Monday, April 14, 2008

Wanted: Dead or Alive

Well, tonight is the big Bon Jovi concert! I will finally get to see my beloved Jon sing in concert with 15,000 of my closest friends.

As I have said MANY times, Jon and I have a special bond. We both do a mean rendition of Livin' on a Prayer but his is generally before a larger audience than my two children and my husband.

And I love him.

You can imagine my happiness when I opened up my surprise Christmas gift from my beloved Jon (Bon Bernstein) below.

Now, Jon (Bon Bernstein) has turned. He does not want to lose "cool" points with his peeps so he is brushing off the fact that I firmly believe that he is almost as excited as I am to see the show.

Today, I received this from one of his best friends and thought I would post the slightly edited version. Not to validate his argument but because I want you all to know what I have to put up with! What is wrong with you, SK, that you cannot see the beauty that is Bon Jovi?!? I mean, what's not to love? Who doesn't love a song where he says, "I've seen a million faces, and I've rocked them all!" Pure genius. Bob Dylan won a Pulitzer, maybe Jon Bon Jovi might be next!
From SK:
On the matter of actually shelling out hard earned money for Jon Bon Jovi I have a few thoughts.

Why not pay someone to run over your hand or to beat you around the neck and head. It surely would be cheaper and the long term affects would be less severe. I would think if you must purchase tickets and attend the show you would be due some compensation or favors.
Below I have listed what I would consider fair compensation for purchasing the Bon Jovi tickets and attending the concert with " The Fan."
For a period of one year.
1. Purchaser will never again awaken with the children. "The Fan" will attend to all the children's nocturnal needs. Purchaser will never be disturbed so as not to interrupt his Rock and Roll dreams.
2. "The Fan" must maintain strict confidentiality. She must support the purchaser when he denies having attended the show to any suspecting accuser.
3. "The Fan" will prepare all meals in the future buffet style with several choices for the purchaser. If nothing is to his liking a take out meal must be obtained immediately.
4. "The Fan" may never watch any type of realty TV or Lifetime channel again. Only sports and good rock and roll shows. Purchaser from now on will pick all movies.
5. At the show purchaser will be allowed to excuse himself at anytime especially if he is feeling physically ill.
6. Purchaser will select all acts to be seen at Jazz Fest. God forbid "The Fan" might want to go see Jimmy Buffet.
7. If "The Fan" gets pulled on stage to dance with Jon she must cover her face the entire time so as not to violate the confidentiality agreement mentioned above. If this footage is on the local news and people recognize "The Fan" and in turn people know the purchaser attended said Bon Jovi show the purchaser will be given the option of leaving the country for 6 months to let things die down. "The Fan" can also be admitted to an insane asylum there by providing the purchaser with an excuse.
8. "The Fan" will agree to drive on all vacations so the purchaser may sleep, read, or whatever. On trips without the children, purchaser will be allowed to use the back seat as a bed. Yes, even on short trips.
9. Each night purchaser will select a CD to play in an attempt to de-program "The Fan".
10. These penalties double if Bon Jovi covers a song the purchaser likes.
11. Penalties will also double if Bon Jovi decides to do a double encore.
12. The children are never to know this happened.

Yeah, we'll see tomorrow. Don't even THINK that I'm not rushing the stage!

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