc. I am a human measuring tape.

3) I have a melt down when I'm sitting at a table and everyone places their silverware in the wrong place. The fork goes on the left. The spoon and knife go on the right. What is wrong with you people??!! While on the subject of forks, I can't handle it when I'm given a fork at a restaurant that has the tongs bent out of place. I have to adjust it until they are correct.

4) I can split my tongue in half. My mother used to say, "white man speak with forked tongue".

5) I sleepwalk and talk in my sleep. I used to do it alot more before I got married but Jon tells some pretty funny stories about my sleep antics. I did used to scare some roomates, though!

6) I can't put eyedrops in my eyes. Totally freaks me out. I mean, FREAKS me out. Bad. Ooooh, get the heebee jeebees just thinking about. Man, have to stop talking...

Since you then have to tag six people, I'll tag Jana, Amy, Nancy, Vicki, Daddy, and Cher. Here are the rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Confession Tuesday

Greetings phor another round oph the confessional!
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On my status on my phacebook, I wrote the other day that I am suphering phrom OSD (Olympic Sleep Deprivation). That's really true. I can't turn it oph! My phriend, Theron, wrote that it was as iph someone had been able to "televise crack". That's the truth. I'm all Olympics, all the time.
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Phor that matter, I'm going to break my usual rule oph hating when people change the letters oph things and let me just say, I'm a Phelps Phan!
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Ok, I'll stop. But let me just say, that when I recently stated that all life events can relate to the musical Hairspray, the song, "Good Morning, Baltimore" never had more meaning!
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AWESOME OLYMPIC MOMENT! Back in April, I wrote about our time at Jazzfest and how Cheryl, Hannah and I went to Fest by ourselves and assumed our alter twenty-something (well, at least early 30-something) egos, Shug, Coco and Doz. Anyway, the reason we did that is because we had met these cute boys who I immediately identified as swimmers. We hung out with the cute boys and just danced and partied all day. The next day, we ran into them again, with our husbands, they were like, SHUG! COCO! DOZ! Jon just shook his head, as usual. Anyway, Hannah/Coco called me on Friday night to tell me that one our cute boys won the gold medal in the 50m Freestyle! Way to go Caesar!
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As I said in yesterday's post, Jon and I celebrated our seven-year anniversary last night. For our anniversary gift, we had given each other a great vacation to Napa Valley in July.

Over the weekend, all Doziers gathered for my brother Nathaniel's (we call him Nippy) wedding. On Saturday night, my parents took my kids so Jon and I could have some alone time. So, last night, when it came time to do the actual celebrating (going out to dinner, etc), Jon and I just were spent from the weekend. So, we cooked a delicious dinner at home with our kids. It was really nice to do that, I must say.
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To make the day better, we have had rain for the past 48 hours (a very unusual occurrence in Dallas in August). Anyway, just after Jon and I finished our dinner and most a bottle of wine we bought in Napa, Jack came and asked if he could go play in the rain. I said yes. So, Jack, and then of course Eva, stripped down to their naked selves and ran out the door. Jon and I went chasing after them (fully clothed, mind you) and the four of us splashed around in the puddles laughing away until we could not do it anymore.

It was the best possible way we could have celebrated our big day.

Seven Years Ago, Tonight

Tonight, we had a rare occurrence in Dallas. It was driving rain in the summer without thunder and lightning.

I was immediately thrown back to another rainy night that took place seven years ago, tonight.

Jon and I got married.

Seven years ago, tonight, I arrived at my wedding wearing shorts and teva's because there were so many puddles that I did not want to get my dress and shoes wet.

Seven years ago, tonight, we had to delay our wedding because all the streets were flooded and none of our guests, including our officiant, could get there.

Seven years ago, tonight, Jon and I stood in a hallway instead of a beautiful rose garden and said our vows in front of all our friends and family who could finally arrive.

Seven years ago, tonight, our friend threw down a phone book for Jon to stand on to kiss me because he was shorter than I.

Seven years ago, tonight, our 95-year old officiant forgot our last name and pronounced us as Mr. and Mrs. Kristi.

Seven years ago, tonight, our wedding cake went crashing to the ground as it was being presented to our friends and family.

Seven years ago, tonight, my brother almost dropped me while I was sitting in my chair during the hora.

Seven years ago, tonight, Jon and I had the best wedding we could possibly imagine.

I would have not changed one minute of that day nor one minute of our seven years together.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Confession Tuesday

It's a confessional of Olympic proportions!
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I've been saving that for a while. If you have not guessed, I LOVE the Olympics. I've so enjoyed watching them this past couple of days. I have so many hours recorded, it has almost filled my DVR. Since I'm not sleeping, anyway, I love the fact that the games are on all night long! Love it!
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What do I love most about the summer games? Water polo. Now, that's a sport! I first fell in love with water polo when I lived in Atlanta in the 90's. Atlanta was gearing up for the big games and they were able to host the world cup water polo finals in '95. A friend said, hey, let's go, it's, like, $3 and we get to see the new natatorium that they have built. I figured that I would never be able be able to see the Olympics, so this was the next best thing. I was hooked. I watched the entire series over several days. Just kept going back and back. LOVE that water polo!
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When the Olympics finally arrived, I WAS able to see MANY games including the medal round for water polo. It was amazing.
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What sport do I dislike? Beach volleyball. Now, let me just say that I am a volleyball player. I even play beach volleyball. But, honestly, is this really an Olympic sport? They are taking away baseball and keeping beach volleyball?'
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Ok, I admit it, every time the US wins a gold medal and they play the National anthem, I tear up. I have to hide it from Jon because I'm sure he'll make fun of me. No need to risk humiliation.
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Michael Phelps. Rock on with your bad self.
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I've been in a bit of a dry spell with my writing recently. Dry spell on the blog, dry spell in writing to my friends, dry spell at work. Guess it would help to sleep from time to time to get the creative juices flowing. I guess. Maybe soon, all will be well.
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Ok, one final thing, Jack LOVED seeing his sister on the blog. He thought that was the greatest thing. Of course, he BEGGED me to let him dance.

Jack is obsessed right now with robots. We have robot light fixtures, robot sheets, robot pictures in his room, robot toys. Robots everywhere. So, when Jack busted this move out the other day COMPLETELY on his own(!!!) and I nearly cried laughing. Of course, I told him that he needed to do it to appropriate music.

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Eva's First Day of School

Today, was Eva's first day of school, EVER.

She's going to be going to the Mother's Day Out program at Jack's school a couple of days per week for the morning hours. I had wanted Eva to have a bit more socialization other than her brother, who can be a bit rough on her. For example, I wanted Eva to learn that when you want a toy, you don't walk up to someone, rip it out of their hands and clock them in the head. You know, things like that.

This morning, I told Eva that we would be going to school (to Jack's old class, Ms. Carmen). Wearing her new dress, she ran over to get her new Dora bag (both courtesy of her Grandma Phyllis) and proceeded to follow me around the house rolling her bag until I was ready to go.

I thought that when I dropped her off this morning, I would be in the parking lot sobbing my head off. I mean, it's my baby girl and EVA no less going off into the world at 22 months. But, I seemed to do just fine. Jack had to go to camp so he went with me to show Eva around her new classroom.


Almost all kids in Texas go back to school on the 25th, and that will include Jack.

I'm sure on that day when I drop both of my children off at school for the first time, I'll be hiding behind a tree in the parking lot, peering into their classroom windows and sobbing my little head off.

Quiere Bailar?

Last night, we attended the wedding of the brother of our former nanny, Maria.

One of the many cool things about having a nanny is that these people really do become a part of your family and you theirs. Maria left us because her husband started a restaurant and needed her there. It was the saddest day. We are fortunate, however, to have found Delfina about a year ago.

A couple of weeks ago, we were having dinner at Maria's restaurant and she asked if we would attend her brother's wedding. We were VERY excited and honored to be asked.

So, last night, we all set off to The Crystal Ballroom in a part of town we never go, for a night of amazing food and mariachi bands! We had a ball!

First, my kids were in their element. I may have mentioned this before but Jack is EXCEPTIONALLY bilingual. Eva only says about 20 words but 18 of them are in spanish. So, to watch Jack just turn it on and to watch Eva, was so much fun.

The food was incredible and the music was just terrific. Best of all, the bride and groom looked SO happy.

Here are a couple of shots.

Jack and Maria

Jack took this picture of the three of us.

Jack watches the dancing!

Eva and Delfina

Jaime and Nancy

China-Pa-Looza

Ok, let me just start by saying that I have written about 5 posts this week that I have just deleted. Just did not get in the writing groove. All of the posts were related to my love of the Olympics and how terribly excited I am for the games to begin!

Friday morning, I could not contain my excitement one more minute. I told Jon that we were going to have China-Pa-Looza! I would order chinese food, put the kids in their chinese outfits that we have, we'd all sit on the floor and watch the opening ceremonies. I had this dream that we would have the globe in the center and as the parade of athletes went along, we'd all learn geography.

Well, as you can imagine, things did not go according to plan. It started off well enough! But, of course, Jack kept walking on our "table" and HATED the chinese food (what? no chicken nuggets???), Eva wanted to dance the whole time and would throw her food at the beat of the music, and Jack had NO interest in learning ANYTHING about any of the countries.

The highlight did have to be Eva beating her chair almost at the same time as those amazing drummers!

But, overall, how AMAZING was that opening ceremony???

Alas, I think we'll go back to the China-Pa-Looza that we are comfortable with, Hong Kong Phooey.

Jack on his "chair"

Eva and the drummers


Our "table"

Dance Party!

As I have often written about, we like to do dance party at our house most nights after dinner. Well, tonight's dance party was a very improptu dance-off between Jack and Eva in the middle of dinner. Jon suddenly broke into the song Car Wash and the kids just thought that was hilarious. I found the song on You Tube and well...

Jack was running around the house when I shot this but thought you all would enjoy seeing Eva shake her thang!

And don't ask why Eva is only wearing a diaper, Jack and she snuck off for about 30 seconds while I was cooking dinner and ran through the house doing "naked racing". I finally got them to agree to put on underwear and a diaper for dinner.

Oh, and sorry for my brief singing. I realized the sound was on so I stopped for you!

I Fought the Law and I Won!

Last December, I was heading into downtown for a meeting. I remember sitting at a stop light and seeing this LONG line of cars all pulled over by police.

As I turned left, I was thinking, oh man, another "sticker compliance" sting by the Dallas police. As all my stickers were up to date, I tried to veer around the LONG line of cars.

Officer Friendly signaled for me to get in the LONG line of cars and wait my turn. Ok, I was not speeding, I have insurance, my tags are up to date, this is a minor inconvenience but whatever, they'll let me go.

APPARENTLY, you were no longer allowed to turn left at the light where I turned and APPARENTLY there was a sign telling me I could not turn left. APPARENTLY, this sign was SO clear that seven cars ahead of me did not see it and the seven cars behind me in the line did not see it. AND that was just one light cycle!

Well, let me tell you, friends, I was not going to let that ticket stand. I applied to have my day in court to fight it. So, back in December, they sent me a court date of August 4.

Although I felt ok after leaving the doctor's office today, I have to say that generally speaking, for the past five months or so, I've had a don't-eff-with-me sorta scrappiness going on. Don't eff with me Officer Friendly, I'm ready to take you on. My kid has cancer and I'm not messing around, anymore!

So, no kidding, I park my car and as I was walking into the court house the only thing I kept thinking of was that Public Enemy song, Fight the Power. It was just ringing in my head.

I sit down in court, they check me in and dismiss us all for an hour. I went to the hallway to review some work I had brought. A few minutes later, a jubilant fellow ticket protester came out saying that they were dismissing all the cases, Officer Friendly had taken vacation and was not in court to serve as a witness. Case dismissed!

While ecstatic at the result, I am sort of sad that I did not get my scrappy self in front of the judge. I was ready, I tell ya. Fight the Power!

Appointment Update

Well, it certainly has been an information-filled couple of days.

As you know, we met with Dr. Zage at MD Anderson last Thursday. He was just terrific and really gave us some direction. We felt so good leaving there and if we lived in Houston, that would be our first choice of care for sure.

Armed with new information and ready for a discussion this morning with our doctors, we left for the appointment.

Dr. Goldman said that Dr. Zage had called him after we left on Thursday, which we really appreciated.

There was much discussion, chemo vs surgery vs careful watching. None seem like such a great option, to be honest. The problem with the chemo is that it may cause damage her heart, among other things. It could also change the tumor type to where it will not spontaneously go away on its own as some nb tumors do. Surgery is risky for many reasons generally, but to up the ante on this surgery, the tumor is located on the side of the heart. Careful watching could be fine except for, again, the location of the tumor which is, as Dr. Goldman showed me on today's xray hugging the spine. Which also means that there is a shot that it might not be able to be removed ANYWAY!

Oh, and her catecholamines were normal today. But, as Dr. Goldman showed me, the were rising each month within normal ranges. We are right at the edge of normal so next time, we'll probably be high. What does that mean? Well, it just means we have a bit of time to make the right decision for Eva, but not too much time.

Bottom line:
We are scheduling a CT for three weeks from now. At that time, we will take a look at our options.

In the meantime, Dr. Goldman is sending Eva's file to Dr. Brian Kushner at Sloan-Kettering just to get his opinion. Dr. Kushner is THE MAN when it comes to neuroblastoma. Of the 600 kids diagnosed with nb a year, his clinic sees 300 of them.

Also, he is meeting with the radiologist and the surgeons to discuss our next move.

Obviously, as I have mentioned, the hardest part is the fact that there does not seem to be a clear cut position. But, I am comforted by both Dr. Zage and Dr. Goldman who have made me feel better about Eva's outlook.

One thing that my mother pointed out. She said that from speaking with me, she feels very comforted by the fact that at every level, each doctor we seem to be coming in contact with, has put Eva first and foremost. There does not seem to be any ego overwhelming the situation. I believe that she is absolutely right. We are truly lucky in that regard.

Jon and I are ok. We're both worried for Eva but feel ok about the direction of her treatment. I think that in some ways, I am have a bit of advantage over Jon when dealing with this situation. When I was dealing with my own leukemia, you learn that things change every minute with cancer. Every plan is not written in pencil, it seems to be written in sand and just before high tide. I think that has been hard for Jon but, God bless him, he's doing very well.

And the beat goes on.

Well, That Was Weird!

Last night, I noticed that my blog had shut down.

Turns out that after some research done by my trusty pal, Laura, the sitemeter was crashing everyone's blogs!

So, I removed it this morning and it works fine.

Scary feeling when you think you've lost all your work for the past several years!

Whew!

Bad Haiku Friday Festival!

Each Friday, my friend, Laura, over at Catholic Teacher Musings writes her Bad Haiku Friday poems. This week, she has called for a Bad Haiku Friday festival! Although I read hers with envy, I have no talent for it.

But, not one to ever give up on a challenge, here's mine, with apologies to my many ACTUAL poet friends!

I wrote this on the four hour drive back from Houston, yesterday.

Kettle corn, so sweet

Fills my tummy and my hips

A real truck stop find

Feel free to give it a whirl on your site and let Laura know!

A Recipe for Success!

As many of you requested, here is my award-winning black bean soup recipe! First, I have to be truthful. This is pretty much a very slightly modified version of the soup recipe listed on the can of Ranch Style Black Beans. One day, I was in the grocery store and had a craving for black bean soup. So, I went to the cans and bags of black beans to see who had the best recipe. This one did it for me!

Here you go!

Goodnight Mom's Black Bean Soup

1 tbsp of vegetable oil
1 cup chopped carrots
1 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cans of RO-TEL Chunky Diced tomatoes and Green Chilies (I like the original flavor but it does have a bit of a kick. Choose the mild if you think you might have an aversion)
3 cans of black beans, undrained
1 can (11oz) of Mexi-corn
1/4 cup of fresh chopped cilantro

Add dash of oil over medium heat; add carrots, celery and onion. Cook for about 15 min or until tender. Add remaining ingredients EXCEPT for cilantro. Heat to boil and then reduce heat and simmer for at least 20 minutes. Blend in cilantro just before serving.

To mix it up a bit more:
Add crushed tortilla chips and a dollop of sour cream to the top when serving.

That's it!

MD Anderson

This is a quick update on today's trip to Houston. First, I want to thank MJ for ALL her assistance in the trip!

Yesterday afternoon, Jon called me and told me that the flights had filled up. I told him to pack up his office and we were going to drive. I did not have the patience to sit in the airport all night long only to have to drive later.

Well, as it turns out, we made the right move. They ended up canceling the last flights out of DFW to Houston. But, by the time AA did that, we were nice and snug in MJ's living room eating the most amazing pizza I have ever had!

This morning, bright and early, we met with the neuroblastoma team headed by Dr. Peter Zage. It was VERY informative.

The bottom line is that he feels very strongly that our doctors did exactly what they would have done, had we gone to MD Anderson in the first place. That, alone, lifted a tremendous "did we make the right decision" weight that Jon and I had been carrying for the past months or so. He said that hindsight is obviously 20/20 and maybe he would have made different decisions if he knew about the tumor now. This is exactly what Dr. Goldman told me.

After a long discussion about our options, he did recommend that we do chemo, just as I had predicted. But, in speaking with him, Jon and I also believe that this is the right decision.

Still unbelievable to Jon and me is the fact that three doctors have now told us that chemo is preferential to surgery. I find that so difficult to wrap my head around. But, it turns out that the terrible effects of chemo are mostly (and hopefully) short-term while surgery has a lasting effect on the body. Who knew?

I swear, it was so great to have MJ there. She talked to the doctors as if Eva were her daughter. And she asked the hard questions. She asked him if there was any reason for us to leave Dallas and come there for treatment. What Dr. Zage told us was that specific to Eva's very special case, we were going to get the exact same treatment in Dallas with our doctors as we were going to get there in Houston.

So, for now, we're staying put.

What's next? Well, we have an appointment with our doctors on Monday morning. We are going to sit with them and have a heart to heart about what we believe is the appropriate course of action for Eva. What we have now is not only a vote of confidence in THEM but more confidence in ourselves to make the right choice for Eva.

Anyway, that's the recap. I'll post more after our meeting with the doctors but I have to say, I have a feeling that it will be a very long Fall! Hope you guys stay with me!

Confession Tuesday

Welcome to another edition of Confession Tuesday!

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First, we are heading to Houston tomorrow evening to take Eva to MD Anderson. Our dear friend, MJ, works for MDA and has gotten us an appointment. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm sure that the dr. will tell us one of two things: do nothing or chemo. What Jon and I have to come to terms with is which decision is best for Eva.

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It is so strange. This is such a busy time and a bit stressful at work for me with planning for my campaign for next year. BUT, when your kid is sick, it is amazing how much work stress can just disappear almost immediately. You know what you have to do first and foremost. You cancel all your appointments, no matter how important they are and you just go to Houston.

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I have not been sleeping at all. At all. I finally took a pill last night so that I could get some rest. It was amazing how much more energy I had today when I have some rest.

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I had way too much wine with my girlfriends on Saturday night. Jon is such an angel. Even though Sunday is his day to sleep in, he got up at 8a and took over the kids for me so I could sleep it off. Not only did he do this, he did it without complaint. THAT I can really appreciate!

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I sat in bed on Sunday and watched Hairspray about 7 times. It has nothing to do with my inappropriate crush on Zac Efron. It is just a goooood movie! By the way, did anyone see him in People magazine this week? There was a shot of him leaving the gym with the title "Hey Zac! Nice Guns!" Indeed!

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My friend Joseph and I always have this saying that all of life's situations can relate to a song from Les Mis. We can burst into those lyrics at any given moment. I might have to add Hairspray to that list. As things have been moving along in my life, those songs just keep popping in my head. Jack throws up. I have to make an emergency trip to the laundromat. What am I singing? "There's a roaaaaad, we've been travelin'...." I'm in the shower and feelin' a bit sassy? "Cause I'm big, blooooonde and beautiful" Generally happy and playing with the kids? "Without looooooooove, darlin' never set me free" Chasing after the kids all over the yard? "You can't stop the motion of the ocean, or the sun in the sky...you can't stop the beeeeeat"

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I finally got my washing machine back today!!! It was not a problem with my machine but rather a clogged line. The first plumber who came by (sent by American Home Shield) could not fix the line because it was in the roof. SO, AHS, not shockingly, denied our work as they usually do. It took us a bit to find someone who would do the work and after about 8 weeks of visits to the laundrymat, I can now do my laundry at home....ahhhh.

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And now for the most important news! We had an office summer party last Friday. As part of that function, we had a recipe cook off. Well, guess which blogger pal of yours won 2nd place??? ME!

Now, those of you who read this and know me personally, I'm sure your first reaction pretty much like my family's reaction. One of two things: 1) you do a spit-take or 2) you ask me what Jon prepared.

Well, my friends, I am very proud to announce that I MADE SOMETHING MYSELF AND entered it into a contest which WON ME A PRIZE! What did I make? My, now award-winning, Vegetarian Black Bean Soup. And it turned out mighty nice!

Lucas--Borrowed Post

First, an update:
We are heading to MD Anderson on Thursday to meet with Dr. Zage. I'll post about that soon.

To the post:
When Eva was diagnosed, I had several people contact me through my blog that I did not know. They were parents of children with neuroblastoma.

My world was suddenly opened to this incredibly welcoming, very strong group of folks who have just one thing in common. Our kids all had neuroblastoma.

One of the first people to write to me was Pat Lacey, father of Will. Will is quite an amazing boy and I have loved getting to "know" his family online. Pat posted something a couple of days ago that I just had to steal for my own blog.

This is a photo essay of one families' struggle with neuroblastoma with their gorgeous son, Lucas. I do have to warn you in advance of clicking on the links. These photos are incredibly strong and some are taken as he was dying. There are no words to describe how much these incredibly personal photographs moved me. So much so, I wrote the Tran's to see if I could add it to my blog.

With all due respect to Pat, here's his post:

As I mentioned one time in the past, I have a large number of bookmarks of children whose stories I follow. Some of these bookmarks have been edited so that the date these children were killed by this disease has been added after their name.

I occasionally, when I feel prepared, go in and 'visit' these families. Sometimes you are devasted to see the impact the loss has had on these families, other times you gain hope to see that they have somehow started finding joy again.

Today, I visited the page for Lucas Tran that I have not visited for a while. I have always found the entries to be so insightful, honest, and so open. I was absolutely leveled by what I found today.

The photo essay done by Lucas's uncle is extraordinarily powerful and brutally honest. The post from Lucas's site is below:

"My only sibling, Tommy (we call him Thong at home), who was a mechanical engineer turned professional photographer, created a story of Lucas' life from the beautiful photos he took (minus the last picture which was taken by Chinh). Tommy lived with us for about a year before Kira arrived and frequently visited afterward. He was here shortly after Lucas was born, shortly after diagnosis, during surgery in NY, spent most of the summer in NY with us last year, and cut his trip in Africa short when I told him Lucas was dying.

Lucas was very fond of Tommy and gave him an endearing nickname that he made up--Dodi (dough-dee). In addition to hiding from Tommy and being chased by him, Lucas loved playing with Tommy's tripod, camera with an enormous lens and detached flash, pda phone, and stickering his suitcase. Thanks for the tribute Thong and, more importantly, for being such a big part of Lucas' life (and ours). Click here to view the photos and captions. You may need to maximize your window to see the captions. Warning: some of the photos are from the time of his death."

My Little Makeup Artists

This afternoon, while Jon was packing up our stuff to go swimming at my sister-in-law's house, I let the kids apply make up on me.

Here is the result.

Of course, the sad part is that I am not much better at it, myself!

Confession Tuesday

Well, it has been a while since I have had a confession. So, here you go!
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I hate it when businesses replace "Qu" or "C" with "K". Things like "Kwik Kar Wash" or "Krazy" this or that. Seriously, it drives me crazy.
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I may have mentioned this before but it should be repeated, also on the list of things that drive me crazy, 10 items or less.
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Today as I was heading home from work in the middle of downtown Dallas, I saw a woman and her girlfriend chatting on the street corner. Totally having a nice chatty conversation. This was a completely normal occurrence except for the fact that one of the women had a case of bottled water on her head.
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The other day, Jack was a complete mess. He was completely out of control. Without going through all the details, I had him at home just the two of us. As I put him in his room to cool down, he started slamming his door at me. So, I went into the garage, grabbed the screwdriver and hammer and very calmly without speaking to him, took off his door and took it to the garage. When he asked what I was doing, I told him that my son will not slam the door at me and he lost his "door privileges until further notice." I'm sure that night will come up in therapy 20 years from now.
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This is just an awful confession. Yesterday, I was at a restaurant with some colleagues. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw this sort of scary homeless looking black guy at the next table suddenly appear. He got up to let a family sit at the table and walked past my chair. As he did, I instinctively grabbed my purse to make sure it was zipped up. Later, I felt AWFUL at my stereotyping that guy! Turns out, he did steal the wallet of my colleague who was sitting next to me. Guess I don't feel so bad now.
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Can I get a shout out "HOORAY!" for the return of Project Runway?
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Not a confession but rather an update on Eva. Talked to the doctor's office today to make sure that we have all the paperwork in order to get it to MD Anderson. I'm hoping that we can meet next week. I'm pretty nervous about it but am prepared for whatever they tell me.
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One final thought about today. Tonight, Jack asked me to read him a book in spanish. Those who know me know that I do not speak spanish but Jack and Eva do. Anyway, back to the book. I'm reading this little story to Jack and about halfway through the book, he patted me on the chest and said, "Mommy, you're doing very well in your spanish!" Thanks, Jack!

What Wine Would you Serve With These, Red or White?

Sometimes it is extrememly difficult to be a parent. Sometimes, you have to be the heavy when your kids say something so outrageous that you can't keep it together. Every parent has a story about their children and this one is mine about Jack.

Jack has become obsessed with "potty" words. He works very hard to interject "butt", "poop", and "booty" into every conversation. We, obviously, discourage this. But, since Jack is a four-year old boy, he likes to try to needle me to see how I would react.

Not so long ago I was cooking dinner, let's say it was fish.

Jack:" What are you making for dinner?"
Mom: "fish"
Jack: "Noooooooooo! I don't WANT FISH FOR DINNER!!!!'
Mom: "Too bad, it is what is being served tonight"
Jack storms off. Jack returns.
Jack: "Mommy? May I have something else for dinner?"
Mom--not wanting to start another fit but thought I could tell him I would make his request tomorrow: "what would you like, Jack?"
Jack: "I think tonight, I would like buuuuuuuuuuuutt nuggets!"
Mom--trying to hold it together and not encourage this conversation: "I don't think that I know how to prepare those"
Jack: "They're easy, they are just like chicken nuggets but with poooooooop in them!"

After my spit-take, I had to leave the room.

Sounds DE-LISH! Think there is a recipe on epicurious.com?

Summertiiiiiiiiiiiiime, and the Livin' is Easy....

Here at Goodnight Mom Land, we have been super busy this week with the joys of summer.

As I have mentioned many times, I do love summer. I love the late nights, the fun outdoor activities, the ice cream. Just the fun things to do.

This week, we have spent most nights outside playing until very late. Here's a shot of the kids in our backyard "lake" that we created with a hose.

Define Normal?

Well, we had good news today. Eva's catecholamines were normal!

What does that mean? Well, the tumor that is growing is not affecting her at this time.

What does that mean? Well, it means that we are not under the gun to make any decisions about her care.

So, the plan is to still go to MD Anderson for a second opinion. After speaking to several physicians throughout the day, they all agree with the current plan that our doctors are recommending, the sit and wait plan.

They all did recommend, however, that we consider chemo as an option. So, of course, we have NO idea what we are going to do right now.

As most of you know, I am well aware of what chemo does to the body, having done it already myself. This is not my first preference for Eva.

Of course, my first preference is to make sure that we do whatever we need to do to make sure she is still here five years from now. But, if we can avoid putting her through chemo, I sure would hope that we can.

I'm doing ok today. Seem to be a bit gloomy for someone who just learned that her daughter had normal test results. I think it is all the unknown that is getting to me. Do we do chemo? do we do surgery? do we just wait? No one has any clear answers and that is just killing me.

Today, in my boot camp, I had a complete breakdown. I think too much exercise plus too much stress = fall apart. I'll keep the exercise but hopefully lose the stress.

Anyway, that's it. More to come.

Quick Update

On Monday, I had a long chat with the doctor late in the afternoon.

He feels pretty strongly that Eva will go into surgery at some point. I told him that for me, it was not a question of if but when.

As confident as I feel about Eva's oncologists, this news was such a reality check that we need to have many folks looking at things. So, I talked to my dear friend MJ who works at MD Anderson and am hoping to get a second opinion there in the next week or so.

I aslo sent Eva's CT results to another dear friend who is a radiologist so that he can interpret what I was reading. When I sat down with the computer to use as a dictionary, there were words in there that scared me to death.

Hopefully, Michael will be able to put my mind at ease later today.

Anyway, we're all well here. Eva and Jack are just fine.

I'll keep you posted!

Dumbbells: They Ain't Just for Working Out

Well, it is a mixed bag of news. Here it is, as best as I can relate it:

Got to the doctor this AM. Met with Dr. Goldman who had not read our ct report prior to our arrival. I say this because when he came in, he was just shocked to hear that Eva had another something. Dr. Weinthal had done the visit last month and I guess did not relate it to Dr. Goldman.

He was at a loss as to what to say because he had not seen the actual film and could not get his head wrapped around exactly what was happening. So, the wonderful man that he is, he called the radiologist and asked if the four of us (Dr. Goldman, Jon, Eva and I) could go down and look at the film ourselves.

The radiologist had all three ct's up on the screen. First of all, that tumor back in February was HUGE! I am so glad that no one showed me that before because I could not have handled it at the time. It had shoved her lungs and her heart all to the side. Amazing she was able to function with that giant thing inside of her.

Then, we saw the other tumor. As it turns out, the radiologist saw this tumor back in February. In looking at the film, Dr. Goldman said that it appeared to be an offshoot of the original tumor. A dumbbell-shaped tumor, if you will. The reason no one saw it (other than the radiologist who neglected to put it in the report), is that it was on the left side. It was so small it did not show up for oncologists or surgeons to see with their naked eyes and since they went in on the right side, it was hidden on the left.

Dr. Goldman did tell us that they absolutely would not have done anything differently if they had known about the tumor stretching out to the other side. They don't do double thorocotomy's very often, apparently, so they would have left it.

The only thing that would have changed is that Jon and I would not have been blind-sided last month at the appointment. No need to get bitter about that, though, as the news is ok.

So, that tumor is now growing. Very slowly, but growing.

So, what is the next step, you ask? Well, we're not sure (surprise!) We are waiting for the urine test (the catecholamine levels) to determine if they are elevated. If they are normal, the tumor stays and they watch it very closely to see if it just goes away. If they are elevated, we go immediately into surgery. My hunch is that the test will probably show normal and we will wait to see what happens to it. They are not going to let it get too much bigger before removing it but no need to put Eva in surgery unless they have to. Apparently now, this tumor is not doing much.

So, I guess the best thing is that it is not a recurrence or a relapse rather just the growth of what was left behind. Good news about the other tumor, though, it is just a gigantic hole now with no regrowth! So amazing!

Thank you, again, for all your concern and prayers. It means the world to us to have such a strong support system. I tell you, if anyone can handle this, it is Eva Jane. She marches through that office like she owns it. She will grab that stethoscope from the doctor and put it on her own chest, thank you. She's strong, that is for sure. I'm sure that will come in handy as we move along.

When You're Tired, You Take a Napa

Happy 6th of July, everyone!

Could not write while away as I left my computer AT HOME! What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful vacation Jon and I had. I don't know if I could be more relaxed at this moment.

Back in April, we were invited to Napa to our good friend's home for July 4th. It took them many years to build their house and they wanted to break it in! So, I'm pretty sure all of our arrangements were made within about five minutes of the conversation on the Kohlman's porch back at Jazzfest. Oh, and Jon's parents soooo kindly agreed to watch our children so we could go alone! We were so excited in anticipation!

First of all, our host and hostess could not have been more gracious to us. I mean, they were just so generous with their time and with their home. For that, I am so appreciative.

Funny thing about their new house, it was amazing how much it felt and resembled my house. I mean, well, mine is about 13,000sf smaller but they are both brick! Theirs is on 47 acres, ours is on .47 acres! Oh, we both have "infinity" pools! Theirs overlooks the beautiful valley, mine takes an infinity to fill up with the hose. The only thing that I would definitely say negative about their house versus mine is that they were definitely lacking the "charm" of gutters hanging down off the side of the house and a dishwasher that floods the garage. Yeah, that was missing FOR SURE!

The formal living room

For the bulk of the trip, we ate and drank our way through the Napa Valley. I was a bit worried as there was no part of me that was even remotely interested in the wineries where they allow bus tours. If that is your thing, well, I'm sure it was terrific. That was just too many crowds and too high stress for me.

We spent one day on Spring Mountain Road where there are so many small wineries. As a matter of fact, when we went to Guilliams winery, Shawn, the owner, just had us sit in lawn chairs in her vinyard while she poured generous helpings of wine. That's my kind of day. Three days of that and oh man, am I recharged!

Oh, and I forgot to mention the Fourth of July at the club where I even got a massage! Ahhhhh!

My view on the 4th

We even got a bonus visit this afternoon with Jon's cousin and his lovely family. I always just enjoy their company so much and was sad to only get to visit for such a short time.

As much of a shutterbug as I am, I took about a gazillion pictures of the house and of our trip. Not going to post them, obviously, but if you'd like to see them, let me know and I will email!

Got home too late tonight and kids are asleep. Just trying to enjoy the final moments of quiet before the onslaught of tomorrow.

Have Eva's doctor's appointment tomorrow. Getting slammed back to reality. But for tonight, my head is still lying in that lawn chair outside of our friend's house in 50 degree weather, trying to count the millions of stars above.